Just for me

I am so frustrated.  Last night I went out for a 6 mile run and I couldnt even do that.  I was exhausted after 2 miles and at 5 1/2 I quit and walked the last half and my time was horrible.

On a positive note, my food was great yesterday, good breakfast, healthy snacks, good lunch, and decent dinner.  Dessert was a small handfull of peanutbutter M&M's, much better than the brownie and ice cream Ive been having.

Bad Decision

So I didnt go get a sub or anything remotely healthy for lunch yesterday.  I went straight to Taco Bell/Pizza Hut Express and got a cheese pizza meal complete with bread stix and a bucket of pop, at least i got that in diet but only because their Dr Pepper spout wasnt working.  I know im pmsing so its harder to make good decisions but still, I need to learn to make them!  Dinner was better but then I snacked through the night unnecessarily.  Today I had my rice cake with peanut butter and skim milk for breakfast.  I forgot to grab a yogurt to snack on but I did pack my lunch.  So no chance for bad decisions there and I think I packed enough to have something for a snack in a couple hours. 

Last night was my rest day after my long run Sunday.  So I stopped at Target looking for a decent outfit to run in this weekend (bc I always just run in old tattered t-shirts from highschool, thats 10 years ago)  Well they didnt have anything spectacular so I'll probably just run in the one pair of long jogging pants I have even though they show every little dimple of my thighs.  Anyway, they had their running skirts on clearance for $5!  I hadnt bought one yet and its supposed to be way too cold to wear it to the half but I got 2 of them anyway.  At that price I dont care if they just sit in my drawer until next spring.  I did pack one to go for my jog in tonight since we are at the end of our warm spell.  So I'll give it a try.  I did take my dog for short walk since it was my rest day.  That was a nice change of pace 

Monday :(

I swear I have weekly depression like some people have seasonal (although I think I get that too)  Not actually depressed but I feel such a high when Friday rolls around and get to spend some time with my DH and do things we enjoy, then Monday, heck even part way through Sunday, I start dreading the thought of a week of blah again.  I think if I got to see DH during the week or if I enjoyed my job a little more itd be better, who knows.  Anyway.....I had a good run Sunday.  It felt like a great run.  I went 8 miles, tappering for the actual half this weekend, and really felt like I had kept a good pace and never got tired.  Until I got back to my car to look at the clock and from my best guess I ran about 10 min miles     It's not that thats terrible or anything.  Its just that I was doing so great with my training that I was really hoping to finish under 2 hours.  Then I had those 2 weeks off and although I feel pretty good on my runs still, my times just arent where Id hoped theyd be.  Well when I first started this my goal was just to finish.  I will have to go back to that and not beat myself up if Im really really slow. 

Food was so-so over the weekend.  Imagine that.  I definately didnt make healthy choices but I didnt eat anything and everything I could get my hands on (like thats some sort of accomplishment :)  Today Im off to a good start.  I had a rice cake with peanut butter and skim milk for breakfast.  Yogurt for a snack.  Although I didnt get up in time to pack my lunch so I'll have to go out for something.  HHmmm maybe I'll pick a sub or something up thats moderately healthy.  Most of the people Id go to lunch with arent in the office today so its all my decision.  I did get lunch foods at the grocery store so if I can get my lunch started in the evenings I should be all set to pack this week.  Keep the greasy foods away atleast until after my run Sunday!

FRIDAY!!!

I decided just to run in my neighborhood yesterday.  My sister and I were talking about hills and I realized that since Ive gotten into my longer runs, I have only been running on the trail which is totally flat.  So I decided to do a few miles in my neighborhood.  I was hoping for 4.5 but I was really struggling and I decided Id rather not push it too hard a week before the actual run so I just did 3.  I figured that got me some hill work without hurting anything or straining anything too much.  Tonight I'll do the 6 miles on the flat trail I need. 

Food has gotten completely outta control.  The last few days Ive eatten everything I wanted and then even some I didnt just because I was bored.  I need to really focus the next week on eatting healthier.  It really makes a difference in the way I feel.  Just going up the stairs I can tell the difference from when Ive been eatting light and healthy compared to a day of greasy fattening food.  So I definately dont need that dragging me down next Sunday!!!

It's Friday!!!!!  I love the weekends!  I hope everyone has a great one!

What the heck?

I dont know what my deal is.  So after my post Tuesday I did go straight to the trail and ran 5 miles and thoroughly enjoyed it.  I felt really great about it.  Although through the course of the evening my back was really starting to bother me.  I have had some spuradic back pains since I used to work at a greenhouse several years ago.  I was constantly lifting heavy akwardly shapped things and eventually it started getting to me.  Anyway, its been hurting me more since Ive started running a lot and Tuesday night it was like everytime I moved.  Not so bad that I couldnt still go about my business but just a quick shooting pain when Id stand, bend, turn, etc.  Then yesterday I woke up really dizzy, room spinning dizzy.  I called off work because I didnt want to drive for 50 mins like that.  The dizziness went away before too long but Im wondering if its possible that its related to the back pain.  Atleast the 1/2 is in less than 2 weeks and then I'll ease up on the running and go back to some no impact exercise machines at the gym.  But Im enjoying running so much.  I dont want it to be something I cant do 

So no run yesterday but Im feeling a little better today and plan to do 6 miles tonight.  Im looking forward to it after all my laying around yesterday!

