Well, today hasn't gone too badly. I have got a bit of everything done. Plus I finally did a word count on my book - 38,000. I am intending it to be around 70,000 so I am more than halfway there. It gets much harder from here on in...but I am trying to look on the bright side!
I am also pleased with my measurements. I started with a 44 inch bust, a 38 inch waist and I THINK 43 inch hips...now those measurements are 39-33-39. Still big...but an improvement!
Here is food and exercise for today. I am relishing getting my 2000 calories while I can! Once I find out the final date of my bridesmaid's dress fitting, I shall be cutting down quite dramatically for the week before it. Got to do something to avoid the end of a lovely friendship!
Here is the food and exercise for today:
Breakfast: sugar free apricot nut muffins, orange juice
Lunch: 2 brown pittas with chicken, tomatoes and light mayo
And a lot of that gain was water...I am down 2lb this morning. Still 1.5lb up, but that isn't as bad as 3.5!
However...less good news is today I overslept by half an hour. Probably because I thought I was awake - I had dreamt the whole morning, filled with stress - not much different from a normal morning.
Still, I don't plan to let it faze me.
I have got up, fed the cat, fed myself and read the day's portion of my One Year Bible.
I am quite behind...but I am still on here which I should not be!
I am in my workout gear so I plan to do a bit of cleaning, do an aerobics DVD (I am already wearing the clothes...come on...I can do it!).
Then I need to shower, do some WORK and head off to the post office.
I can already feel that I am not going to do this stuff. The ww message boards are calling to me!
Eek! Will be back later...I hope to be able to report I have actually done something. I have spent the last year of my life doing very little because I have been off sick. Now I am stuck with my book!
Thankyou so much to Katy and HarryJsMummy for your comments. Both of them were very helpful and really made me think!
Lately I have had several sessions of overeating - binge eating really - which used to be standard for me. I don't enjoy them!
And my graph has definitely started wibbling more! I hadn't realised my habits had changed since I started this, but they have.
For the first 30 pounds or so, my weight didn't go up at any point really and I lost fast. I thought it was just because I was starting. Well, now I'm not so sure. I didn't have overeating sessions every couple of weeks then the way I do now. I think I have persuaded myself doing so is OK as I can work them into my diet OK and still lose weight.
But it has slowed my losses - and also the sessions are becoming more frequent. I am running the risk of using food again for something it really isn't meant to be used for - stress relief and, I am ashamed to say, entertainment.
So...a nice fresh effort now! I am very keen to be in the 11 stone bracket (that sounds so SLIM to me, even though for me it isn't really). And I want my graph to be smooth again.
11 stone 13 is 167 pounds. Not long to go (it definitely wasn't long to go until a couple of days ago grrr!)
So here I go! Thanks ladies!
Food today: well, I didn't eat very well! sugar free breakfast muffins (they have all wholesome ingredients, but that doesn't mean you should eat five of them now does it?), orange juice, a foot long meatball sub...that is 1650 cals, I shall no doubt weed out something else for 350 cals before I head to bed, I am not a girl to leave her calories wasted!
(edited: I had a brown pitta with lemon and coriander houmous)
I know why...a big overeating session which probably gave my body a big shock.
Why did I do it? Why am I less than confident I won't do it again? I have a bridesmaid's dress fitting in just a week or two when I seriously doubt the dress will be anywhere near fitting. The wedding is on March 29. The dress can't be reordered. I feel sick with worry and so angry with myself and with life!
I am really down with this today. I know it is only 3.5lb, and I know it will be off again soon, but I feel bloated and depressed.
Ah well...onwards and upwards. Or downwards, preferably!
You will notice that doesn't say food and exercise. Because I did no exercise. AGAIN!
Well, here is the food:
breakfast: oatmeal made with soya milk, chopped mixed nuts, dried apricots
lunch: brown rice, veg, black eyed beans, guacamole
dinner: quorn and veg goulash, potatoes
snacks: orange juice, soya and berry smoothie, brown pitta with reduced fat houmous
drinks: water
multivitamin, fish oil, evening primrose oil
Total calories: 2000
A pretty good day food wise. Still feeling very shaky after yesterday and trying to keep out of 'what if' mode. (You know: If I had stuck to it, how much better would today have been and next week etc etc etc').
For a long time, doing what I am doing, was enough. Well, now it is not enough to have good days like this, if I am still bingeing on occasion. The bingeing is wiping out too much of what I am achieving. If I want to be healthy, I have to stop. It puts my body/cholesterol level/mood etc under too much strain.
I overate last night REALLY badly. I know why - I had done few of the things I wanted to get done. After a few weeks away from my routine (something I have always found it hard to hold onto anyway), I am really struggling with the guilt that comes with not doing much of what I had planned.
