Hi all babes, today being Tues, is my weigh-in!!!! 9th weigh-in to be exact!!!!
9th WI -- 18 Nov 08 (Tuesday) since 14 Sept 08
Start weight: 166.4lbs
Weight at 9th WI: 156.6lbs
Weight lost: 0.6lbs/0.2kg
Total Weight lost: 9.8lbs/4.44kg
Okay, my weight loss shouldn't have been so little, but I realise I can't help but keep sabotaging myself and my efforts. Its like each time I see a loss, I feel so contented that I will overeat immediately after. My eating habits have been terrible with more and more frequent binges. Its totally unnecessary those extra food, but its like I've given up subconsciously. Instead of a mere 0.6lbs loss for the last three weeks, it should have been at least a 6lbs if not for my bad eating habits. Those tapioca chips and late night junk food is really killing my efforts!!!
So, from today onwards, its time for me to jump back on the wagon!!! No more slacking off and being complacent with my little loss. Its time for me to strike back and work harder!!!
Lots of people have been commenting on my weight-loss these days, and I'm suddenly so used to people telling me I look smaller, slimmer, etc. I think their praises are getting into my head, making me super big-headed and complacent. Time to change gal!! Another part of me is like "You mean to say I was very fat previously? Because even though I've lost nearly 10lbs, I still feel I've got a long way to go, and I'm not exactly even anywhere near my ideal weight" Okay okay, I really should stop bitching. Sorry babes.
So today, so far so good food-wise. Had some nasty calorie-ladden pasta and icecream and deep fried seafood platter for dinner, but overall, it should still be within my calorie-range with all that exercise (7km jog today!!!! So proud) and low-caloried lunch. So I'll work along the same line for tomor's meals!
Hi babes, how have you all been? Its been awhile since I last wrote, and yes, I've still been eating badly though still exercising. I fell ill on 11th Nov though (Tues) and skipped exercising for 3 whole days. The gym trainer says that I over worked myself thats why my immune system got weaken. Usually most people will train on alternate days and not everyday like what I've been doing for 2 months now.
So I missed my WI on Tues... but I did weigh myself on Fri 14 Nov and I weigh 157.2lbs. I'm quite happy with that considering I have been bingeing non-stop these days.
These days, things with my family, especially my dad and my bf have been tense. I know my dad has his flaws and he has my intentions at heart, but sometimes it really gets on my nerves especially when I dont quite agree with his rules, his views. It makes me feel so infilial when I make him upset, yet I can't really bring myself to lead my life the way HE wants it to be led. I mean, its my life right?! Arghhh. I am just such a bad daughter.
Hi all, how have you all been? I've been good keeping up with my exercise, but my eating habits still suck. Especially these few weeks, I've just been bingeing bingeing and bingeing, especially in the late night.
Tonight especially, I overate yet again, but unlike other nights, tonight I just feel so so sick. All those packets of sweets, gummies and candy, and me stuffing my face at dinner too, and now, I just feel so ill. Bloated in the terrible way. Guilty too.
Each time during my lunchtime runs, I tell myself not to overeat, so that I can make the most of my runs, but every single night, I just start to eat and eat continously, ignoring what my brain is telling me. Argggghhhh. I really need to change that!
Other than that, things have been pretty much the same. Except tomor (Thurs) night, I probably have to work really late, and on (Fri) I may have to skip my lunchtime run for work. But all will be fine-- It must be fine.
Today I hopped on the scale, and you know what?!?!!? I gained!!!!! I'm so so scare all my efforts will be washed down the drain! All those nearly 2 months of daily 6-7km runs!!!! It really took alot of discipline to actually complete those 7km runs, and it took me so long to lose that mesierable 8lbs loss. I really cannot afford to gain them all back. Feeling so terrified now. But its too late, I've already finished all my bingeing for tonight before I hopped on the scale.
Hi all! Today the gym was super quiet so I managed to fit in my 53mins run of 7km. 8.0km/hr consistently for 5km, before dropping to 7.7km/hr and the last 400m was done at 8.9km/hr. Super proud of myself especially since my knee started to feel weird halfway through the run. I think I need to lose somemore weight to lessen the load on my poor knees.
So for my 7th WI!!!!
7th WI -- 4 Nov 08 (Tuesday) since 14 Sept 08
Start weight: 166.4lbs
Weight at 7th WI: 157.0lbs
Weight lost: 1.2lbs/0.54kg
Total Weight lost: 9.4lbs/4.26kg
I know I could have lost more if not for my increased food intake... so my aim for Nov is to try my best to eat lesser, especially for dinner, and no more suppers. Can't promise anything now, but I will try my hardest.
So hows everyone? I'm praying hard that I can be 143lbs by 1st Jan 09.
That will be 14lbs more in less than 2 months. Wow. 14lbs in 8 weeks, 1.75lbs consistently for the next 8 weeks to meet my 1st mini goal!
Hi babes, how are you all doing? Things have been going pretty well, and my relationship with my bf has improved quite abit. Being in a rocky relationship really does put a toll on me, so we are trying our best to be more considerate to each other, to be there for each other.
