Feeling pretty good!

Well as some of you can see I have lost 13 pounds from my heightest weight! I'm so happy for myself! I'm gonna keep up the good work!!!!!

Jennifer

What else could go wrong?

I swear someone is trying me so bad!

At work last night we were so busy and I'm in here by myself. I got off work at 6am, went home got the kids ready. My husband took Holden to daycare, and I had to take Madilyn to my aunts house who lives about 30 mins away.  On my way back from dropping her off I had a tire blow out on the interstate. Luckily I was at an exit, and near a gas station. I called a friend to help me get it changed. After an hour of messing with it we get it changed. As we are trying to leave I realized it was flat. YES the spare was FLAT! UGHHHHHHHHHh!!!!!!! So we have to jack the car BACK up to get the tire to fill up with air. FINALLY I got home at 10:30, and couldn't go to sleep until 11:30, then I had to get up early to go and pick Madilyn BACK up from my aunt. I got to my aunts, and she had already left for the Dr since I was so late. So I had to bring Madilyn to work with me until Chris could come get her. So she got to play with some of the officers and carry around her baby.  I let her see our Blood Hound. She we got some special bonding time that i feel like I need with her. So now I'm at work and it seems like its going to be a decent night...

I just needed to vent.

Jennifer

I'm not happy with myself...Sorry its long!

I have no choice but to get this weight thing under TOTAL control in the next year, 2 years at the VERY most. My son is now 3 and he knows a lot more than I thought. He can tell my emotions and knows what to say when I'm sad. He is just so smart and my daughter is only 22 months behind him. I grew up knowing my mom was struggling with her weight, and I got a lot of self esteem problems from that. Because I thought/still do that my mom is the pretties woman ever. Shes my mom I'm supposed to think that!!!

I want to get my weight under control and comfortable before my daughter or my son catches on that I"m not happy with myself. I mean I don't have to get down to 135 that is my goal, but I truely believe right this minute if I could get down to 150 I would be happy for now. But I keep thinking what about when I'm not happy with 150? Then what? Do I Obsess again over 15 pounds??

I want BOTH of my children to be healthy and grow up happy. I don't want them to be treated like I was in school. That would kill me. I don't know how I will handle it. How do you handle that? People calling your child names? Picking on them? Degrading them?My children are my world.

Where do I start??? Even though I grew up with my mom struggling with weight I don't know how to teach myself or my children how to live and be healthy. We never "played" outside when I was a child unless it was some type of special occasion because we weren't allowed to go outside unless we were supervised. We rode our "new"bikes Christmas Mornings, but by New Years that wore off. Birthday presents lost their thrill after about a week too. I work the night shift one week I'm at work Mon, Tues, Fri, Sat, Sun and then the next only Wed, Thurs. But I work nights So I have to sleep the day after. I'm looking for a new job.

So here is my promise and as soon as I get a computer at home I will be giving daily updates.

1. Thursday 3-15-2007: I will get outside and walk atleast 1 time around the block. Since I live on the dead end I will walk the next block over. It also has a hill that is about a 60 degree angle, I'm going to walk up it to get back to the house.

2. Friday 3-16-2007: After I get my sleep. I will get the kids from Daycare and take them to the park for an hour. Then we will walk the track. I will probably be pushing the double stroller for atleast 30 mins!

3. Saturday 3-17-2007: Church has a yard sale going on so I plan on stopping by it. Then I will take the kids to the park for 30 mins, and walk the track for 30 mins. After that I will take Holden to the baseball field and let him practice TBall. Madilyn gets out there and tries to play but shes only 16 months! :-)

4. Sunday 3-18-2007: This is going to be a hard day! Church from 9:45 until 12:30ish. After we eat the kids will take a nap until 3-3:30. We will go to the ball field and play at the park until 5:30.

