spoke too soon!

Well I SAID I had new piccies...EP is not cooperating! Sorry guys will do them when I can!

R xxx

New piccies!

Well, some of you asked for new piccies...so I have put some up.

They were taken tonight..I am still overweight...I suppose I am about halfway there now.

I don't like how I look but it is definitely an improvement!

Anyway...luckily the photos were taken just before we went out to a party. I say luckily, because the buffet was gorgeous and I think I may have been tempted to over-indulge...had I not seen the pictures and known how far I still had to go! As it was I stuck to cold meat and fish with salad.

Anyway..this has been short, I have to go and go to America!! See you all soon and HAVE A WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS!

My hubby was telling me what would be his top diet tips for the holidays and they made a lot of sense so I am going to pop them here -

1. Realise you will have some unhealthy meals. Try to eat healthy ones too, and don't feel bad when you do eat unhealthily - that will just stop you getting back on track. It happens to everyone.

2. Try to limit real 'feasting' to certain meals only, like Christmas lunch.

3. Eat a healthy breakfast, every day. Sort of an insurance policy for lack of nutrients later in the day - and you won't be starving by lunch.

4. Stay active - even just a walk or a game with the family. It will help!

Happy Christmas everyone, whether you are dieting or not!

Rach xxx

I am a Happy Bunny

Hello all! Well, sorry I wasn't on yesterday, it has been a rush getting ready to go away. Just over 24 hours now before we head off to my parents', and then we leave from there for the US.

I decorated the house last night - the first time I have ever done it. Not for us but for my parents, but I like the way it looks. The cat has been enjoying the decorations!

I had been beating myself up because I hadn't lost more weight for Christmas. However...this morning I did my measurements, and I have lost A FULL INCH off my waist in the last 14 days. I am thrilled with that! I have now lost at least 5.5 inches from my waist since I started this - and I didn't even measure myself right at the start. I know I have gone from 38.5 inches to 33 this morning - in six and a half months I am really pleased with that.

Only 1.5 more inches to go, until my waist measurement will be out of the 'at risk' category for heart, diabetes etc.

Calorie cycling isn't going that well! Yesterday I ate 1950 calories instead of 1750.

A pair of trousers I bought for my holiday are still quite snug to say the least...so I am not sure how much to eat over the next couple of days. I would like to say 1500 but I am ravenous already and it is only 7.30am. As long as I come in under 1800, I will be really happy. And as long as I avoid the plane food. I ordered a fruit plate but I am not holding my breath!

Take care, I shall try to come on once more before I leave.

Lots of love and God Bless,

Rach xxx

WHOOPS!

Thanks guys for all your comments on the scales. I think, realistically, I will do the time without them. I think it will be good for me to meet that challenge!

Unlike the 1500 cal challenge...I didn't make day 2 of it today. I did it until 9pm...then bolted down a bowl of pasta. So I made 1900. Still a great two day average. I was pretty hungry!

I shall have 1750 tomorrow as planned! This is going to take some getting used to, but I shall get there in the end. I reckon the worst I can do is try to 'catch up' when I haven't ACTUALLY overeaten.

I didn't do my exercise either! I am going to jump on the treadmill now for a 30 minute walk. (EDITED: I did 15 minutes. I am hoping for a better day tomorrow).

Still, an OK day overall.

Take care,

Rach xxx

Liberated from the scales...so why don't I feel free?

I had my WI today. I stayed the same, despite eating well all week and 5 hours of workouts plus a load of running around. I really hope this new plan helps, because to be honest I was a bit surprised by that result.

Another 1500 calorie day today. I am going to have to be careful. Obviously, after cutting back yesterday for the first time, I am pretty hungry today. So I need to watch things! Once I get through today, I have 1750 cals planned tomorrow.

Well, I have had my last wi before the second week in January. I won't be able to get near scales on my trip (or not ones where I would trust the result).

No weigh ins for nearly 4 weeks. So why don't I feel good?

Well, it is because, unlike for many people, for me the scales have never been an enemy or a saboteur - they have been a great tool.

In the past I have always found it harder to stay on track when I don't know where my weight is. Usually it is because there is no instant record of any problems, occasionally because I will persuade myself I have gained weight when I probably haven't, then try to cut down, then overeat because of that.

It is all the more difficult because the scales are usually not there when I need them most - when my eating and exercise plan is already disrupted.

I am greatly motivated by small successes from day to day. While I do get a great feeling from eating and exercising on plan, seeing the scales drop also gives me a huge boost. The prospect of going without that for a month scares me. In an environment where I cannot be sure of the calories in things, how will I measure my progress? My body measurements are not, at this stage, going to change much over 1 month. So what else will I use?

This time I am also concerned because I have worked hard for this...to look better for my Christmas trip. I didn't get to my goal or anywhere even close despite all my efforts. So if I make more progress before Christmas, I won't know. And how will I stop myself deciding I have undone my progress, even when I haven't?

Lol I am clearly obsessed with the scales!

