Feeling good...

Well I went for my WI today and went back to the class where I used to be a clerk.  It was great to see everyone again and see how much weight they had lost.  I was fully expecting at least a 3lb gain but I lost a 1lb.  I've had a bad week as last week I only lost a 1lb after a perfect week and its been a bad week for me dealing with the loss of my dad.

The result is I feel really positive and very motivated to actually plan and work towards my goal this week.  It feels possible that I can reach my goal, and its a long time since I have felt that way.  I even dragged the poor dog out for a huge walk after the class and now she is crashed out bless her!

Well I will update next Saturday...I have a feeling its going to be a good week!

De wabbit

It seems like a long long journey ahead

Its been a very up and down time for me over the last couple of weeks.  I worked so hard in the first week, weighed everything, wrote it down and was truly perfect and lost 1lb.  So I had a bad day but picked myself up and started down the road again but today I was tired and had a bad day and cried over losing my dad again.  It seems like I havent been able to speak to him forever but the pain seems like the day after.  But I have to change, if i repeat my dad's mistake with the weight, he would be heart broken.

Sooooooo I've picked myself up again, and starting to take my first wobbly steps down the long road again.  I'm using a crutch of a menu planner and the ww message boards to support me so it seems I stray from the road a little less each time.

De Wabbit

Back and scared...

Well I'm back, plus 7lbs.

Why am I scared?  I lost my Dad on the 9th of August, he was poorly but we didnt expect him to die and so quickly.  He, like myself was very overweight and the doctors said this was a factor in is cause of death and the ability to treat him.  So thats why I'm scared, he was only 60, twenty-one years older than me, so if i think I have only that left, it becomes terrifying.

But my nature is to be optomistic and see the positive things.  I know my grief will be a journey that I will just have to ride out and learn from but I think he left me a message as well, lose with weight, regain your life and live it for a long time.  After all isnt it the children that carry forward the hopes, dreams and future for their parents?

Jess

Losing the plot...

What a terrible couple of weeks over easter, I have completely lost the plot and I'm expecting a huge weight gain at my wi on Saturday so I'm not happy with myself.

I think I have to accept that I am a disastrous emotional eater, I got made redundant this week, the second time in 12 months by the same organisation, so I'm rebuilding myself and my career, but I've paid the price and I expect to have put at least 7lbs on when i get weighed.

So i have set myself some goals, when I'm working again, I'm going to get some counselling and sort out this stupid dependency i have on food.  I've had enough of it now and I need to get a hold of it and push it out of my life.

After my wi on saturday, i start teaching my bellydance classes again and I'm going to make sure that even in the summer break i go to the gym.  I'm going to go to the doctors and ask to be referred to the lifestyles programme and get a free personal trainer.  Someone has to kick me up the a*se and give me a reality check or I'm gonna be dead before i'm 60.

So there my goals, and now its in writing so its official...hmm i'm being flippant again...its a defence mechanism i think

Oh well back to the grind stone...

De Wabit

Non Scale Victory and a New Job

Today has been a good day, I went for an interview and got the post, and its a career shift back into teaching and out of the community and voluntary sector. 

Its a good thing as I'm being made redundant at the end of the month and the stress was really begining to effect my health with daily migraines, tiredness and feeling generally unwell.  It was soooo nice to actually have someone recognise the hard work and investment I have put into my career, instead of the demands of just wanting more!

It had such an impact that normally with a big achievement I celebrate with food, but I didnt, instead (and this is a bit sad really!) I bought the most expensive car wash for my car and a bag of fruit and a big lump of watermelon.  I've never done this before, so I'm begining to believe I am starting to change my eating habits permenantely, which is putting me into a postive spiral.

Really I'm just so happy and relieved to get out of my current work and return to teaching, although I've had a few wobbles on the way!

De Wabit

One week later...

Well it’s been a good week, I lost 5 lbs in my weigh in this week, great eh...shame i put 4 lbs on last week

Self deprecating humour aside, I'm getting into the zone, I just need to give myself a swift, yet powerful kick to get back to the exercise zone.  That’s when I really start to see the difference, not only on the scales but in my shape too.

I think Oldchems website has really helped with the Giant Core Cookies that ensure that i eat breakfast and don’t eat the contents of the fridge on an evening when the TV has nothing worth watching on (how cant that be with hundreds of channels?) and my o/h isn’t home.

Well I'm determined to keep going and also figure out how to see the comments on my posts...thanks if you have commented; I really didn’t expect it, just quiet obscurity with my incoherent waffling as I fight the eternal battle with this thing called food.

I'm sure I'm not the first to sit and gaze at my navel and wonder why my addiction is the one that means I have to manage it and not just cut it out.

Enough of my navel gazing, I hope you all have a fab week, full of success and motivation

Oh how the battle continues, I've just wiped this post and had to retype it...and my o/h is telling me that the 'puters make life easier...

De Wabit

In the beginning

Well i found this blog on the ww forum and I thought i would give it a go as i'm really struggling to get into the 'zone' right now and my cravings are at an all time high.

What's making it worse is the stress from my job, so I've resigned and now i have to find another.  I'm an emotional eater, so i'm hitting every trigger I have to comfort eat.  Its hard, so I think I will load my hypnotherpy track onto my ipod and go to bed at least I'm out of the way of food!

Fortunately I got engaged on valentines day and I have a fantastic partner to support me, so I guess i should appreciate what i have and stop moaning about the other stuff.

I need to work on my emotional triggers, i know it takes 21 days to break a habit and to form one...and now i'm just rambling on...i need to take a break and think about why I want to lose weight

De Wabit