08/30/2009 12:22
Hmmm no title in mind
Well, I did not manage to stick to the reduced calories to make up for my day of going over. I was absolutely starving, and starving with twins in your belly is pretty insistent!
I decided to take the going-over day as one of my off days, not ideal but not too bad. Since then, I have been properly back on track.
I've realised that since I went away for the weekend again I have not been eating properly...not enough fruit and veggies. So I had a couple of pieces of fruit last night before bed, and am doing well so far today.
It's getting really hard to eat, to be honest. I still have an upset stomach and it feels like there is not room in there to fit a full meal, especially something healthy. I split my calories into 6 or 7 small meals a day but it doesn't work much better.
I had oatmeal with raisins and pecans in it for breakfast, and it was such a struggle. You know how they always tell you to eat more slowly and focus on what you are eating so you don't overdo it?
Well, for me at the minute, it is just the opposite - I have to not think too hard and just shovel it in, and recover later! This morning, I made the fatal mistake of stopping for two minutes in the middle of the oatmeal to chat to my hubby - and the fullness kicked in!
Ah well, I imagine by the end I will be on those concentrated drinks for sick people!
With twins on the way, I have to eat at least 2600 calories per day. It should be more, because I was overweight before so my basic calorie needs are more than 2000.
Even on 2600, I still sometimes feel like I have no glycogen stores left. My legs hurt when I climb the stairs and I get horrible low blood sugar.
When I am breastfeeding, I will have to eat 3000 a day to produce enough milk.
Honestly, if you had told me I would be eating this much beforehand, I would have thought I had died and gone to heaven!
However, I have come to realise my binge eating disorder actually has nothing to do with how much or little I can eat.
The key - the trigger that enables me to use the food to feel less stressed - is the act of going OVER my limit, whatever that limit is. Only by consciously breaking the rules of normality can I switch off and tell myself I can just start afresh and sort life out later.
The wonderful thing this pregnancy has taught me is that, to me, there is no actual intrinsic value in being able to eat a lot of food when I am not bingeing. Yes, sometimes the way our society is set up can make it hard to stick within your limit, because the actual food contains so many calories that a small serving will more than fulfil our needs - going for a curry springs to mind - but there isn't actually any particular pleasure to me in eating more rather than less.
Maybe for a rare 3-course meal, but not in general. Food isn't that fun when you are full and it doesn't feel good sitting in your stomach afterwards. The body, when you focus on it, is set up to feel best on what it really needs.
I always thought life would be better if I could just eat more and still be slim, but it was just the lure of the forbidden.
Hopefully that is a lesson I can keep with me after I stop breastfeeding and am back to 2000 calories ^_^.
Rach xxx
I decided to take the going-over day as one of my off days, not ideal but not too bad. Since then, I have been properly back on track.
I've realised that since I went away for the weekend again I have not been eating properly...not enough fruit and veggies. So I had a couple of pieces of fruit last night before bed, and am doing well so far today.
It's getting really hard to eat, to be honest. I still have an upset stomach and it feels like there is not room in there to fit a full meal, especially something healthy. I split my calories into 6 or 7 small meals a day but it doesn't work much better.
I had oatmeal with raisins and pecans in it for breakfast, and it was such a struggle. You know how they always tell you to eat more slowly and focus on what you are eating so you don't overdo it?
Well, for me at the minute, it is just the opposite - I have to not think too hard and just shovel it in, and recover later! This morning, I made the fatal mistake of stopping for two minutes in the middle of the oatmeal to chat to my hubby - and the fullness kicked in!
Ah well, I imagine by the end I will be on those concentrated drinks for sick people!
With twins on the way, I have to eat at least 2600 calories per day. It should be more, because I was overweight before so my basic calorie needs are more than 2000.
Even on 2600, I still sometimes feel like I have no glycogen stores left. My legs hurt when I climb the stairs and I get horrible low blood sugar.
When I am breastfeeding, I will have to eat 3000 a day to produce enough milk.
Honestly, if you had told me I would be eating this much beforehand, I would have thought I had died and gone to heaven!
However, I have come to realise my binge eating disorder actually has nothing to do with how much or little I can eat.
The key - the trigger that enables me to use the food to feel less stressed - is the act of going OVER my limit, whatever that limit is. Only by consciously breaking the rules of normality can I switch off and tell myself I can just start afresh and sort life out later.
The wonderful thing this pregnancy has taught me is that, to me, there is no actual intrinsic value in being able to eat a lot of food when I am not bingeing. Yes, sometimes the way our society is set up can make it hard to stick within your limit, because the actual food contains so many calories that a small serving will more than fulfil our needs - going for a curry springs to mind - but there isn't actually any particular pleasure to me in eating more rather than less.
Maybe for a rare 3-course meal, but not in general. Food isn't that fun when you are full and it doesn't feel good sitting in your stomach afterwards. The body, when you focus on it, is set up to feel best on what it really needs.
I always thought life would be better if I could just eat more and still be slim, but it was just the lure of the forbidden.
Hopefully that is a lesson I can keep with me after I stop breastfeeding and am back to 2000 calories ^_^.
Rach xxx