Loosing Focus Not Weight

I am in a rut, I worked out twice this week but my eating has bee sporatic and depressing.  I have the desire to loose weight but not the will power.  I really need to re group and refocus but it seems that life just gets in the way.  There is always something that takes my focus off of my weight loss.  I love food and love to eat, will I ever be able to eat what I want, when I want?  Will being thinner really make me happy....well, yes, but at what cost.  I need to really do better planning and sitck to what I plan out for meals. I need to saty away from FF resturants and eat fresh more.  I feel like I am going in 5 different directions with my weight loss and not sure what is working and what isnt. 

I want to do it on my own, I cant afford Jenny Craig and Have doen WW, but I tend to get lazy about the tracking, so I have been trackin gmy food on Extra, trying to keep my Cal in take down, but who knows!?!?! 

Well, I hope to refocus...again this weekend....and get back on track....I really need to be aware of the choices I make in food and stop trying to reason with myself. 

Any advice on what might help?