'Take control'?

So...hmmm...an interesting thought.

Someone just told me if I don't have the things I want in life, it is my own fault. She told me to 'TAKE CONTROL' of my life and go out and get the things I want.

Now, on some level, I know she is right. I don't keep my promises to myself a lot of the time.

But my first thought was 'Take control? I can't. I just can't do that.' Followed swiftly by 'It's not my fault, not really.'

I can make a great list of the things that make it so hard for me to 'take control'. My upbringing, my depression, my anxiety disorder, my perfectionism....I could go on and on.

So...what I have been trying to do is work on those things, bit by bit, to improve how I face the world. I have been doing that. It has been slow, but I have been doing it.

And now my friend has said to me I have a choice. I can start now, plan what I am going to do, and do it.

And I feel helpless when faced with that.

But I have had the same dreams for the last five years. And, though I would say hand on heart I have tried my hardest every single day, all I have seen over the last five years is those dreams recede further and further, so some of them are now impossible and it doesn't feel like I will ever achieve the rest.

So? Should I be able to 'take control'? Am I simply weak? Is it all my own fault? Am I way too easy on myself?

Hmmm...just some thoughts for me to mull over.

I know!!

Taking control IS very hard. And soooo scary, too. Take tiny baby steps towards it, changing a detail every time and you WILL get there!

Big hugs!

That depends

I've been reading your blog for quite some time now.  And it seems that you are indeed working on all aspects of your life.  And you have set backs just like anybody else.  Yes, I think sometimes we are too easy on ourselves and sell ourselves short.  But I'm also a realist in the sense that there are things out of our control.  We can't control everything.  We can control how we react to things.  Lots of stuff to think about though.  And only you know the true answers.

Oh,

If only it were that easy ...  but yes, I do believe you can do it.  I did, and if I can - you can!  Yeah OK, I know that sucks, but there's an element of truth in it.  I've had seven piles of sh!t over the last year and something snapped inside of me, on one particular day - and it was the day that I was pissed, overwrought and upset over nothing really (the state of my marriage, money, me, whatever I could think of ...) and a friend said to me "It's your life, it's up to you to live it".  I thought it was pretty harsh at the time, but when I woke up in the morning I took a long hard look at myself and decided that yes, I could do it.  So - I made the changes that made it easier for me (giving up booze, avoiding social situations where alcohol was involved) and started moving my butt.   So far, so good!

Fingers crossed that you do find your triggers somehow - t'ain't easy though I know!!

one step at a time

i know the feeling! and it is very hard to take  control of your life and make it the life you want to be. and very easy to put obstacles in the way. But if you break down into small steps it will be a whole lot less daunting