If you keep doing the same old things...
...you'll get the same old results.
Why is it so hard for me to realise that?
I decided to get back on track with WW Online five days ago. But I haven't stuck to my Points on a single day since. In fact, I would say I have gone spectacularly over my Points.
Now, there are mitigating circumstances, and I shall duly credit myself with those. My parents have been visiting, so I have been cooking a lot and we have been out for two meals. Also, although I haven't stuck to Points, I haven't binged as such - I haven't thought 'oh well, I've blown it,' and eaten four portions of everything.
But when a day involves cheese for breakfast, a pub lunch of goat's cheese salad, garlic bread and your husband's fries, a snack of chocolates and cheese and a dinner of seafood pasta, chocolate cake and ice cream, you should be worried.
Last night, when my parents had left for home after another pub lunch, I ate a supper of soup and a roll. An hour or two later, I was still hungry. I went into the kitchen to grab a pear and found myself putting on the pan for some pasta, which I ate topped with a generous serving of grated cheese.
I reckon there were about 900 calories in that. It took 10 minutes to cook. 10 minutes during which I had many, many opportunities to change my mind - even had the desire to - but blocked all of it out. It took about five minutes to eat, and I didn't enjoy any of it.
My desire for instant gratification is huge and powerful. It was 9.30 when I made the pasta. I went to bed at 11. The hours I was asleep don't really count, so what I realised even at the time was that I was choosing a small amount of gratification now over the immense pleasure I could feel basically an hour and a half later when I stepped on the scales.
But I still ate it.
To make matters worse, on some level I actually expected to wake up this morning and have lost weight. Errr...how exactly?
It's like when I was a kid and I used to pray my hair would grow ten inches overnight. Or my late homework would miraculously have been done for me and left in a neat pile on my desk.
Except now, I am an adult. I have, as they say, put away childish things. At least in theory.
As an adult, I should be aware that if I don't change my behaviour, my weight is never going to change. Well something has gone wrong, because while technically I know this...somehow at the same time I still don't quite get it.
Ah well, I shall have another go today!
Love Rach xxx 