So I had a total pms crash yesterday.  I did ok at work, with just a couple extra mint hersey kisses, no biggie.  However, by the time I got home I was soooo tired from very little sleep the night before and topped with the pms.  I decided to skip exercise and go to bed early.  But thats not what happened.  I pretty much ate from 5:30 until 9 and then I watched the rest of biggest loser until 10.  So no exercise, tons of food, and I didnt get to bed early.  What the heck!?!?  Well atleast I wasnt up late again.  Today I've got all my meals planned out INCLUDING what I'll be having at home tonight.  I'm going straight to the gym after work and putting in a some extra time to hopefully make up a little from yesterday.  Im sure I totally busted any loss I could have seen on the scales tomorrow.  I'll probably see a gain    

It's just one day.  Sure its 2 days before weigh in so it will totally mess that up but its still just one day.  I can be on track today and next week and the week after and in the grand scheme still lose weight.  I just want my jeans to fit again soooo bad!  But Im not losing my excitement for all my goals over one day.  It's right back on track today!  I loved hearing that girl on the Biggest Loser say "Today is our Monday"  Every day is my monday.  Everyday is a chance to do it right.

Well I stayed up till 12:30 watching my Buckeyes battle it out with Texas last night and a little commentary afterwards.  Im so tired but it was sooo worth it.  What a great game!  It sucks that we didnt come out on top but we played well.  Everyone (by everyone I mean non-Buckeye fans) had pretty much written us off as over rated and figured itd be a blow out but we held our own.  More than that actually, we almost won, but Texas battled just as hard and got us. 

Ok so dieting...I snuck a peak at the scale today, down half a pound!  Not much but Im not rushing this so it progress in the right direction.  Ofcourse half a pound doesnt necessarily mean a weightloss.  It could have been just that I ate lighter yesterday than the day before my last weigh in, salt, water, bathroom schedule, TOM, whatever.  Still, Im looking at it as progress in the right direction and continuing that so I can see the same or maybe more on my actual weigh in thursday morning.

I was really really proud of myself yesterday exercisewise.  I had to run to the mall after work.  I never make it to the gym if I have anything at all to do after work, even if its just a few minutes.  So I headed home with plans of working out during the game.  The idea was becoming less and less appealing throughout the evening but I thought about it and knew I needed to get on that cross trainer.  So I did     About 20 mins into it I got a cramp in my side.  I rarely get cramps and Im pretty cautious about making sure I wait long enough after eatting and all.  However, when I did my long session on the cross trainer Saturday I got a pretty bad cramp and had to quit at 50 mins.  I was going for an hour but was ok with stopping at 50.  This time though it was only 20 mins in and I was just hoping to last til 30 mins.  Then I started worrying that this was my new thing, horrible cramp everytime I work out or something.  Well instead of stopping I slowed down for about 5 minutes.  I started feeling better and slowly picked it back up!  I finished the full hour!!!  Im great at exercising when its easy but I give up whenever something gets in my way so I was really really proud of myself for sticking to it last night 

Today, clothes are packed for the gym.  Although Im so tired I may bail on that again for the home exercise equipment after a little snooze.  Thats hard to do though, once I get lazy its hard to get that motivation back up.  I packed my breakfast and lunch, so no temptations there. 

Im not sure how I did for my first weekend.  I ws really good about not eatting continuously (which is what I do when I dont focus) and most of my choices werent horrible but I still feel like overall its no where near light enough to lose anything.  I got in a really great 50 minute cardio session on Saturday.  Sunday was lazy.  Today Ive got a nice long workout planned while I watch the Buckeye game....kinda nervous about that one!  Im really bummed that I wont get to watch it with DH    Buckeye games are just something we've always done together.  Plus its also the start back into a regular schedule.  I dont have a day off until Easter.  He has MLK Jr day off so that makes my day better too but for the most part we both have normal schedules for the next 3 1/2 months.  I miss him sooooo much during the week and then the weekends are gone so fast.  I cant imagine what it will be like if he ever gets on days.  It will feel like we have sooo much time together. 

But back to weight.  I have a feeling Im going to have to go back to counting calories because i just have no gage of how Im doing.  I will continue like this until I weigh in Thursday and I'll let that be my indicator of whether or not I can be successful w/o writing everything down.

So I made it through day one ok.  It wasnt much of challenge though    We pretty much laid around and slept on and off on the couch all day long.  DH and I decided thats what New Year's Day is made for.  So I didnt get much exercise but I know I'll stick to that pretty good all weekend so Im not worried.  Today I brought my breakfast but will go out for lunch.  I feel confident about making a good choice for that though.

Not a whole lot exciting to talk about today.  Another slow day at the office.  Most people took today as a vacation day so they didnt have to come in just for Friday but I dont get a lot of vacation days and didnt want to use them up too early.

I hope everyone had a safe New Year!

172.5.  Thats the damage.  I finally got on the scale this morning to see how much Id put back on.  9 pounds it is.  Im really disappointed that I gained that much back but I guess it could have been a lot worse.  Im excited to get that weight off, plus some more.  This means 18.5lbs to lose to reach my goal.  I can definately do that by May 25!  Its just over 20 weeks away so a little less than a pound a week.  I'll shoot for 1lb a week because I know I'll have some weeks with no loss.  I feel like Ive really got my motivation back.  I cant wait to feel all my clothes getting more and more comfy!  Im so excited for the weather to turn back towards spring and i can run again.

