The long road to freedom

I have a problem

Friday, December 7, 2007 23:00:00

And it is time for me to admit it to someone. I think I'm addicted to junk food. Seriously. I hide it in the house so I don't have to share it. I get serious cravings for it and if I don't eat a little bit when the craving first starts, I will big time binge when I can't take it anymore. I will plan what junk I'm going to eat when I know my husband isn't going to be home to share it with or to give me grief about eating it. Tonight - he was planning to be gone so I decided I would make rice krispie treats and eat the entire pan. Yes - I PLANNED to eat the entire thing. That's just not normal, is it? It doesn't seem like it is normal. It took 2 stores to get the ingredients, I made it and ate until I was stuffed and sick. At one point today, it was looking like his plans were going to be cancelled and I was upset. Upset that he would be at home with me because it meant I wouldn't get to eat my pan of krispie treats. I know my binging habits are a huge contributor to why I'm not losing. Now, I have done the food plan perfect before and I have lost and it was still slow - but not this slow.

Ok, now I've admitted it. Now, I need to learn to stop this behavior. I think that will be the really hard part.

Comments(3)

YAY ME!

Thursday, December 7, 2006 22:05:18

One whole week of exercise!! This is major for me. It means getting up at 5am every morning to get my workout in. On Friday, I was ever so tempted to just sleep through it, but I made myself get up. I did 3 days on the elliptical and 3 days of weight lifting. I even took a walk with my girls on 5 of those 6 days and that was not part of my goal. :) Now, to keep it up! Comments(2)

Hoping this is the motivation I need

Thursday, December 7, 2006 22:00:02

A family get together at the end of September. I am hoping that if I can stay focused for that, my success will help that to continue. And, yes, a goal of being skinnier than my sisters does work for me. At least for the past 2 days... I CAN DO THIS!!! I just have to do it. Comments(0)

Finally - a success!

Thursday, December 7, 2006 00:07:12

Every day this week has started with Kashi Go-Lean crunch for breakfast. I have managed to remember to get it when getting dd1 breakfast and then we eat together. I share it with her because she asks nicely. :) So, my first goal of eating a healthy breakfast every day for a week has been met! WOOHOO!!

My next goal: to start logging my food again. Comments(1)

Exercise

Thursday, December 7, 2006 00:05:16

I was doing pretty good with it and then it got hot. Now I need to find a way to get myself up earlier and go before it gets too warm. Either that, or get out to the garage to use the elliptical after the girls are asleep. This will be easier after dh leaves because we won't be watching a movie together. I guess I do still have some exercise tapes that I could do in the basement during dd1's nap... in addition to the free weights that are still down here. Time to make myself an appt. Comments(0)

Stress and travel

Thursday, December 7, 2006 00:04:16

Neither are helpful for weight loss. I have way more stress than I care for. And I'll be taking 2 1 week long trips in less than a month. With a toddler and a one month old. Did I mention stress?

Oh, and the purpose for the trips... yeah, more stress... my hubby is moving away. He needs to be on site for his new job. We can't wait for the house to sell so that we can all move together. Time is up. *sigh* I don't want to do the single mommy thing. I want my husband with me. Who knows when I'll get to see him. With having to pay rent and mortgage and all other bills for two households, that won't be leaving much for travel.

Exercise helps me with stress, so I will keep doing that. Unfortunately, I'm also a stress eater. I'm going to try going back to what I did with Body For Life... when I'm really craving something, I can tell myself I'll eat it on my free day. Even if I totally overdo it on my free day, as long as I don't splurge at all on the rest of the days, I know it works. I lost 30# doing that before.

I will have more time to exercise once dh is gone... and everyday will be the same at least until I have to go back to work. And our house had better be sold by then! Comments(0)

Ack

Tuesday, December 5, 2006 23:07:16

I went up a pound. I know my eating wasn't stellar, but I did exercise. Now I know the quick weight loss after giving birth has ended - 13# up from where I started the pg. UGH. Time to start working on my baby steps. First - a good, healthy breakfast every day. That will be my goal this week. Comments(0)

And just like that

Wednesday, December 6, 2006 00:07:19

I fall apart. I need to quit grocery shopping when I am hungry. I tend to find the candy aisle and then buy some and eat it all at once. I find myself hiding this from dh. True addiction I guess. Now I just need to learn to manage it. Stop it before I go into that candy aisle. No shopping when I am hungry will help, but I do not know if that will stop it entirely. Why is willpower so elusive?? Comments(1)

Day 2

Wednesday, December 6, 2006 00:06:00

Yesterday I managed to eat healthy for all of my meals and walk 1.5 miles with Kaylee strapped to me. It was a good first day.

Day 2 was a little more difficult. I spent most of the day in the car because my brother needed a ride up to Longmont (3 hours away) to buy a new vehicle. I did get some exercise chasing Josie around the dealership while we waited for the to find the key to the vehicle that he wanted though. That took about an hour and she was having a lot of fun chasing birds and running places she wasn't supposed to because it was hilarious to make me chase her. :/ She's too cute though - I can't stay mad at her for long... :) Comments(2)

The beginning

Wednesday, December 6, 2006 00:03:12

I have begun losing weight too many times to count. It seems the past 10 years of my life have only been about how to get the weight off. This time, I'm starting by just focusing on eating as healthy as I can and walking at least 3x / week. I want to be reasonable about what I can do. I'm nursing and that will slow things down for me because I don't want to lose my supply. Also, with moving, it will make things more difficult. Comments(3)