Feeling very happy today somehow... I think its because I can see the efforts my bf is putting, especially towards my family. Therefore, I promise I shall be even better to his family members.
Weight-wise, its been slowing down. But, that could also be because these days my food intake has increased quite abit. Its always the dinner and supper that I just can't resist. And all the celebrations, what with my dad's birthday, All Souls' day, and all the birthdays coming up, its really one feast after another. I've also increased my usual jogging speed from 7.2-7.7 to 7.7-8.9. Increased quite considerably because of my gym's new treadmill rule which limits each runner to 20 mins on the treadmill. But if there's no queue, I'm allowed to continue.
So today, I ran 7km non-stop at a consistent speed of 8km/hr then dropping to 7.7km/hr before doing the final dash at 8.9km/hr. Feeling super proud of myself, but dinner has been the pitfall, with a supper of durians, sweets, and deep fried tim-sums. (hongkong deserts/tibits). Yum yum.
So how have everyone been? Tomor is my next weigh-in. Is it the 6th or 7th? And I just can't wait to see the numbers on the scale. I'm praying for a 156lbs. That will jus simply make my day!
Today, I didnt go exercise. Thought I will please my dad and stay home instead (you see today its my dad's birthday and he doesnt like my sis and me to go to the beach to jog. He feels its not too safe out there). Anyway, so I didnt exercise today.
Not feeling very happy now--- or rather not happy at all. I feel there are just so much angst in me. My bf has been upsetting me with his ridiculous principles and rules and I just feel I've lost myself in it all. Perhaps its the menses. (I'm having it now). I don't know. I just feel this deep-rooted unhappiness.
Today is my dad's birthday, yet my bf refuses to get any gifts for him. I am trying my best to be a good daughter to his mom, entertaining her, listening to her woes, yet I just dont understand why my bf has to be so hard, so unhuman, so unfeeling. Doesnt he know what type of person I am? Doesnt he know I love my family alot and will want my bf to treat my family as his own? Is it so hard to buy a present and fulfil the duties of a bf instead of sleeping day in day out? Even when he went to my granny's house, all he did was to sit at the sofa and take a nap. What is the point of being there visiting when all he do is sleep there?
Its so hard. Its really so hard to keep a relationship going, and I am just so unhappy. I know you (my bf will be reading this post sooner or later) and I just want you to know, I really hope you can try harder at making it work. If you know me well enough (and you should given we've been together for 8 long years), then you should know what I will require of a bf-- and I believe its not too hard to do isnt it. Its part and parcel of what a good bf and husband will do.
Weight wise, many people have noticed I've lost weight. Its not as much as I hoped, but I am trying my best to take it slow and easy. Slow and easy will do it. Hoping to be less than 70kg by 15 Nov 08. That about 5lbs pounds to lose in 2 weeks. I will do it!
Hi all, this is my second post today because I just have so many things to report! Yesterday (Monday) was a public holiday here cos of deepavali, and my friends from university suddenly called for a lunch gathering! (Okay, it wasnt that last minute, I was told of it on Saturday.) Anyway, they are my very close bunch of friends from my internship in Shanghai. Through the 6 months in 2005, we ate, worked, studied, and stayed in the same apartment block. Those were one of the best periods of my life.
So, we didnt meet for like nearly a year (at least we didnt meet up altogether in such a big group). There were 12 of us, and wow, the catching up was so good. And to think, I was so pressurised before meeting them, changing sets after sets of clothes. I really dont understand why I needed to "impress" them. Its so weird. I mean, I know these people for so long... they've seen me sweaty and smelly after exercise last time, they've seen me in my pjs. I guess it must be the time.
Anyway, the meeting went great!!! Everyone complimented me saying I look prettier and more radiant!! Its so nice and different to be in the lime light! I'm so glad I decided to embark on this long journey of weightloss and thats not all, I'm so proud that I am doing it the right way, by exercising daily and eating right! I'm so happy with my choices of going to the beach every weekend to take in the sun, sea and sand! Next on my agenda will definately be rollarblading and cable skiing or wakeboarding. Yeah!!! I think the glow that they were commenting about must be my newfound sun-kiss tan.
Okay, I didnt lose that much weight, only 8.2lbs or 3kg... and we planned to meet up again for a Christmas party sometime 20th Dec. So, I think I've found my motivation! From today till Christmas, I think that will be about 8 more weeks? So a realistic goal will be 145lbs? Hahaha, there I go again, counting the eggs before its hatched. Alright, me logging off now. Cheers!
Hi all! I just had my 6th WI and the results are: *drum roll pls*
6th WI -- 28 Oct 08 (Tuesday) since 14 Sept 08
Start weight: 166.4lbs
Weight at 6th WI: 158.2lbs
Weight lost: 1.6lbs/0.72kg
Total Weight lost: 8.2lbs/3.72kg
I'm finally definately, confirmly under 160lbs!!!! Wow!!! I've been above 160lbs since jan 2008 and now i'm nearly back to my 2007 weight! Yeah!!! So exciting!
This week's food intake has been disgusting. Too much calorie ladden junk, yet amazingly I still lost. Keeping my fingers crossed that it wouldn't show in my next WI.