Also, now I have this new plan I want to know how it is working, so I know if I am wasting my time. I only have until March 29 to fit into my bridesmaid's dress (with a fitting partway through that time), and wasting a whole month of that short period isn't ideal.

HOWEVER...I shall view the upcoming holiday season as a challenge to be met with strength and self-control!

Here is the plan for today for food and exercise:

Breakfast: apple: 80 cals

Lunch: leftover sweet potato, spinach and chickpea curry, brown rice: 556 cals

Dinner: more curry with rice and yogurt. It had to be eaten!: 630 cals

Snack: cottage cheese: 210 cals

Drinks: water

Total calories: 1480 cals

Exercise: 45 minute walk

WHOO HOO I DID IT!

I DID IT! My first day on 1500 calories. I did everything according to plan, even the exercise. The only change was, I switched out a smoothie I was meant to have for some cottage cheese. No calorie difference. Annoyed as it cuts a fruit serving, but then, as decisions made on the spur of the moment when extremely hungry go, it could have been a lot worse .

You EPers are a wonderful bunch, you know that? I have been on here 2 months (and lost 8lb in that time). Having a place to write all my feelings down has helped...but I am now getting to know some of the people and that is giving me the best boost, it is like a multinational support group. I use the ww message boards but am using them less and less often, this fits in better with my life and doesn't have the odd annoying people who come on just to be mean! Well, not as yet!

Anyway, I have done my 1500 day. Something I never thought I would be able to manage - I couldn't have done it six months ago. I feel so in control!

Tomorrow...well, that is another 1500 day. I get more after that! But I now feel I can do tomorrow. I am thinking this will be a bit like when I first started - it will take 3 weeks or so to get used to it and then be plain sailing (well, sort of!). So by New Year, I should be well on track with it.

Rach xxx

Well back with another post

A second post for me today. I need it to get me through my 1500 calorie day (see previous post).

I am already thinking of substituting my smoothies and apple for something like cheese on toast.

Now, I am not going to. The reason I picked those things (apart from health) is that you get a lot for the calories.

I have done my run/walk...I am calling it wogging now like everyone else!

Now, I used to be a runner. I am so not a runner now. I just ran at 7mph for 17.5 minutes at an incline of 1 - not bad. Until you realise it was split into 5 sessions cos I needed a rest and to walk.

However, I shall persevere. I have just discovered my MIL bought a treadmill, so I can keep up my workout when I am staying there for 12 days, I am so thankful for that.

The roads there (West Plains, Missouri) are dangerous to run on - right out in the country with lots of bends and no sidewalk. And I am going to the gym when I am there, but to do weight training. No way is anyone seeing me on the treadmill yet!

Anyway...I can do today. I really can!

Rach xxx

Food/exercise - and job worries

Low day today, 1500 cals. I am filled with trepidation. Since I started this I can count the number of times I have eaten that little in a day on 1 hand, and it has usually been by accident rather than design.

This is what I plan to have:

breakfast: oatmeal made with soya milk: 174 cals

lunch: tuna mayo sandwich on brown bread, apple: 350 cals 80 cals

dinner: sweet potato, spinach and chickpea curry, brown rice: 556 cals

snacks: berry and soya smoothie: 120 cals yogurt, banana and strawberry smoothie: 220 cals

Drinks: water

Total calories: 1500

Exercise: 45 minutes jogging/walking, 30 minutes light weights, 10 minutes stretches.

Right. Well I am determined to come back here tonight and tell you all I did it. So please keep your fingers crossed for me!

Now, I am going to have a whine on here. I shall come back and erase it later, I don't feel comfortable with having loads of personal stuff on here. But I need somewhere to get it out...

I used to be a journalist, after I left uni and got married. Well, I didn't cope well and ended up with anxiety disorder (something I have always been prone to). I was signed off work by my doctor for 1 week...and basically never went back, bar a couple of false starts.

I then planned to take a couple of months off. Well, it has been more than a year now. I needed most of that time, to get better and able to cope, but now...I am so bored!

Now I realise many of the problems I experienced at the paper were down to bad management, I was inexperienced so I thought it was mainly down to me. I also know I could have got pretty much anything I wanted from them - much higher pay, and probably part time hours which would be ideal for me. I also bet they would have let me avoid the 'ambulance chasing' kind of journalism I hated and do features or something. The paper has gone so far downhill since I left, and although I can be self-deprecating, part of me can't help but realise it is because the journalists aren't as good as I was.

However, I have completely burned my bridges there by leaving in such an unprofessional way, then trying to go back and letting them down.

I am meant to be building up my freelance writing and a book I am doing from home, and I am working on it, but not nearly as much as I am wanting to. I find it hard to get motivated - especially as part of me thinks 'I am just wasting my time here'. My OH doesn't think I am wasting my time, and I don't really, but why can't I get started properly?

I am now even thinking of finding a job outside the home in the New Year - tricky as I live in an extremely economically depressed area (Cornwall, UK). I don't think I would be able to find a job paying above £10,000 (about $20,000) for full time, per year. Because those jobs don't exist here. And certainly nothing I won't feel is a waste of my time in the long run.

