| Height: | |
| Start weight: | 98.00kg |
| Current weight: | 75.60kg |
| Goal weight: | 58.00kg |
| Lost to date: | 22.40kg |
| Remaining: | 17.60kg |
| 8 |
| January '09 |
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I did check in, but only posted comments on other people's blogs in the last two days. Just didn't get around to posting anything on mine! Anyway, doing okay. Still not getting much sleep. Ate too much at dinner tonight, but otherwise I've been doing alright. Had a little beef last night, and low and behold, hives again - what is it about beef?????
And on that note, I'm off to bed!
Well just reading back through my blog and reckon it reads like the chronicles of a manic depressive – or the journey of an addict – food addict! My gosh it is a bumpy road! I’m up, great, no I’m down, bummer, wait..I’m up again..whoosh…nope I’m down, back again, down again…man it’s exhausting! It would be so nice to find some middle ground where I make steady progress without such extremes. So to all of you out there following this and supporting me, thank-you, you are the one steady, constant in my life right now.
So have started back in Chapter 1 of Louise L. Hay’s book (LLH). “Basic Techniques”
“I am willing to change.”
All abroad!
I'm really having a mixed bag of days at the moment. Today was another really bad day. I finally feel asleep last night as the sun was rising, only to have one of the kittens scratching on the window a little while later to come in! Tried to get back to sleep again, but really just napped - too tired to get up, but not able to sleep! I was in a lot of pain again last night - sharp pain just under my ribs and my back in complete spasm. Tried to use those stick on patches, but after 20 min my skin started to burn. Eventually dragged my body out of bed around midday and lay in the bath for a while - only place that seems to give me some relief! My body feels like a led weight!
Anyway, things are picking up again this evening and I'm feeling a bit better. Really trying to get myself motivated again. Though I'm not pigging out as bad as I have in the past, I'm still not eating consciously! My eating has been quite erractic the past week. I'm eating at all sorts of different times. Somedays I'm only have one meal and snacking the rest, and I'm eating way too late into the night too!
I wish that I could stop this rollercoaster. I feel like I take one step forward and two steps back, or I just keep going round and round in ever increasingly smaller circles and keep ending up in the same rotten place.
Went searching for as many success stories as I could find tonight in the hopes of kickstarting myself again. I find it really does help to look at other people's before and after pics and read some of their postings - it helps me feel like this is possible. Reading about their journeys I realise that so many other women have gone through the same stuff, and some have started over and over, and they just kept picking themselves back up and ploughing on. And it does get easier!
One of the biggest keys seem to be the blogging. it really does help to write. It's like having a 'dear diary' that can answer back! I'm feeling so much at the moment and I feel quite overwhelmed and confused, but a part of me says that this is part of the process and to ride it out as it's necessary to find lasting weight loss and self love. it's not easy feeling this vunerable and to be flooded with so many issues that are rising up and my natural tendency to turn and run,or hide my head in the sand, when things get difficult is ever present!
Last night I bought myself a huge vegetarian cookbook - I swear it weighs about a kilo! When I'm not using it for weight lifting I think I will plan some menus! Brownbabe,I like your idea of taking things 1 week at a time. I'm going to try this. I think I will also set myself some rewards for each week that I stick to the goals I set out for myself. Perhaps some weekly insentives will get me going again and get me past the starting blocks!
Okay: targets for week 1starting Monday 23 Oct:
1. Blog every day
2. Eliminate wheat flour from diet
3. Drink 2 litres of water per day (min 1 litre, but optimum is 2)
4. Eat 5 to 6 times per day, no longer than 3 hours between meals.
This is all I'm going to concern myself with for the next week. I'm not going to worry too much about which foods I'm going to eat - what ph the food is, what combinations of protein to starch, etc. Just these 4 things and then re-access next Monday. This is about whether I can stick to the goals I set for myself.
Reward: I will go for a pedicure
Just received a pic today from the 'baby shower'! This is a more recent pic. Notice the look of discomfort! At least my face didn't show up bright red. But oh, it is awful to see oneself in all your glory!
Otherwise doing okay just pretty tired from lack of sleep. Have not had meat all week and while I could still do better diet wise, one step at a time.
