Today was a really good diet day almost all day. Until my husband bought doritos, fried chicken, and custard filled donuts from the grocery. I said he absolutley had to keep them out of my sight or I would freak out. Anyway, he left his open bag of fried chicken he hadn't eaten yet out on the counter. He had bought a 10 peice and ate 7 peices. Anyway, I ended up letting myself impulsively eat 3 drumsticks. After that I though what the hell, and ate a bowl of doritos and a donuts. When I was done I got on the treadmill and tried to work some of it off. I sucked because I was happy with my Seattle Sutton pizza and fruit salad dinner until I saw all that junk. Anyway, I felt kind of sabotaged because I told him specifically to hid the crap, and mad at him because he had the audacity to get after me for eating it. Oh well, tomorrow is another day and today wasn't all bad. I still ate way way less than I did when I wasn't dieting. When I would just let myself eat whatever I wanted I was eating close to 5,000 calories a day.

Anyway, I had a good day at work. I cleaned my house because I am having my sister and her boyfriend over to play rock band tomorrow. I did some more of the business course work, and still fount time to hop on the treadmil for 40 minutes. I wont beat myself up. Next time I will just stay completely out of the kitchen.

I am going to go to bed right after I finish this post. Today was another good day. I ate my meals, and I worked out on the treamill during biggest loser. I cried like 6 times I felt so bad for Jerry when he had to go, but I was so happy for him when I saw his after I cried again.

I have been spending a lot of time on my business homework. Work work is going well, plus if I get all my hours in I might not have to go in on Friday.

Today went really well. My feeling was correct. Dieting was super easy because I am super busy at work. But it is all fun design and organizing stuff. I really need to try to be more organized at work. Anyway, I just ate my seattle sutton as usual and I did about an hour on the treadmil. i would have only done 40 minutes but when I put on Dirty Dancing half way thru and I had to watch it to the final dance seen. That movie always leaves me smiling big time! I feel so bad for Patrick Swatze and his cancer stuff. 
I was finally able to start my class today. So far it looks like it is going to be pretty good. My professor seems extremely organized and he has all 17 weeks planned out. I also feel so relieved that I don't have to go anywhere. Its nice no will know I am the 300 pounds college student. Although everyone was nice to me at college (I think they were probably afraid of me lol)

Anyway, I worked on his assignments for probably 2 hours I am scheduling in like 12 hrs a week for this class. I don't think it should take that much time but I want to make sure i have enough. I am glad I only have the one class since I have my cruise coming up soon I should be able to keep up online. I love being in this state I love progressing and bettering myself. I think I am going to start looking at other classes I can take that aren't to do with business for next semester. I know I need to take speech (yuck) but I was thinking philosophy and world religions or something smart sounding like that.

Anyway, I should go to sleep but my husband is still up playing grand theft auto.

Weekends have always been the toughest for me when I am dieting. However, this weekend was really easy. I made sure to sleep in really late everyday so I would eat my breakfast later and so on. I also made sure to stay busy. I went to my sisters house and did Tae Bo with her yesterday and today. Plus we went shopping. I was able to pick up my groceries super fast (I basically just bought some flavored water and tea). I am so happy that I am on seattle sutton. I am excited about my new order coming tomorrow. I am also glad that i don't have to think about anything, just eat the food exercise and get healthier.  Now that I am older I realize that not all my problems will be fixed when i get skinny but I am happy that I am going to take care of that. I know I will enjoy my life more. I also need to learn to stop being jealous of everyone else and just enjoy my life.

Today I watched romancing the stone while I was on the treadmill as well as the taebo I did. Every little bit helps. I would really like to be under 270 for my cruise. Thats why I am doing everything I can.

I ate my dinner and decided I deserved to have a treat so I let myself have 2 pieces of chocolate about 140 calories.  It was good. I think since Seattle Sutton is only 1200 calories it would be ok for me to let myself have a treat every couple days. I wont have a treat when seattle sutton gives me one today for dinner it was only manicotti and green beans.  Plus it is super easy for me to burn off 140 calories pretty easy on the treadmill.

Also, I resisted McDonalds today. My husband went through the drivethru and I decided just to go home and eat my seattle sutton tuna melt thing (wasn't good)

Today went great! I didn't have as much of a productive day at work as I would have liked. I got a little off track and spent about 5 hours trying to fix something that wasn't even a problem on my end. But once we (as in the computer guy) figured out it was his fault I was able to move on. To be honest this year has been going much better than last ( yeah I know its only been 8 days) Just at work though. Last year it was a struggle to get my Marketing Budget approved. It took like 5 meetings with all the higher ups, this year there was only one meeting and a follow up email I sent. They basically said go for it, which makes me feel they trust me a little more. Anyway, besides work going well. I am eating a lot healthier.

