With Ramadan about to start here, prayer call this morning (around 4:00am) was louder than usual and woke me. Ba ham bug! Anyway I awoke to the delights of an itchy rash all over my face and either something has bitten me, or I have hives on my tummy! Delightful!!!!! I want to peel the skin off my face! Sometimes I would break out in hives when I had eaten too much junk food, especially sugar and I would occassionally get a small patch of rough skin on my face, but it seems that what those foods did to me going in, they are doing in quadruplete on the way out!!! I think my skin is also more senstive right now, and just had a thought that going swimming yesterday could also be an aggravating factor - chlorine and sun! Blah!
Anyway, on a more positive note, my dear friend Joy arrived late last night (ahead of schedule) so am looking forward to seeing her this morning! So I won't linger too long...need to get out of my jami's and find something for my skin! Hope everyone has a lovely day!
I know, I know...said I wasn't going to weigh myself everyday! Just can't help it, I need to know the scales are going down even if it's miniscul! I'm trying not to do it everyday, but I've decided not to obsess about it. I've decided that even small losses are worth celebrating because they all add up!
Was a bit slow to start yesterday. Was quite tired after my unexpected exercise session the day before! But it picked up in the afternoon and cleaned house. Actually feeling pretty good today so have promised the kids that I will take them swimming today. Just need to watch that I don't overdo things like I'm apt todoing. Make sure I ration the output of energy so that I don't burn out. I have a tendency to do that. I seem to have a finite amount of energy that replenishes itself very slowly, and when I use it up, then it's crash and burn time! Whenever I have a bit of energy I then want to take on the world and do everything! I think it's that whole perfectionist thing!
Anyway, to the friends that are supporting me - thank-you very much and keep going because I gain so much from hearing about your lives and your progress and struggles with weight loss.
I took Tarryn and Daniel to Tae Kwan Doe this afternoon and in the process of helping Tarryn, I actually ended up joining the class! Boy, did I get a 'kick' out of it. Thought I was too fat and unfit to start, but actually I was more supple than I thought and actually managed. It put me on quite a high. I really like this feeling and want to continue with it. This has also given me the confidence to try out the dancing classes next. Something else that I keep putting off with the excuse that I'll do it when I get to a certain weight. Need to focus on enjoying my life now! There is no time like the present. And doing things that I enjoy now could mean the difference between sticking to a plan or not!
Actually got to the end of the day without the constant thoughts abot food and was sitting here at pc just now when I realised that I had forgotten to have any of my carbs today! Quickly munched on 2,5 Ryvita to ensure that I followed my diet today to the T!
On the plus side, I am now down 5.1kg. I think this is some sort of record for me for the past two years! On the minus, woke up this morning with swollen glandes - particularly bad in my armpits and my breasts are quite swollen and tender. I guess that my lymphatic system is in over drive! Trying to drink as much water as I can today. Anyway, hanging in there because I want this so badly!
Wow, I've got them again - taste buds! I'm actually really enjoying my food again and just had to share that. I can actually taste it again. It's strange but before I started, it was like I was eating and eating in anticipation of getting some sort of taste and pleasure from my food. But to no avail, it all tasted the same and I just mindlessly kept putting it in my mouth! I wasn't even hungry and yet that made me eat more!
I watched a biography on Jamie Oliver this evening and boy it struck a chord! First off what a pleasure it is to watch someone who is following their passion. Second was his drive to change the eating habits of children - which I really would like to do for my kids. And, thirdly that you can eat really wonderful tastey food that is quick and easy to prepare and that uses wholesome, fresh ingredients. Eating is such an important part of our culture. I gain immense pleasure from eating and feeding other people (something I haven't experienced for a long time!). Think I need to get hold of some of his cook books!
I also need to find my passion. There are a lot of things I enjoy doing but I don't think that I've yet found that 'thing' that makes me get up in the morning and think 'yay, another day I get to do some more....?" Or at least I haven't explored enough to find out whether any of the things I'm good at, is something I could be passionate about! |This lack of 'passion' leaves a dark hole inside that I have tried to fill or ignore by eating. I'm also a little terrified of putting myself out there, of perhaps ending up drawing attention to myself, when I have spent a life trying to blend in or just disappear!