Tonight we are just going over to our nieghbors for a steak dinner and games/wii/poker or whatever we feel up to to bring in the new year.  I dont eat steak or any of the things we are fixing for sides so I'll probably make a sub or something.  So I dont plan on going crazy with food tonight even though my diet officially starts tomorrow.

Im ready to go home and its only 7:50am!!!  Its going to be a long day.  It always is when I have plans that night.

Well I made it through Christmas with out a gain, atleast as far as I can judge by my clothes.  Im still holding out until the 31st to get on the dreaded scale.  That will help me get a clear view of what I need to do to meet my 2009 goals.  I've gotten a few days of exercise in and plan to get a couple more in before I start hard core for the new year.  Food has been totally off track but not as bad as this time last year.  Ive got most of my goals laid out but will think about them some more and post them tomorrow or Wednesday.  I love running so a lot of them revolve around that but Id like to has another fitness goal besides a number on the scale and a time/distance.  Maybe thats too much too fast for me though, I dont want to be completely overwhelmed and quit.  Maybe I should stick with the weight and running goals and when I meet those then I can add a new challenge.

Well, like most people, the holidays have got me all out of sorts.  Partially I feel great that Im no where near where I was last year at this time!  Part of me feels horrible because Ive partially fallen off the wagon.  I've been busy with shopping and family parties, work parties, etc, but I know once that passes I'll get right back to working out.  Also there wont be quite as many dinners out or parties.  So I dont feel completely hopeless.  I feel like whats holding me back right now will soon pass.  Still, I have to get my motivation and determination back!  Ive decided to ride out the holidays doing my best not to gain rather than adding the stress of losing.  Hopefully that will keep me from going overboard. 

With that means a fresh start after the holidays.  So I'm thinking of my goals for 2009.  I've got some definate things Id like to do, like improve my half marathon time, run my best 5k time, etc, but DH and I are also playing around with the idea of trying to kids.  We are totally ready for us, but with the economy in the crapper its scary to think of being responsible for another life.  So anyway, that would drastically change the goals I set for the year one way or another.  I'll keep thinking about my goals, maybe even come up with two lists, an if kids list and a no kids yet list  .  I'll post them here before the new year.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful and successful Christmas or other holiday!

Well I think I jinxed myself at the Doctor monday.  He asked if I had any problems or anything bothering me.  I told him nope, nothing really, just the occasional migraine, typically each month before TOM but aslong as I am aware and take some excedrin at first sign Im fine.  He asked about the symptoms and I explained them all but how I dont always have them all.  He said that was normal.  Well yesterday I got a doozy.  The actual headache wasnt so bad, Excedrine did help with that, but I got ALL the symptoms.....blurry vision, extreme light sensitivity, nausea, disoriented....  The last hour of work I sat with my head in my hands, not from pain, but because I couldnt see straight and looking at anything made me feel more sick.  Finally full vision returned and I drove home but I was just wore out completely.  So no exercise yet again   I feel like Im doing everything wrong but I still dont feel hopeless.  For some reason I just feel like stuff got in my way and I'll be able to jump right back into it soon enough.  I know I will with exercise.  Its the food that kills me.  Today, however, I have eaten pretty good so far.  I even had a glass of V8 fusion, thats huge for me.  Tonight Im going to a cookie exchange.  I made cookies that I dont like so I wouldnt be eatting them all day when I made them and I wouldnt keep extras around.  I dont know about what people will give me but hopefully my DH will snag a bunch of them 

Did anyone catch the Biggest Loser finale?  Everyone looked so great!  Still I thought the point of going home and continuing the weightloss was to see how diet and exercise can be a part of daily life.  Vicki worked out an hour in the mornng and 3 hours after work!  Who does that forever!?!?!?  I understand that they were still trying to lose for the show but I want to see how these people manage to maintain that weight once they reach goal.  I wish there was a Biggest Loser Continued show.  Its one thing to see people eatting in a confined evironment and exercising all day long but Id love to see Jillian and Bob teaching them how to maintain day to day once they get to a healthy weight.  Obviously they have to commit to fitness forever but they cant possibely keep up the schedule they did on the show.

So that was what the scale said at the Doctors.  Im really disappointed in myself for not keeping it lower but at the same time I was fully dress in winter clothes, shoes and all, and because I had been nervous about my weight I hadnt gone to the bathroom all weekend (TMI, I know.)  So Im not looking at it at as an accurate weight.  Probably not off by as much as I hope but still not 100% accurate.  I've really got to buckle down now.  The good news is the doctor thought I was the picture of health.  He took a lot of blood to check some things, like anemia because its been a problem before, B12 because of skin discolerations, and cholesteral for a baseline for future reference.  But he doesnt expect to see anything bad, just an establishment check up since Im a new patient.

I totally lost mostivation for exercise over the weekend.  It was freezing cold and rainy the whole time and I just never wanted to leave the couch.  It warmed up a little on Sunday and I took my dog for a nice long walk but thats the most Ive gotten since Thursday.  I just keep finding excuses not to go to the gym.  I get wrapped up in Christmas shopping and need to get home.  Ive got plans to meet friends on different nights for the holidays.  Pretty much anything.  So tonight Im picking up some batteries for my crosstrainer at home and that way even if I dont head straight to the gym, Ive got all night at home to get in a workout.  Tonights the biggest loser finally and I know I'll be motivated to hop on the crosstrainer during that!