Rach's Tuesday
Stealing a little from Raspberry there, sorry! I am not feeling imaginative enough to come up with my own title today. Bodes well for the rest of the blog 
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Soooo....ladies, sometimes we are a bit silly, right?
For example: my parents have a 1970s party coming up this weekend. It is their 30th wedding anniversary. I have been trawling through vintage sites online, and found one I love. I ordered two dresses - the one I really like, and a backup. Why do I need a backup? Because the one I like is a couple of inches too small. But I ordered it anyway in case it *magically* fits.
Anyone else this daft? I expect so!
But I want to look nice. I will be seeing lots of my parents' friends for the first time since I 'got fat'. I know how it goes - they sort of look you up and down in an odd way. This is NOT my imagination. And some of them always have to mention weight, you know?
But I shall take a deep breath and tell myself 'what does it matter what they think? They are no better than me'. The important thing is being there for my parents. And the cocktails.
Then I called up to book an announcement in the paper for my parent's anniversary. 'Around £60' they wanted to charge me! £60!
The woman, who was really snotty, started on about how she couldn't tell me exactly how much it would be - it 'depends how it fits on the page'. I said to her 'I can see selling advertising that way, but not announcements. They are all the same size after all.' (I didn't mention advertisers wouldn't put up with that).
She gave this huge sigh and launched into a spiel she had obviously used many thousands of times before: 'In newspapers...'
I didn't have the energy to tell her I am a journalist, and have set many thousands of pages myself. I also thought she probably wouldn't appreciate it.
I just said no. But I am disappointed and feel kind of guilty not to be able to do that for my parents. But that is just more money than I feel comfortable spending.
I ate really well yesterday, healthily and within my daily calorie limit.
Naturally, it wasn't quite good enough for me - but it was my out-of-control perfectionism that got me into this mess, so I need to see it for what it is - something negative!
I don't feel great about my long-term prospects for doing this, but hey, one day at a time. I planned out all my food for today and I have to say it sounds yummy (I just went to the store).
Ok, that's all folks, see you soon.
Lots of love R xxx