Earlier in the week, I resisted the urge, last night, I did not.
So I am no longer at my lowest weight ever.
I need to deal with the part of me that still thinks sometimes, if I go slightly over my calorie limit, I might as well keep on going. I need not have gained weight, it is ridiculous that a person can overeat so much in a day that they really undo quite a lot of hard work.
I have reached a lowest weight record! Not ever, but since I sorted myself out! I weighed in this morning at 172lb, a loss of 1.5lb in 3 weeks which is amazing after what I ate in the US (Taco Bell x 3, Burger King, Sonic x 3, Chinese buffet x 2, steakhouse, Dairy Queen, seafood buffet, Olive Garden, Chilis, Denny's...) I could go on. I could also mention the Christmas lunch and the meals my in-laws cooked! And the chocolates!
However, I was very active (busy dawn till late night, MIL has a top-notch treadmill too), and I did eat under 2000 cals for 1 week out of the 2 anyway!
Also, my food addiction has abated, especially to sugar. I didn't feel any urge to eat Krispy Kremes (a previous trigger food), even when faced with a great pile of them at a breakfast buffet. I actually WANTED the choices that were better for me. When I ate healthy foods, I felt great and in control and happy and enjoyed them more than when I went off my plan. I also felt more satisfied even though my stomach wasn't so full. Also, there is something very treat like about steak, salmon, sushi...more so than the enjoyment I get from 3 yeast rolls and a chocolate brownie.
I learned I can live and eat in the US, and on holiday, really happily and stick to my calorie count even when eating out every meal in a day.
I also learned from bitter experience that fast food is NOT a lunch that will fill you up till dinner time! From now on I will have 1 taco and something healthy : )
I was so impressed by all the things available at restaurants in the US since I was there last. With my steak I got a baked sweet potato and steamed veg. And so many places offered egg whites and sugar free items. I had a LOT of sugar free chocolates as there were many more varieties available in the US.
I could now happily go months without seeing a chocolate though, I am sick of them, which is a first!
Since getting home I have found it pretty easy to get back on track. I had a moment in the airport on the way back where I thought ' I can't do this. My addiction to food is back in control'. I had had all my baddies - added sugar, caffeine, alcohol, even a few puffs on a cigarette (which turned my stomach after so long).
But it turns out old - or in my case newer - habits die hard. Back in familiar surroundings, I was able to struggle through and get back on track without too much trouble. And when I feel like overeating, I think 'well, it is up to me to choose how I live today and whether I will be happy or miserable.' It isn't a hard choice really. I think I like myself better than I used to!
I am on 2000 calories, my only real rules are none of my 'baddies', no added salt, and I have six portions of fruit or veg a day. I am still doing a lot of my other rules as well, but not deliberately - they are just a habit and how I enjoy eating now. No doubt I will want to improve later - but I decided the New Year can be depressing enough, without being mean to myself with unrealistic expectations. In my opinion there is nothing worse than a resolution so overwhelming it leaves you feeling terrible in January! Small steps have always been what work for me.
I do want to get back into the swing of exercise - didn't do any today except housework.
I only have 2 more pounds to go till I have lost 40lb so that is my next mini target.
Meals today:
breakfast: soya milk, mixed berry and nut smoothie
well phew today was a toughie! I really wanted to overeat, for emotional reasons - I had stuff I had left undone, and instead of do it, I wanted to reach for food to damp down those feelings.
Well...I didn't do the stuff. But I didn't eat either. And that was pretty hard. So well done me lol. And the washing up will just have to wait till tomorrow ; )
Watched a SCARY movie tonight - Room 1408. Ok, so it was a bit anticlimactic...aren't most horror movies? But I was so scared at the start I thought I'd have to turn it off lol.
Anyway...it is pretty late, so goodnight guys and lots of love and God Bless you all,
Hello everybody. How are you? I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and are enjoying the New Year.
I am back after a few weeks in the US and at my parents' house. I had a wonderful time.
Diet wise, I had about a week and a half of being an absolute angel, and a week of being completely off the rails.
I think I lost a lot of weight in the week and a half - my clothes were much looser - and then put it all back on, so I stayed the same overall. The fact I didn't gain weight overall is completely amazing to me - I am not really sure how it happened. I did run on my MIL's treadmill 3 times and I was pretty busy running around, shopping etc.
I am rather annoyed with myself as I felt so bloated and ill for a lot of my trip...but I am back on track now. And at least I got to try out lots of restaurants to see what was new since I was there last ; )
I am back on 2000 calories as my time off seems to have given my metabolism a bit of a boost.
Anyway, I am looking forward to hearing all your news.
Also, has anyone had trouble posting new pictures lately? I just can't get mine to work.
xxx