Day 3/28 report (hugely long and depressing!)

Today's blog is just one complaining rant, so apologies to anyone reading this, I just want to get it all out!

Today has just been vile.

This morning, I got up and walked for 90 minutes. I did it on my treadmill because I couldn't be bothered to go outside. It was so, so boring. I know I should be grateful I have a treadmill, and I am, but urgh!

Then I found out the new car we were supposedly getting today (oh, and yesterday, and the day before, and the day before that) had fallen through again. The guy was being pretty assy about it, but I am thinking maybe there was a misunderstanding between him and my husband. I am still upset though.

We don't actually have a vehicle now because of this, and we live in the middle of nowhere, so we have borrowed (and only semi-officially) a 13-seater minibus from my husband's work. Any Brits can probably imagine the fun on a tiny housing estate and on winding Cornish country lanes.

Whoops! I clicked 'submit' by mistake and now I have to edit it...I hope you all with Google Reader still get the rest...

Anyway, we now feel pressured to buy a new car, and rush it, and on a Sunday too...not the best recipe when we are on a low budget and really don't have the spare cash if it turns out to be unreliable. I bet we are going to end up spending more than we planned.

I got so stressed I really took it out on my husband, yelled at him because sorting out a new car was allocated as his job, and he left it till the last minute. But really I just wanted someone to yell at to kind of make sense of it to myself and calm myself down?

Then I went to the dentist for a consult on cosmetic dentistry (I have fluorosis and am really self-conscious about it). He rushed me so much, I was in there maybe 5 minutes max and he charged me £15.

He basically made me feel like crap. I pointed out what I wanted, and then he told me everything else wrong with my teeth and how they 'make my face look really unbalanced'. Basically that I would be really pretty if it weren't for my teeth.

I am not stupid. I know they are a mess (you can't really tell in the photos cos I picked the ones where they looked least bad!). But I can't afford £5100 to fix them, and you know I can't, so what is the point making me feel so crap?

I had PMS....as soon as I got into the waiting room and saw my hubby, I burst into tears. And basically carried on in fits and starts all afternoon.

I keep wishing I sorted it years ago...I know now even if I have the cheapest stuff done, it will be ages before it is completed.

I am a perfectionist so I hate feeling crap and I am just beating myself up and beating myself up.

Then I had to get an eyebrow wax, shop, go looking at cars, garden...by then I was just done with seeing people and was so over-stimulated. In the end I went to bed for an hour just to calm down.

I am totally stressed out about this, about money, about work...AAARGH.

I know I need to get it in perspective, it is the perfectionism and anxiety disorder that are making me feel this bad, along with a healthy dose of low self-esteem. I am praying about it.

Writing this helped a lot.

Anyway, Day 3/28 went well.

Food:

Breakfast: muesli, yogurt, berry smoothie

Lunch: homemade guacamole, brown rice, onions, black eyed beans, brown pitta bread, 85% cocoa dark chocolate - a lot of food, and sugary which is against the rules, but I was hungry after my long walk.

Snack: 2 plums. They were fabulous. I love gorgeous, healthy food.

Dinner: brown pasta with lentil and veg sauce, raw spinach

Total calories: 1975

Exercise:

1.5 hours brisk treadmill walking, incline 3. Stretches. My legs get a day off in tomorrow's workout, they really need it!

Appearance:

Lame! I exfoliated my face..big deal...but if I do it more regularly, that is a pass.

General:

Pretty good for a weekend. Apart from that nap, I have been busy all day and it doesn't show any sign of stopping. I really need to send an important financial email tomorrow and I have been putting it off...if I don't do it, I am counting tomorrow as a fail!

Ok, will love you and leave you, preferably until I have got the PMS out of my system!

Happy losing and God Bless.

Rach xxx  25/28 days to go!

They make you pay...?

... for a consultation appointment like that?  Is there another dentist you can get another opinion/estimate from?

(( HUGS TO YOU ))

Hey, do like JOYOUS and do a little at a time?  Or do they have to do veneers all at once?

P.s. I think you are gorgeous!!

Feel Better!

:)

Awwwww

Poor dear!! Those days are just awful, aren't they? As for that dentist, let's just go and kick him, shall we?? Stupid fellow!! Really, they don't get much worse than that!

On the upside, you followed your plan and everything and as always, things can only get better!! :)

Big hugs to you!

Aw Rach

Sorry to hear you had a crap day - I hope you're feeling a bit calmer today, and I hope you find a good car for those country lanes!  I love Cornwall, but I agree that you really do have to have a car, and perhaps a minibus isn't the most suitable mode of transport .... I'm awfully jealous that you're there at all at the moment, it must be lovely!

Give yourself a break - I know I'm a fine one to say that after I get so upset about my skin! - I completely understand how much it means to you to live with something you can't afford to get fixed.  It REALLY sucks.  But I also know that on the days I'm hormonal and tired it matters a whole lot more than usual - so make sure you look after yourself and treat yourself to something nice today ... maybe a Pimms!

Oh - and if your hubby's anything like mine, he'll take your mood swings and tears completely in his stride and wait until you're feeling better to see the real you.  That's what hubby's are for!

Send a letter!

 There is no call for that - find another dentist and send that place a letter stating exactlly why you won't be using their office!