Goals for Year 2 : )
So, I promised to write about where I am at the end of Year 1, in more concrete terms.
Well, overall I am delighted with my progress this year.
The health of my diet has seriously improved. I could count on my ten fingers the number of times I have eaten any added sugar this year. So it should be reducing my average for all the other years to about the level of Dawn French in the Vicar of Dibley. Excellent.
I could count on one hand the number of times I have had any caffeine. Good job. It turns me into a monster.
I have probably eaten red meat ten times at the most.
Almost all my carbs are now wholegrain, I eat protein and carbs at every meal, I drink almost exclusively water, I eat piles of fruit and veg of all colours - most of the time.
I get plenty of good fats. I don't add salt. I eat enough beans to provide an alternative gas source for the entire planet.
On the other hand...my mayo addiction continues unabated. It is light mayo...but I am not sure that counts when you get through half a jar in a meal. Well, maybe not quite that much. Perhaps a third of a jar 
.
And for those of you who already know about it, my long-running war with cheese is still in its messy stages.
If I had to estimate the amount of cheese I ate over the past year, I would put it somewhere near this:
Well, maybe slightly more than that .
In fitness, I have gone from couch potato struggling to climb one flight of stairs in the car park to regular gym bunny. Home gym bunny, anyway. Aerobics, walking, weights, not to mention being generally much more active with housework and gardening and just getting out and about more as my depression abates. I have even started back running. Ok, it is far from my teenaged six mile extravaganzas, but I have reached the end of Week 2 of C25K and I am loving it.
So...goals for the next few months?
Well, as we all know, sticking with the same food and fitness regimes for long is a surefire recipe for boredom and stagnation. I have done my fair share of coasting over the past year, but I always have better moods and better results if I am pushing myself.
So....food. I want to keep pushing up the nutritional value and balance of what I eat. There is still a lot of room for improvement. I love the taste of healthy foods, and I love the way I feel when I eat them. But change takes time...so expect me to keep forging ahead with this, setting mini goals and smashing my way through them. Well, half-heartedly bashing at them from time to time, anyway.
My biggest goal...to stop bingeing for good. Or at least for the vast, vast majority of the time. I had a binge the other day. It was completely pointless. I went to a friend's house for lunch and there were no carbs. I could have asked for some bread...but no, instead I waited till I got home, stressed from being out all day, and ravenous, and headachey...and completely fiending for some ice cream. Sugary ice cream. Which I proceeded to eat...with some apple crumble I had made for my hubbby without using Splenda. And left in the fridge in full view.
Ladies and gents, you would think I would know better than that, by now, wouldn't you?
And then, of course, I started thinking (never a good idea if you are me). 'Well, I have overeaten now. I am going to be up on the scale whatever. And if I stop now, what is to stop me doing this again tomorrow...so (logic circuits firing well here), I will have a massive blowout, and then tomorrow I will start again, being extra strict.'
You know, I think those words 'start again' are the most dangerous words in existence to anyone who is working on changing their life.
Because there is no 'start again'. There is just life. You are never going to feel happy and whole if you plan to spend time behaving in a way that goes against who you are, and then pretend it never happened, it didn't count.
Anyway, I didn't enjoy overeating. I wasn't hungry and I didn't need anything else from that food, that I hadn't learned - torturously - to get from other ways of relaxing and taking care of myself.
Of course, I did just wake up and take it in my stride. I got right back on track with my normal eating the next day. Because those days of super-lows after overeating, leading to a three day binge fest, are behind me.
But when I got ready for my run, and saw my swollen tummy in the mirror, it hit me.
I have let myself down. I have harmed myself. And why? Because I DON'T NEED THIS ANYMORE. I used to need it. But now, I am just making excuses. I am just scared to try something new.
So my new plan? I am not going to turn around and say 'I shall never overeat again.' The stress that would bring would only lead me faster to a fall that was inevitable anyway.
I can overeat, if it comes down to it. But I don't want to binge unless I really can't stop myself. An extra 300 calories? Fine. An extra 3000? Why do it?
Of course, I don't want the extra 300 calories to become a regular thing. So I am going to have to trust myself to make appropriate decisions as I go along - rather than trying to stick to a plan I made three weeks ago, when I had no idea what today would be like.
Finally, fitness. I am delighted with how far I have come. But this is the year I plan to become super-fit. Of course, I may become injured. I may have a baby. I leave that in God's hands. But my current plan is to keep going with what I enjoy. Because I no longer exercise just to look better.
So...running - I am planning to get my 5K time below 30 minutes, and then enter a 5K run. And then a 10K. And then a half-marathon. I am taking my running from the treadmill to the streets, with my hubby.
And I am getting out of the living room and into the free gym at my husband's work for some proper weight-training.
The outdoor hiking I want to continue, walking the coast path.
I want to get my ass in a swimming pool for the first time in two and a half years!
And, in the name of all that is good, I am finally going to learn to do one sodding push-up, darnit!
So that is my plan! Stick with me as I work on it - no doubt with many small setbacks and...even smaller triumphs. But they add up, they add up.
Love and blessings, Rach xxx 
