I'm taking that control, then
Roight, then, ladies and gents.
Time to SORT OUT MY BLUMMIN LIFE 
.
Here is why:
There are only so many times you can make and break promises to yourself before you have absolutely zero trust in yourself. And that means misery, self-hatred, and no hope at all.
If we make promises to ourselves, we need to work a little bit harder at keeping them - by at least taking baby steps towards carrying out our plans and achieving our goals.
I have been doing this for the last 14 months and I have come so, so far.
But lately, I have been breaking a lot of the promises I have made to myself.
And the result?
To make myself feel better, I have tried to redress the situation by making more and more extravagant promises.
And that won't work.
Because if we are going to keep most of our promises to ourselves, we have to be very, very careful about the promises we actually make.
We owe it to ourselves to take careful consideration of exactly what we will and will not expect of ourselves.
Example - at some point, I am sure almost all of us have sat down at the weekend and made a shopping list, with meals carefully planned out for the whole week. This week, we assure ourselves, we are going to make up for all those ready meals we used over the last seven days. This week, we are going to be a domestic goddess.
It all feels really good at the time. Really hopeful.
But when we get to Tuesday night, we are already completely knackered from two days at the office or taking care of our home and family.
Suddenly, creating bruschetta/Delia's roast veg lasagne/homemade muffins from scratch doesn't seem like such a manageable prospect after all.
We try to persuade ourselves to have a go, but in the end we throw up our hands, switch on the soaps and dial for a pizza.
Which, on the scale of dietary/financial/goddessy transgressions, is a lot worse than a microwave chicken tikka.
And then we feel we have failed.
But we can't bear to think about that. So we immediately make all these plans to do even better next Tuesday...we'll gather up our willpower, and make that meal, and maybe even sort out the spare room cupboard as well.
But perhaps what we should be doing is having a good hard think about what has happened, instead of pretending it didn't happen at all. We could learn from this experience and accept we are not a failure, we are just human beings with reasonable limits. Next Tuesday night, maybe we'd be better planning a jacket potato and salad.
Of course, we don't do it. So we end up dialling the takeaway every Tuesday for the next year.
The same sort of sorry story often applies to dieting. If we can't stick with 1500 calories one day, why on earth do we plan to eat 1000 the next day to make up for it?
We won't do it. We will be miserable.
We will end up saying 'I'll start tomorrow' for the 365th time next New Year's Eve.
We will really mean it, but that doesn't mean anything.
It is crazy.
Imagine the things you might say - probably have said - to a friend who is caught up in this kind of cycle. We would not want them to be so hard on themselves. We would know they were setting themselves up for failure.
So why do we set different standards for the most important person in our world - ourselves?
Ahem. Anyway.
This is a week to take control and start keeping a few promises. Because what is the alternative? Seriously. Think about it. Where will we be in a year?
I am making some promises to myself today for the next week.
I won't get it perfect. I won't meet all of the goals I set myself. I hate that, and it scares me, but I might as well admit it now and get it out of the way.
Perfect is not a part of this world. It is never, ever going to be a part of us. Even if we meet our goals, we won't be satisfied. We will think of new goals.
That constant drive for self-improvement is just part of being a human being. What we need to do is harness it for our own good, use it, but not allow it to control us.
Anyway. At the moment, calorie counting is not working very well for me. I am not enjoying feeling restricted in the amount of food I 'can' eat. And I obviously know I can eat more, because I do. I took the plunge and weighed in - have a look at my chart 
. I have regained 10.25 pounds and now have just over 3 stone (43 pounds) to lose.
So I am going on a detox - for one month from today, until August 30th.
This will sound worse than it is - this is actually how I used to eat for years, how I like to eat when I am not all sugared/caffeined/cheesed up.
So, for me, it isn't an unrealistic promise. It is a promise to set me free (cue soppy music and puking noises).
I can eat as much as I like from the following list of foods:
any vegetables except regular potatoes
any fruit
any beans and pulses
brown rice
oats
quinoa
other wholegrains that aren't wheat or bread
soy milk
soy yogurt (unflavoured)
fruit smoothies and juices I have made myself
dips like houmous and guacamole I have made myself
olive oil
vinegar
lemon juice
black pepper
herbs and spices
tomato paste
dried fruit
nuts
seeds
water
fruit and herbal teas
Yum. I am looking forward to this already. I am really looking forward to not having calorie limits so I just don't have to think about it.
It makes me laugh because if I had tried to promise myself this a year ago, it would not have been realistic. At that time, I was so addicted to sugar it was crazy. All I could promise myself was to go a day without it, and that was hell.
So I have come a long way!
I have also made a new budget today. One that is actually reasonable enough that I can stick to it and enjoy life. One that actually takes account of what money I have, not what money I want. (Yeah, by the way, that really doesn't work ).
I also want to apply for some jobs in NHS administration today (that's hospital admin for those who don't live in Britain).
I also want to book a haircut and eyebrow wax. I have a wedding to go to on Saturday and at the moment I look a bit like a yeti .
I do have a lot of other things I want to get under control. But that is enough for one day, I think! Whatever else happens, happens.
So, today, take good care of yourself, be kind with what you promise yourself, and work on being nice to yourself. Have a bath, watch a movie, heck, have a facial if you have more money/more time/less scary clothes on than me.
Lots of love, Rach xxx 