5. Monday 3-19-2007: I have to work! :-( But I will walk around the block 1 time again.

6. Tuesday 3-20-2007: I have to work! :-( But I will walk around the block 1 time again.

7. Wednesday 3-21-2007: I will get the kids from daycare earlier than usual, and take them to the park before Church starts at 7.

8. Thursday 3-22-2007: I have to work my part time job as an EMT. So I will get a lot of exercise today!!! I am averaging atleast 4 transports a day when I work, and the lifting has to be some type of exercise compaired to my reg. 12 hr shift sit down job.

9. Friday 3-23-2007: Before coming to work I will walk the big hill once again!

10. I'm going to make a grocery list and buy groceries. NO MORE eating out. Except date night  which is the Fridays I'm off. Maybe I can find a babysitter for a few hours and make a romantic dinner for my husband.

11. 1 Soda. Dang these stupid Sun Drops I swear they are addicting!!!!

12. Some type of exercise 30 mins a day and will keep a journal and post it!

13. Keep a food journal!

Am I on the right track? ANyone know any good recipe sites?

Thanks so much! I've lost 6 pounds!!!!

Positive Thoughts

My gum is feeling a lot better! Thank Goodness!!!

This week I am going to continue 1 soft drink a day, with 8 bottles of water. Watch what I eat. This week I have heavy house cleaning Monday, Tuesday I work as an EMT from 8-5, Wednesday and Thursday I work my full time job, and this weekend is devoted to God and my Kids!

My husband and I didn't have a real wedding so on March 8th, he asked me if we could get married again and have a real wedding. So I am changing my goal for my weight. We set a Date of April 26th, 2008. I'm going to set my weight goal for April 1, 2008. That gives me 6 weeks longer than I orginally thought.

I will exercise 3 days this week!!!!

Hope you all have a good week!!!!!

Am I getting better?

So I haven't done this in  a week but heres why. I had ONE of my wisdom tooth extracted (#17), and I am still in pain. The swelling just went down yesterday!!!!! I had this done on 3-1-07. I can only open my mouth about an inch and its driving me crazy. The pain medicine is making me sick to my stomache. I think I have lost some weight, because my size 20s now fit without me laying on the bed and sucking in! But that could be from not eating for a week. Mashed potatoes, and soup is getting old!

I hope everyone else is doing better than I am.

Another day...

On Wednesday I didn't get my exercises done again. My son was sick with a stomache virus so I really didnt have much alone time before at 6pm.

Thursday - Exercise is out of the way-
20 Sit Ups
20 Push Ups
25/25 Ea Leg (lifts)
Stretching

I have to have 3 teeth pulled at 8am so I figured I would get it done while I was at work. I'm getting to where I crave water. It used to be that I craved Sun Drop but now I would rather have water. I am doing good with the 1 soda a day, and drinking more water. I am very proud of myself for that. I'm taking baby steps but hopefully I'll acheive my goal.

Is my goal unrealistic? 120 pounds by this time next year?

Thanks for you all listening!

Harder than I thought.

Wow This is really harder than I thought it was going to be. The exercises are a pieces of cake but its just making my self do it. On Monday I got off work at 6am, went home got the kids ready and got them off to school. I was planning on going to bed and then getting up and exercising before getting them. That didn't work.

So Tuesday (Today) I decided that I was going to get them over and done with. I was up at 3am with my son who decided he couldn't sleep in his bed, so I layed around for about an hour and half. Then I got on the floor and started my exercises. 20- Push Ups
20- Sit Ups
25 Inner/25 Outer Leg Lifts
25 inner/25 Outer Leg lifts
15 mins of stretching
I doubled what I said my goal was for the week since I didn't do anything yesterday. I plan on walking today, and working a part time job today if my partner shows up. I'm an EMT so I figured that lifting and moving patients should allow me to burn some calories and fat.

Wish me luck!!!!

First Official Blog...My background and now.

