Not too bad

I was 317.2 on Sunday - not too bad considering we had 3 Thanksgiving dinners.

Awsome!!

I stepped on the scale this morning to find ANOTHER loss!!  Yeeeehaw!! 

I have to get back on track - back on track.

Behind Behind Behind....

Nope!  Actually I'm an ass!

I know better!  Why haven't I been keeping my thoughts in here?  Instead I have been dragging myself downwards into a deep dark hole. 

I hate who I am - I hate what I have become.

I had been doing so well - It's time to get back on track.  I need this!  I need to lose more weight.  I don't want to be a fat ass any more.

So behind

I've been so bad.  I'm ashamed to admit how bad I have been.

I am no where near what I want to be at these days.  I've been stuck on the same plateau for a month now basically.  I hate it.

I hate myself - I hate how fat I am - I hate how little I have done to make myself better.

Well One Week Down

Well this week I just focused on writing down everything I ate.  Next week it's keeping better track of calories.  I'm suppose to make sure I get in 1800 calories a day.  Doesn't sound like it's that hard, but when you forget to eat it adds up.

Next week is also adding in exercise.  I've decided that I'm going to go for a bike ride at night once the kids are in bed.  Nothing far, but just far enough to count. 

I will also be waking up early now with school coming.  I think I will just start my day when I get my daughter up on the bus.  Maybe I will use that time to workout.  Who knows for sure.  I know I'm good at a lot of talk when it comes to working out, huh sis?  LOL

Going for a hike today - I am counting that as some of my exercise for today.  My goal is a good 30 minute hike (15 out & 15 back) and then I will also count the steps I climb up a 5 story lookout tower.

It's Not A Normal Day

Even with the stress of my marriage last night I've still been managing to eat right for the last few days.

Got on the scale this morning - 321.4!!  YAHOO!!

I'm almost out of the 320s!  I can do it!!  I know I can!!

Starting towards my RNY w/dietitian consults

Starting back today counting calories and exercising.

Starting weight today:  323.4 

Up from where I've been, but better than where I was.  I can do it.  I think I can I think I can I think I can.......maybe.

Calorie Counting

Today starts my vigilant calorie counting and charting.

I have to show some improvements this month in my eating habits.  What I had been doing isn't enough any more - I've hit a plateau and I hate it!

Everything is a go....

I got the "approval" from my doc to go ahead for the 6 months of dietary supervision and phsyc eval. 

Does anyone know if I can put a tickerfactory ticker in here?

On My Way

I have started my journey towards weight loss surgery.  I know even with my dieting alone I'm never going to get where I'd like to be.

No.  I do not have unreal goals for myself.  I'd like to even get down to 160ish.  For some people that isn't a "low point" but for me when I started this at 340 it's quite a drop!

I went to my "class" which was their information session.  To see if we were scared out of taking this big step.  I'm not.  I also made sure to ask my morbid question about how many people he has had die from surgery.  Only 3 or 4 in YEARS!!  Why did I ask a morbid question like that?  I just lost a friend the week before during labor at the age of 24.  Not something that is suppose to happen to a vibrant young beautiful and healthy woman.

I go back on Thursday of this week to talk to the doctor by myself.  Hopefully by the time I walk would I will have my appointments with the dietian and the phsyc eval that I need set up.

I'm so ready to get this show on the road - I need to do this!  If not for myself and my own health reasons I need to do this for the kids.  I hate being the fat mom that doesn't want to do anything.  The fat mom that can't walk to the end of the driveway without being winded.  The fat mom that can't do aynthing that they want.  The fat mom that can't go on rides at the fair or even try for fear of what people will say.