Skipped Workout

Well I was lazy last night.  I was hungry heading home from work (only because I got fattening fast food for lunch and therefore skipped an afternnoon snack) so I went straight home to eat dinner.  Now I get home by 4:30 so thats just silly for me to need to eat then.  Anyway, I ate.  And ate.  And ate some more.  Next thing I new it was 6:15 and I was still picking on things.  So I definately didnt have time for all my food to digest and go for a run before dark.  So I took half an hour of chill time and then headed out for a walk with my dog.  It was a nice change from my usual and Im sure she enjoyed it but I knew I should have done more.  The backside of my right knee has been tight and sore so I guess it wasnt bad to rest it a second day but still, I know that wasnt the reason I was lazy.  Tonight I absolutely have to get out there for a work out.  I have my bag packed with running shoes and clothes so no excuses.  Except that it might rain but I can still head straight to the gym and hit the treadmill if need be.  I WILL do it!

Skittles

Thats all I could think of the last two miles of my long run Saturday, Skittles.  It must have been some carb/sugar thing from the extended run.  I actually made it 12 miles!!!!!  I could hardly believe it!  I felt great the first 6 miles, good the next 2, then it was slowly downhill the next 4.  Its not that I ever felt horrible but just kinda that "Im done with this.  Id like to stop now." kinda feeling.  My legs were definately feeling heavy.  But man when I finished I felt great!  And yes I went straight to CVS all sweaty and gross and bought Skittles.  I didnt feel nautious like after my 9 miler but all night I was hitting the restroom.  (TMI, I know.)  I dont know what it is about those long runs that do that.  I was sore Sunday but not near as bad as my first run after my 2 1/2 weeks off and that was only 4 miles, so I think thats a good thing.  Part of me thinks if I can run 12 I'll be able to run 13, but another part of me thinks what if I used up all i had to make it those 12 miles...  I'll find out in 2 weeks.  Oh and I realized I'll be at the tail end of TOM for the half marathon, RRRRRR!

Food over the weekend was so-so.  Nothing too outrageous but not great either.  Thats kind of become my norm lately.  Im really going to have to refocus on food after the half. 

Another one down!

Well before I even got to the trail yesterday I decided to just go 5 miles.  My hips were hurting so bad I didnt want to make it worse.  They actually started feeling ever so slightly better around 3 but still really stiff and achy.  So I did my 5 miles, slowly, but felt really good aside from the continued hip joint stiffness.  Afterwards I was afraid Id made things a lot worse but this morning I woke up feeling much better than yesterday.  My hips are still achy but just noticable, not bad at all.  Yay!  Tonight I have a friend coming out right after work, so no run.  We are going over to my sisters to see her puppies.  My friend is taking one in a couple weeks and wants to meet it    Tomorrow the Buckeye game is a night game (which I love!) so plenty of time to get a run in that morning. 

Food was so so again.  I didnt go crazy chowing down but I didnt really limit myself either.  I feel much heavier than I did last week.  I did a little better this week with packing half the time for lunch.  If I could just do a little better with snacking at night.  I usually eat a reasonably sensible dinner but then have a dessert and maybe another snack later in the evening.

IT'S FRIDAY!!!  Yay!  I get to see my DH for more than my blurry have asleep hello-goodnight each night    There a night time Buckeye game.  I will have plenty of time to run.  Nice weather.  What a great weekend!  I hope everyone has a great one too!

Back at it

I finally did it!  I finally went out for a run again yesterday!  It felt so wonderful.  How quickly we forget the things we really enjoy.  The air was a little chilly (low 60's is very cool compared to the high 80's the last time I ran) but the air smelled great.  I am blessed to have a trail near by that follows a creek (my DH tells me its a river but its looks like a little creek to me) and is completely enclosed by trees, except for the open pastures through the cattle farm and Im one of those crazy people who think that smells wonderful too.  Anyway, fresh air all over the place and in just 2 1/2 weeks I forgot how nice that was.  I went slow and I only went four miles but I was more than proud of myself for getting back into it.  I just hope I have enough time to get back on track before the half marathon.  I had a long shot dream of finishing in 2 hours.  I know that is out of the question now but I still really want to run the whole thing.  With all the time I took off just before race day, Im not sure thats even possible.  I'll find out this weekend when Im supposed to run 12 miles.  Ive got a 7 miler scheduled for tonight but my hips are so tight from last nights run im not sure how itll go.

Food was better yesterday.  Well actually thats not true.  I had McD's for breakfast  but after that I did fairly well the rest of the day.  That just reminded me I was supposed to get on the scale today.  Probably just as well that I didnt because Im sure it is up a good bit. 

Fat Girl Brain

First, what is wrong with EP?  Friday it was soooooo slow.  I could barely look at anyones post.  I would have to click on someones blog, do something else for 10 minutes and then check and see if it had come up yet, click add comment, wait 10 minutes and see if that came up.  I figured it was just something that day but Today isnt going too much better so far.  Anyone else having this problem?

Anyway, I still have my fat girl brain.  I forget why I even decided this over the weekend but I was thinking about food for some reason or another, maybe what we were doing for dinner i dont know, but I realized I still think of food the way I did 30 pounds ago.  I still want every opportunity and excuse to eat as much and as bad as possible.  I still dont think of food as nourishment and choosing the right thing and the right amounts.  I still think too much about being satisfied with the tastes and amount of my food.  I would like some day to find a balance between enjoying food and making food choices on nourishment rather than cravings.