I never thought I would be in this position. I can't really describe it but my weight is affecting my whole entire life. I work 12 hour shifts and after working and sitting those 12 hours my thigh areas ache. Then I go home and lay down and my pelvic bones ache as if I were 9 months pregnant again. I guess I brought this all on myself and its time to turn it around.

So here we go a blast into the past...

My parents swear I started out life as a tiny little Princess, and when I got into about 3rd grade I started gaining weight. A lot of things were going on in my life then. My parents had recently divorced, and my dad remarried his 2nd wife that he was having the affair with. My mom moved us I don't even know how many times. It was just completely crazy for a 8 yr old to be going through. So I turned to eating...A LOT! Jr High and High School were bad, I wasn't fat I was maybe 20 pounds over weight but I was picked on because I was a size 14 and all the other girls were a size 2. Jr High and High School was also plagged with a lot of illness and deaths in my family. Mothers Day 1995 My dads mother had a stroke that kept us going back and forth to the hospital every day for months, October 1996 My Moms mother suddenly died of Kidney Failure, November 1998 My dads father was diagnosed with cancer and later died in May of 1999 of Pancreatic Cancer, September 2000 My moms father died suddenly from an unknown illness, August 2001 My dads mother died of complications from her stroke in 1995, and all during this time I kept myself busy with school and playing softball. I played for 3 teams year round. This kept me from turning to food. I was still a size 14/16 but I was not fat looking back I was still only 30 pounds over weight but I was as happy as I could be. September of 2001 put an end to all of that I was in a wreck that almost killed me. I tore all the ligaments in my knee preventing me from being able to play softball. This is really when the weight started packing on. I wasn't able to graduate on time due to the wreck, and I had finally came to terms with the death of my grandparents so food was the answer. I became a very lazy lazy person! I also kept myself secluded, I stopped being around friends and family unless I was forced to. I started working 50 hour weeks just to keep myself from thinking about everything.

In August 2002 I met my husband, and by Christmas we were engaged. Then in May of 2003 I found out I was pregnant with my first child. I was so excited, and I wish I could say the same for my fiances parents. They really treated me badly and I am still not over that. My son was born in Jan of 2004, and we were married in Dec of 2004. In Feb2005 I found out I was pregant, our Honeymoon baby. We both were excited, but that was very short lived when we were told by the Dr's office that we had lost our baby. Then in March of 2005 I found out I was still pregnant and the dr's office wasn't sure if it was a twin pregnancy, with losing one of them or I was just pregnant again quickly. Nov 2005 I gave birth to the first girl born to my husbands family is 40 something years. Around Sept of 2006 we wanted to get pregnant again and thought we had gotten pregnant but it turned out to be that I have a major thyroid problem and to this date the Dr's have not gotten it under control. I also had a d&c in Dec of 2006 for a baby that I lost.

We really want to have more children but it is so hard with me weighing in at 253. Before things started going down hill I never weighed over 160, and if I did I started panicking.

I really want to loose this weight. I want to be able to go outside and play with my children and have fun. I don't want to be so big that I can't do anything.

I am starting with short term goals and working into the larger picture. For the Week of Feb 26th I plan on doing the following, again it may not sound like much but I'm starting slow.

1 - 20 ounce Soft Drink a day
4 - 20 ounce bottles of Water a day
10 - Sit Ups ( 4 days a week)
10 - Push Ups ( 4 days a week)
25 - Leg Lifts for each leg ( 4 days a week)
Walk around the Walking Track 4 Times (2 Days a week)

So I was interupted at work while I was writing this. My days run midnight to midnight. I guess that is the only way to work it.

3:30 am - So far I have had 1.5 bottles of water which equals about 24 ounces so far.  I have heard it is best to drink half your weight in ounces of water, but that means I would have to drink...127 ounces of water a day (almost 7 bottles a day) I don't know if I can do it, but I'm going to try. My biggest problems are getting off my butt and exercising, no fast food, and WATER!!!!!

Oh Well, This concludes my blog for the day. I hope I done this right!