I want to be positive. I keep having negative thoughts and feelings, about the economy and the state of the world. I feel like I have so much to lose because so far despite my weight I have had a really great life, and I have so many things to be grateful for. Anyway, God said in the bible worrying doesn' t help anything, its a waste of time. I just get these nervous feelings. Part of it is getting older. Ever since I got married and moved out I have felt like my life is going by so quick. Plus I have been reading Voltaire's micromegas in french (just to try to refresh my french I learned in highschool) Anyway, there are a lot of philosophical themes about life being relative and never enough. Oh well. I think I just need to read the bible a little more and put my faith in Jesus.

Anyway, back to my eating. I ate all my healthy meals again today. My skin is definitely looking better because my husband mentioned today that I looked prettier than I have in a long time. He said my skin looks alot less shiny. He also mentioned that my skin has been looking like the skin of someone that works in a chip shop (he is english) and their skin is constantly greasy from being around all the food frying. That was kind of embarrassing.  He stayed home sick today which Stomach problems. I am pretty sure they resulted from him cooking himself shrimp last night.

 He was around when the Seattle Sutton Lady delivered and he looked at all my meals. He is thinking about starting the week after next. He doesn't have any weight to lose but he does want to get fitter. He has been trying to quit smoking for ages. He was able to quit last year and he was perfect up until we went to las vegas. Las Vegas was fun but I regret going because he picked the bad habit back up. He is 27 years old. Anyway, he swears off smoking almost as often as I swear off junk food.  I think it will be good if he actually goes on the diet with me. He will get the 2000 calorie plan,not the 1200 like me of course. I think it would be great to not have to worry about cooking for anyone. Nor go shopping. In all honesty, even though Seattle sutton is expensive, if we stop our weekend shopping trips we will probably come out about the same. Because we end up buying so much crap we don't need on a whim.

On  a lighter note, I am really happy about my Chia Herb garden. I bought myself after christmas. 3 of the 4 herbs have sprouted. I feel bad for my mom because she bought one at the same time and hers haven't done anything, but I don't think she followed the directions. Next time I will help her.

I had another good day health wise. I ate my Seattle Sutton, even though the dinner was turkey tetrazinni which must be the worst thing the have. At least I know I don't have to eat it again for another 5 weeks. I think my skin is getting a little bit better already from the eating healthy.

My husband has been a big pain today, he kept whining about being hungry, and then needed me to show him how to thaw shrimp. Just now he called for me to come into his office and he wanted to show me a you tube video of the preview for Ice Age 4. I told him I couldn't care less about it and now he is sulking. I told him  I was sorry but he is still mad at me for not going crazy over a stupid trailer for a disney movie. He and his family are nuts over movies, and to be honest I don't really care about them. A good movie now and then is fine but I don't care about something that is months off. Anyway, that will be the end of my rant on that.

When I was driving home from work today I was thinking I could take a rest day from my exercise. However, after I ate my dinner I thought  I might as well. Plus my husband was saying I should do at least something (sometimes I wish he would just shut up)  Anyway, so I did a 45 min Taebo video. It was the Tae Bo believers workout that is pretty easy, I think it is for people that haven't exercised much. Then I walked on the treadmill for 10 minutes. I then took a nice bath and  put firming cream all over. So I feel nice and pretty again.

It has been easy to fit exercise into my schedule recently because I haven't had college since dec 16. Its going to be such a pain the behind to start up again. At least this semestre i am going to take class online. So that should save me sometime. I like college but I am a procrastinator and I always end up wasting my time until the last minute when I have to get everything done right away. Which could be the reason for me not starting my cruise diet until a month and a half before the cruise.

Here are my goals for Tomorrow

• Read my list of reasons to lose weight
• Eat slowly and mindfully
• Arrange work and home to meet my diet needs (get rid of temptation)
• Give myself credit for the things I do

1/8/09

Ok, I forgot to read my list of reasons to lose today. I did eat slowly again, except my dinner which my husband pressured me to gobble down so we could go to the store right away. I don't think I really need to arrange my home much, besides I got some water today so I would have something healthy to drink.

I give myself credit for going on the treadmill for 50 min and burning 500. I also give myself credit for eating 4 cherry tomatoes (I have always hated tomatoes) and a bunch of purple cabbage. I think Seattle Sutton is going to cure me of my picky tastes.