In Fitness and In Health
My husband and I were always going to be healthy.
We had a long-term plan for it.
Fitness was going to be a big part of our marriage.
We even had many great discussions about it while we were engaged.
'Listen,' I would say. 'I am worried about how our health will be when we are 40. I look at people I know that age, and they are all getting sick. I don't want to end up like that.'
'I know,' J. would agree. 'But this is us. We are going to be fine. We will eat super healthily and do so much exercise. We are going to be in such great shape.'
'Excellent plan,' I would reply, through a mouthful of Big Mac. 'Well, now we have that sorted, shall we grab a pizza on the way home?'
Nine months later, we were married.
Needless to say, the health plan did not, in fact, begin in earnest. In fact, within a year or two, we had both packed on some serious poundage.
Slim, relatively active people when we met, how had we become so unfit?
The trouble was, we had never really had health habits that were effective in the long term.
I mean, my top plan was 'pray to retain the metabolism I had at 20.'
I was a health food freak, active student and keen runner hiding binge eating disorder. My husband, in the US Navy, had a habit of gaining 20 pounds on homeports and losing them on deployments. Lather, rinse and repeat the cycle for five years - and he had the perfect prescription for long-term weight maintenance.
However, move us to married life and desk jobs, weather too vile to run (that's my excuse!), increased stress and no more deployments, add in a serious eating and drinking hobby - and it is a recipe for disaster.
And, in a pattern I am sure many EPers will recognise, we just reinforced each other's bad habits. Partnership is a beautiful thing. You see, if someone else is doing it too, it's not that bad, right?
We can always reassure each other 'we'll start tomorrow'. And all those times we do start? Well, it only takes one of us to leave the corner of the Indian takeaway menu sticking out of the drawer.
I mean, it's not as though I'm fat, right? My partner tells me I'm not. My partner tells me I'm beautiful. So I can be gorgeous, and eat ten family packs of Doritos. I knew there was a reason I got married 
.
And then it went too far. We were sick, exhausted and depressed. Something had to change.
I started first. It was simple, really. I admitted I couldn't stick to a diet. And I stopped trying. Instead, I picked one small thing to change - I cut out stimulants.
And I didn't do it alone - when you are an addict, as I was, it can help to have someone to carry you through those first few days. My husband became that someone. He promised not to nip out for my giant chocolate bars - and I promised not to yell at him for refusing, this time.
He stuck by me, and within a week, I was so much happier and healthier. Then my husband joined in. He started a food diary and increased his exercise. A week later, he had quit smoking - for good, this time.
And something strange started to happen. Where we had been feeding each other's bad habits, we started supporting each other's good ones.Doing things healthily was twice as fun - and twice as easy - when there were two of us.We shopped together, exercised together, planned together.
Whoever was feeling stronger supported the person who was struggling. We didn't want to let each other down. And we helped each other keep slip-ups in perspective.
Nearly one year on, our habits - and our bodies - have transformed.
Our improved health has given us a sense of achievement and well-being that has spilled into all areas of our lives. We have gained a greater independence from each other as well as a fantastic relationship.
Sure, we slip up. Occasionally, we even sabotage each other as well as ourselves. But we always get back on track. Because this time, we are on the same page, and we know where we want things to head.
I have learned that partnership is what you make of it. A spouse, a boyfriend, a friend...they can be your worst partner in crime, or your best ally in having the life you want. You can support each other in self-delusion, or in accountability and strength.
And sure, it has its downsides. Like when my husband lost 45 pounds in the time it took me to lose 20 ; ) And the fact that he has been at goal for months, while I still have 35 pounds to lose.
But it could be worse...now he's embarking on a new career as a personal trainer. And I'd better get free sessions .
Love...and apologies for the mess I made of the pics...I will get hubby to sort them out later for me (hey, being married means you don't have to learn this stuff, right?)
Rach xxx 