I am also hampered by the fact I don't have my driver's licence, I have learned to drive but again, the anxiety meant I didn't actually WANT to do it on my own.

I am also worried about managing my home and work - this is one of the things that caused me so much anxiety before. I am such a perfectionist, ironically, I do nothing!

Anyway...I am a bit bogged down, but very aware I am wasting my time and wasting the opportunity to earn some money, which we are going to NEED in the next couple of years.

Something needs to change. I am not sure what!

Grrr! OK moaning over!

Have a lovely day all,

Rach xxx

CHRISTMAS IS HERE!

Well, the holiday season is upon us!

It is my very favourite time of year and I always plan for it - and am generally disappointed. In fact, I would say I have a love/hate attitude to the holidays.

I dream of a 'perfect' Christmas, just like in the movies. I imagine looking stunning in a party dress, sitting opening presents looking rather like a 1950s pin-up in sexy pyjamas, going for walks all wrapped up looking gorgeous in a sweater and boots. The trouble is, that vision stays firmly in my imagination and the actual holiday is something rather less glamorous, involving being self-conscious at parties, opening gifts bleary-eyed, with tangled hair and spots, trousers cutting too deep into a stomach full of about 20 meals (and that is only by 3pm), and having quite a lot of trouble bending over to tie up those walking boots - that's if I haven't fallen asleep in front of the tv.

If I have managed to lose weight for the festive season, I am keen not to blow out too much - but I still seem to end up too tired and bloated to enjoy the parties, and heading into the New Year depressed and KNOWING I am about to waste my (very sparse) cash on ANOTHER unused gym membership.

So, this year, of course, IT WILL BE DIFFERENT.

The first thing to do is decide on a 'Christmas strategy'. I figure, if I have a strategy, I might not stick to it 100 per cent, but I will probably make a lot more good choices.

In the past, I have gone for the strategy of having a certain amount of time 'off' my diet - usually Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day.

Now, this may work for some people. It has never worked for me. Those few days turned into a week, turned into two. And it wasn't going slightly easy on myself. It was full-blown bingeing, every day, so I already felt pretty awful by Christmas Day and things got worse from there on out. After all, people with a healthy BMI gain on average 1lb in December - and they consider that they are 'blowing out'. People who were already slimming, gain between 3lb and 1 stone, and in some cases even more.

This year, I am sticking to my plan the whole way through. This isn't as bad as it sounds, because I actually don't like overeating any more, I don't eat sugar (which is where most of my Christmas calories came from), and I have ALREADY done one Christmas party where I stuck firmly to my calorie limit and still enjoyed myself. If I have done one, I can do more!

I will be in the US for 12 days over Christmas, eating completely different things than usual. I have already made a 'holiday calorie list' to take with me, with calories in festive food and the healthiest choices I would actually like to eat from restaurants we usually visit.

I am determined to eat at least 2 very healthy meals each day. OH and I are going to prepare our own breakfasts, lunches and snacks - because I already know if I cut back on the nutritious stuff, I become ravenously hungry very quickly.

I am sticking to my average 1750 calories per day.

Of course, I may end up underestimating what I have eaten (because I am NOT going to fall into the trap of overestimating and then being starving) - so OH and I have pledged to exercise for 1hour a day while we are there, joining the local gym and walking lots.

If I do accidentally go over, I won't try and make up the calories, I will just start afresh the following day.

So...there is my Christmas strategy! Does everyone else have theirs ready?

Rach xxx

Right, time for a REAL diet!

Well, after six and a half months of healthy eating at 2000 cals per day, during which time I have lost 36lb, I have decided I need to cut back if I plan to lose more than 1lb a week, which is about what my losses have slowed to.

I know 1lb a week is fine, I also know at a lower weight, I can eat a bit over 2000 cals per day to maintain...but I am going to be a bridesmaid in March and am trying for a baby, so I would like to be losing 1.5-2lb a week for a while.

Now, I am going to eat an average of about 1750 calories per day, I have worked out that should cut my calories enough to burn an extra half a pound or so of fat each week.

I am going to have a couple of higher and lower days, I don't want to leave myself without the option of going back up to 2000 cals to maintain if I want to.

So...here's to 1.5-2lb per week! I hope!

Food and exercise for today (high day):

breakfast: oatmeal made with soya milk, mixed seeds, apple

lunch: brown pasta, bacon, onion, garlic, tomato, parmesan

dinner: brown rice pilaf, pine nuts, carrots, broccoli, mayo, cheese (it was meant to be stuffed squash but I picked so much at the leftover filling, I ran out of calories for the actual squash!)

snack: soya and berry smoothie

drinks: water

total calories: 2000

exercise: 45 minute walk

general activity: housecleaning etc

*DIET POINT FOR TODAY*

Don't treat yourself like a dustbin!

I don't eat bacon. I just don't. I had some in for my parents visiting and they didn't eat it, and it had to be used up. So over the last two days we have eaten it. Unsmoked, fat removed, could be worse...but yuck I feel so unhealthy! So not worth it - should have stuck it in the bin.