Isn't it amazing how it is already the 6th week since I started?
Yesterday was deepavali (public holiday) and also a long weekend, and I didnt get to exercise for 3 whole days, so today, I did myself proud and jogged 7.4km non-stop!!!! Took me 58mins, and I jogged at a increased speed of 7.9km/hr (previously was all along 7.7-7.2km/hr). And let me tell you, the adrendaline, its just amazing. You just feel so satisfied, so proud, and so re-energised! I really missed that feeling the past few days.
Besides that, I've got so much to report.... okay, i shall write again later tonight. Need to go back to work now.
Hi all, first and foremost, I really want to thank you babes so much for all your well wishes and encouragement! I'm really grateful for all your prayers, all your encouragement in my times of need. Really thank you!
Wow, its been so long since I last blogged here, since 12 Oct 08!!! And the latest update is that me and my ex-bf patched, so we're back together now. We're both working very hard at making our relationship work now, and hopefully the worst is over... He now knows how hurtful his words of "encouragement", those words of me being fat and ugly, hurts, and he is now trying his best to change his mode of encouragement. (It helped that I've lost a bit of weight, which apparently he was impress)
We had a good talk over what happened and things have improved since.
Anyway, I've missed a few posts about my WI, so here goes:
4th WI -- 14 Oct 08 (Tuesday) since 14 Sept 08
Start weight: 166.4lbs
Weight at 4th WI: 159.9lbs
Weight lost: 2.3lbs/1.04kg
Total Weight lost: 6.5lbs/2.95kg
And the 5th WI was:
5th WI -- 21 Oct 08 (Tuesday) since 14 Sept 08
Start weight: 166.4lbs
Weight at 5th WI: 159.8lbs
Weight lost: 0.1lbs/0kg
Total Weight lost: 6.6lbs/2.95kg
Tomor 28 Oct 08 (Tuesday) will be my 6th WI!!!! I have been eating quite alot these days, though I've kept to exercising, so I'm sure I should have gained. Hopefully the gain will not be too significant!
I will need to tightened my efforts on weightloss starting tomor... definately back to my daily 6km runs, no excuses, and definately a staple breakfast of toasted wholemeal sandwiches and a light lunch of cornflakes. Dinner has always been my pitfall, but I will try to cut down on carbohydrates at dinner. And supper! No more suppers for me! Need to increase my fruits intake as well and my water intake.
Keeping my fingers crossed that I will still be able to make my 130lbs goal by 26 Jan 09. That will be approximately 30 lbs in exactly 13 weeks! Wow, consistently 2.3lbs/week. Oh no. That sounds impossible. Oh well, even if it was another 10lbs loss, its still 10lbs right, one step at a time... one step at a time! Don't rush!
Okay! Keep in touch babes, and lets remember to move our butts! Cheers!
On a happier note, I passed my pc test (golf) today!!! And so, I will be receiving my pc card next week! Its great, I really could feel the happiness of success. (haven't felt this way in a long while) After awhile, when you become more proficient at it, it actually felt super wonderful to be able to whack and swing at the golf ball, watching it fly high into the sky. (At night, it looks like shooting stars, its so pretty)
So anyway, for the first few shots, I was so nervous my legs were actually shaking. Hahaha, and my colleagues were laughing so hard at my nervousness. But thank goodness for my practices, my swings were pretty good, and I'm so proud. High and far! Perfect! I think I really have a talent for golf.
So after that, food-wise, it was pretty bad and neither did I go for a jog today. To celebrate our victory, we drove to Zhou's Restuarant in town and had this chinese buffet. It was great (though with each mouthful of food, I felt more and more guilty). And the deserts were superb! I had like 2 servings of deserts, and all that meat and seafood! Yum!
Exercise-wise, besides golf pc test, I didn't move my butt. No jog, no long walks. So I've got to work harder tomorrow!
Emotions wise: Doing fine, general numbness and occassional sobs. But I am a strong beautiful lady, and I will be fine.
I finally got up my guts and just told my parents about the mean things he did. And what can I say, my parents were so supportive and encouraging. Its alittle unlike them haha. I thought they would be all worried and tensed. But really, thats what I need, the assurance that they are behind me all the way, their natural assumption and firm stand that I am gorgeous beautiful smart and will do perfectly great without him. The firm belief in me.
I think throughout my relationship, thats whats thats really missing. My bf's firm belief in me--- he never did. Everything I did, he always undermines it. Nothing I did was ever important to him, nothing I wanted was ever really heard. Throughout, he was just the domineering one, choosing what he wants for me, irregardless of whether i wanted it or not. I've tried standing up for myself, but it just backfires everytime.
Love.... can there be love when there is no belief? Can a person really love something he deemed ugly? He says he loves me, and that he knows everything better than me. But how can a person love and yet still abandon when there is a dispute. What kind of love is that? A conditional love. Thats what it is. A love with conditions. I'm so tired. Really, just drained.
Relationships are to bring out the best in each other isn't it? So why does it seem that the longer it drags, the worse I feel about myself?
Super proud of myself especially since my knee started to feel weird halfway through the run. I think I need to lose somemore weight to lessen the load on my poor knees. 
