I'm not happy with myself...Sorry its long!
I have no choice but to get this weight thing under TOTAL control in the next year, 2 years at the VERY most. My son is now 3 and he knows a lot more than I thought. He can tell my emotions and knows what to say when I'm sad. He is just so smart and my daughter is only 22 months behind him. I grew up knowing my mom was struggling with her weight, and I got a lot of self esteem problems from that. Because I thought/still do that my mom is the pretties woman ever. Shes my mom I'm supposed to think that!!!
I want to get my weight under control and comfortable before my daughter or my son catches on that I"m not happy with myself. I mean I don't have to get down to 135 that is my goal, but I truely believe right this minute if I could get down to 150 I would be happy for now. But I keep thinking what about when I'm not happy with 150? Then what? Do I Obsess again over 15 pounds??
I want BOTH of my children to be healthy and grow up happy. I don't want them to be treated like I was in school. That would kill me. I don't know how I will handle it. How do you handle that? People calling your child names? Picking on them? Degrading them?My children are my world.
Where do I start??? Even though I grew up with my mom struggling with weight I don't know how to teach myself or my children how to live and be healthy. We never "played" outside when I was a child unless it was some type of special occasion because we weren't allowed to go outside unless we were supervised. We rode our "new"bikes Christmas Mornings, but by New Years that wore off. Birthday presents lost their thrill after about a week too. I work the night shift one week I'm at work Mon, Tues, Fri, Sat, Sun and then the next only Wed, Thurs. But I work nights So I have to sleep the day after. I'm looking for a new job.
So here is my promise and as soon as I get a computer at home I will be giving daily updates.
1. Thursday 3-15-2007: I will get outside and walk atleast 1 time around the block. Since I live on the dead end I will walk the next block over. It also has a hill that is about a 60 degree angle, I'm going to walk up it to get back to the house.
2. Friday 3-16-2007: After I get my sleep. I will get the kids from Daycare and take them to the park for an hour. Then we will walk the track. I will probably be pushing the double stroller for atleast 30 mins!
3. Saturday 3-17-2007: Church has a yard sale going on so I plan on stopping by it. Then I will take the kids to the park for 30 mins, and walk the track for 30 mins. After that I will take Holden to the baseball field and let him practice TBall. Madilyn gets out there and tries to play but shes only 16 months! :-)
4. Sunday 3-18-2007: This is going to be a hard day! Church from 9:45 until 12:30ish. After we eat the kids will take a nap until 3-3:30. We will go to the ball field and play at the park until 5:30.
5. Monday 3-19-2007: I have to work! :-( But I will walk around the block 1 time again.
6. Tuesday 3-20-2007: I have to work! :-( But I will walk around the block 1 time again.
7. Wednesday 3-21-2007: I will get the kids from daycare earlier than usual, and take them to the park before Church starts at 7.
8. Thursday 3-22-2007: I have to work my part time job as an EMT. So I will get a lot of exercise today!!! I am averaging atleast 4 transports a day when I work, and the lifting has to be some type of exercise compaired to my reg. 12 hr shift sit down job.
9. Friday 3-23-2007: Before coming to work I will walk the big hill once again!
10. I'm going to make a grocery list and buy groceries. NO MORE eating out. Except date night which is the Fridays I'm off. Maybe I can find a babysitter for a few hours and make a romantic dinner for my husband.
11. 1 Soda. Dang these stupid Sun Drops I swear they are addicting!!!!
12. Some type of exercise 30 mins a day and will keep a journal and post it!
13. Keep a food journal!
Am I on the right track? ANyone know any good recipe sites?
Thanks so much! I've lost 6 pounds!!!!