Being overweight is such a complex combination of so many factors, from genetic predisposition, circumstances, emotional baggage, low self esteem, poor role models, lack of proper education in food choices, boredom, lack of maturity (trying to avoid responsibility), ingrained habits, addiction etc. I think to be successful with any diet plan and be able to maintain that weightloss in the long term, one has to untangle the bird's nest and deal with all the different factors. Some things I can change, and some things I need to accept and then get on with it! I can't change the fact that if I eat in a certain way, that my body responds in a negative way. After all these years, why would I think that I could eat flour, when time and again I have proven to myself that I can't!!!!
Well, here's to hoping that I'm breaking the vicious cycle for good this time as there are so many wonderful things to look forward to. From small things like being able to wear my wedding ring again and buying a standard size of clothing off the rack, to having the energy and confidence to pursue my passion (whatever that turns out to be)!
Okay, thought I would share a few of the new recipes that I've come up with - for those of you who may be interested. If doing a Sureslim or TLC program, then use your weight allowances for the ingredients listed. For those who don't have to worry about weighing your ingredients, these are still great low/fat healthy recipes that can be multiplied to feed a family. Though I cook the rest of the families recipe in a separate pot so that I don't mess up my quantities.
Mango Chicken:
In about 1 tsp of olive oil fry about a tblsp of chopped onion. When it becomes golden, add 1 chicken breast sliced into stripes and a tsp of crushed garlic. Once the chicken is cooked I add 1 to 2 zucchini thinly sliced, about half a can of diet coke (pepsi or TAB) and one mango (peeled and sliced). Put the lid on and allow to simmer until the zucchini is cooked and the mango has cooked down to form a thick sauce. Sometimes you may need to add a little hot water if the liquid cooks away too quickly. For those that like a touch of spice, add a little curry powder - yummy! I cook this up too for the rest of the family and serve with rice or spaghetti. You can also vary this dish by replacing the zucchini with eggplant.
Chicken whatever:
Again I lightly fry up about a tblsp of chopped onion in a little olive oil, then one chicken breast sliced and a tsp of crushed garlic. Once the chicken is cooked I add about a tsp of tomato puree (make sure it is pure tomato with no sugar or additives), 1 tsp of soy sauce and about one medium sized zucchini (or eggplant) diced. I add enough diet coke to just cover the ingredients and let it simmer till if forms a nice thick sauce.
Chicken patty with sauce:
Ground one chicken breast in food processor. Add 2 crushed snackbread, gluten free snackbread or ryvita, 1 tsp of light mayonnaise, 1 tsp finely chopped onion, 1/2 tsp crushed garlic, salt and pepper and pinch of italian seasoning. Form the ingredients into patty shape and stick in the freezer for about 5 to 10 minutes and then fry in a little olive oil or olive oil spray, or bake in the oven at about 180 degrees C for about 10 minutes or until cooked.
The sauce - Marinate half a tomato and one eggplant cut into chunks, in a tsp of balsamic vinegar and tsp of olive oil with black pepper. I stick it into a ziploc bag - easiest way to cover the veges. If you have time marinate it for at least 30 min and then roast the veges under the grill. Just before serving I quickly pop the veges in the blender for a quick blitz (not too fine) and serve ontop of the chicken patty. This one takes a bit more time but you'll feel like you are having a gourmet meal!
Yet another chicken recipe:
A nice easy meal on the program! 1 chicken breast cooked, add about 1 medium sized cucumber finely diced, 1 tblsp of lightly fried onions (use olive oil spray or similar), 1 tsp of light mayo and black pepper. Serve alone or on rice cakes, ryvita or snackbread. For the rest of the family I add a little bbq sauce to the mix and serve it inside wholewheat pita breads or tortillas.
One of my favourite breakfasts is to take an apple, core and slice it into bite size pieces, pour enough diet 7 Up, or sprite to cover and sprinkle with cinnamon. I stick it in the microwave on high for 2 minutes and then pour one low fat plain yogurt over the top and sprinkle with a tsp of sesame seeds.
Day 9 and feeling much better! I did weigh myself again this morning - said I wouldn't do it for a week.... Anyway, only moved 0.2kg down but I just measured myself and I have lost just over 9cms in total! I'm still not feeling terribly energetic yet, but I'm trying to be patient and let the reserves build up a bit!
I am so determined this time and one of my greatest motivators is my children. Looking at my son I accept that unfortunately, he has inherited my predisposition to gaining weight. He has gotten quite chubby and thanks to me, quite sedentary. When one homeschools you need to make that much more of an effort to ensure that the kids are active - especially here since we live such an indoors life (particularly over the summer with temperatures soaring over 40 degrees C). Because I am always too tired (and too fat) to move, I am slowing my whole family down! And my poor food choices have become their poor food choices! My son is hitting a 'chubby' state now that is not something he is going to grow out of. So definitely need to expend some energy in encouraging him to eat better too. My daughter is still a skinny little thing, but I was too at that age, and in fact I was quite lean until going on the pill at 18 - then the battle started! Then the poor food choices I made, started to effect me.
