1st November -- Some issues surfacing again
Hi all, how have everyone been? Working out well?
Today, I didnt go exercise. Thought I will please my dad and stay home instead (you see today its my dad's birthday and he doesnt like my sis and me to go to the beach to jog. He feels its not too safe out there). Anyway, so I didnt exercise today.
Not feeling very happy now--- or rather not happy at all. I feel there are just so much angst in me. My bf has been upsetting me with his ridiculous principles and rules and I just feel I've lost myself in it all. Perhaps its the menses. (I'm having it now). I don't know. I just feel this deep-rooted unhappiness.
Today is my dad's birthday, yet my bf refuses to get any gifts for him. I am trying my best to be a good daughter to his mom, entertaining her, listening to her woes, yet I just dont understand why my bf has to be so hard, so unhuman, so unfeeling. Doesnt he know what type of person I am? Doesnt he know I love my family alot and will want my bf to treat my family as his own? Is it so hard to buy a present and fulfil the duties of a bf instead of sleeping day in day out? Even when he went to my granny's house, all he did was to sit at the sofa and take a nap. What is the point of being there visiting when all he do is sleep there?
Its so hard. Its really so hard to keep a relationship going, and I am just so unhappy. I know you (my bf will be reading this post sooner or later) and I just want you to know, I really hope you can try harder at making it work. If you know me well enough (and you should given we've been together for 8 long years), then you should know what I will require of a bf-- and I believe its not too hard to do isnt it. Its part and parcel of what a good bf and husband will do.
Weight wise, many people have noticed I've lost weight. Its not as much as I hoped, but I am trying my best to take it slow and easy. Slow and easy will do it. Hoping to be less than 70kg by 15 Nov 08. That about 5lbs pounds to lose in 2 weeks. I will do it!