In particular wheat flour is like poison to the woman in my family and it reaks havoc on our physcial and mental wellbeing. The same thing in my husbands side of the family where it effects both men and women equally (IBS and caeliacs disease etc) - so really my kids are getting a double whammy of it! I don't want them to struggle the way I have so I need to set a better example.
Hubby is now also suffering. He wa always really thin and never put on weight despite eating like a horse! Gradually over the past 2 to 3 years he has put on a bit of a tummy, but still not too bad. But then he hit 35 and it seems to all have caught up with him in one fell swoop! High blood pressure (and I mean heart attack high!), slightly elevated cholesterol, reflux that has led to fluid building up in his lungs and causing him to cough persistently and it seems he may have developed sleep apnea (still waiting for outcome of sleep study on Saturday)! For the first time in his life he is having to take all sorts of medications and go on a diet! Although I don't wish ill health on him, or anyone, I am grateful that this wake up call means that he is now more concerned about and involved in the food we buy and eat. It is so much easier to make lifestyle changes as a whole family, rather than as one individual going against the grain.
Well this is the start of week 2! Struggled with my water intake today and really need to work on that! Didn't get much done today. Kids kind of schooled themselves on their computers today and visited a friend this afternoon - good to hang out with a skinny girl to remind me of what I'm aiming at! At least now that I feel I am doing something about the weight that works, I don't feel so self conscious, like the hippo hanging out with the giraffe! Beginning to feel a bit more comfortable in my skin again!
Well I have made it to day 7. I am retaining quite a bit of water at the moment, but I know it will pass ('scuse the punn!) The scale hasn't budged in the last two days and I have to remind myself that this is part of the process. The way this diet works you go through periods of first breaking down the fat (where you are loosing cms even if scale isn't budging) followed by a period of elimination (where you need to know where the nearest loo is at all times and the scales definitely budge!) - this is when the drinking of water is really important to help your body get rid of the stuff it has just dissolved! I remember when doing this diet before that, especially, when you are getting down to the stubborn fat, you can actually see where pockets of the stuff have disappeared! Things eventually smooth out as you loose all the lumpy stuff, but I can remember that at times I wasn't even asymmetrical! Sometimes when you hit a pocket of cellulite you can temporarily feel some of the side effects of whatever is stored in there (headache, skin break out etc.) Kind of a scenario of whatever the junk did to you going in, it can sometimes do again on it's way out as it recirculates in your body! Knowing this upfront helps one to ride these hiccups as you know it is part of the process and you are loosing fat! And on that note, I had better get this day going as I want to give the house a good clean before the week starts. Our weekdays run from Saturday to Wednesday and weekends are Thursday and Friday!
Okay, to distract myself from my well of self pity thought I would tell you a bit more about myself - as inspired by my friend's blog.
I'm 36 years old, married and mother of two children - son age 9 and daughter age 5 and zookeeper (at one stage we had 10 cats, but are now down to 6). I'm the product of an American mother and a South African father and am currently living in the middle east - talk about cultural confusion! I'm currently homeschooling the kids and hope they will survive the experience! I'm something of an 'accidental' homeschooler having found here that there were no schools that a) have places available and b) that we felt were safe. It has been a steep learning curve for me and the kids! Thankfully I have a dear friend here that has been homeschooling for some time and she has been a great support while I have fumbled my way around.
I find that the lifestyle here is very geared to eating. Makes it difficult when you are trying to avoid food, or at least certain types of food! Anyway I am currently follow the TLC Lifestyle plan and for anyone interested you can find out more at www.forwellbeing.com I've had to come up with strategies to cope with things like social situations etc. so that I'm not tempted to stray from my plan. It's also hard being at home so much and having such easy access to the fridge! There is also a resturant and a supermarket on the compound - adding to the ease with which I can get to more food!
My other interests (outside of eating) are quilting, embroidery, sewing, drawing, painting - water colour, accrylic and oils, silk paiting, beading, card making, really anything creative I love to try, reading and music. All of which I just don't get enough time for, or at present have the energy for! By doing this program I know that I will end up with more energy and time for the things that I love to do.