Last night I ate a handful of french fries and my teeth felt really awful afterwards. I scraped my one tooth and realised that they were coated in fat! Uggh!
Finally decided that I need some household help as I'm just not coping with everything at the moment. So starting next week a lady will come clean twice a week for 3 hours. I'm really hoping this will help me get on top of everything. Next week should be fairly relaxed since it will be Eid and though hubby is on standby, he hopefully will be around a bit and I will get a bit of a break and a chance to recover from the past few weeks.
More soon...
Nice surprise this morning when I hopped on the scale. I'm down again. Back to 93.9 which is where I started blogging - full circle. I had a good day eating wise today. I'm trying a new strategy - it's called learning to listen to my body!
So breakfast was scrambled egg with salmon and an orange. Lunch was a salad with mozzarella. I probably have not drunk enough water today, but by the same token I haven't had anything fizzy or anything with caffeine. I had tea with soy milk and no sugar.
My strategy for this week is this:
1. Drink plenty of water
2. Eat no wheat flour
3. Eat when I'm hungry
4. Eat no red meat or chicken
When this feels natural then I will refine my diet further. I've always felt that to suceed at loosing weight and regaining my health I had to follow a plan. A plan set out by someone else who knew better than me. I did not trust my ability to know what was best for me. Somehow any plan I followed had to have someone else's stamp of approval or it wouldn't be valid! I'm not sure now whether I will still need an appointment with Dr Cohen, but I won't cancel it just yet! I'd like to see how I go and reaccess how I feel closer to the time!
Anyway, I feel like I am making progress and I am actually starting to enjoy the process. I'm still horribly tired, but I think if I take things slow and I listen carefully then this too will pass.
...life happens and sometimes decisions are made for us. Been doing a lot of research on the pH levels of different foods and how it affects our bodies and minds. This led me down some un-expected roads and I found myself reading about the affects of milk, feedlot or battery raised animals and what these animals are fed etc. that ends up in us! Quite an eye opener! Years ago I did go vegetarian for about a year following the birth of my son - I just couldn't face meat towards the end of the pregnancy and it lasted for a while. I also dabbled with being vegetarian in my early twenties but it didnt' last long before I was suckered by a juicy hamburger!
Anyway, something seems to have changed. It's as if while I was trying to make up my mind about what path to follow with regard to food, my body made it's mind up! I've been going off meat for a while now. It seems to have become tasteless to me. I had a spurt of eating red meat in the second week I was on the TLC and then broke out in hives. Last week I ate steak one night and came out in nasty hives again. That had just about cleared when I ate a hamburger on Wed evening and it flared up again. Just to make sure, I ate a steak again last night and I suffered all night!
Today it's like a switch went off in my head and I can't even bear the thought of meat - red meat or chicken! Went to lunch with hubby today and ordered roast chicken. When it arrived I could barely look at it much less eat it! I ate the steamed veges and the boiled potatoes but was absolutely repulsed by the chicken! Went fabric shopping tonight to get some fabric to make the kids costumes and stopped off at KFC on the way home and I felt absolutely no compulsion to eat anything there. Told hubby I would eat some of his fries - but amazing thing there too - I ate a few but really didnt' enjoy the taste and threw them in the bin at home. I opted instead for rice cakes with avocado! What happened???????
I suppose I shouldn't question it - just go with the flow. This week I really want to focus on educating myself and the kids (and maybe even hubby!) on eating well. I have an almost overwhelming desire to become a health nut! I think that being here to start with is so unhealthy. There doesn't seem to be any kind of environmental control on pollution and so many people suffer with allergies here as a result of the air we breathe. To then add an unhealthy diet to the concoction just seems like a recipe for disaster! I want so much better for my children that this seems to be the one thing that has been able to get through to me. I really hope that I can follow this through as the kids deserve so much better.
I hope that everyone has had a good day. Hang in there!
Well the last week just flew by in a blur and I'm still trying to catch my breath. The car that I talked about in an earlier blog was gone by the time we went back...bah humbug! We realised that we could not deliberate too long if we found another car and if we found something and we liked it, it checked out at the inspection centre and the price was right - well then we'd have to make a quick decision and not keep looking to see if there might be anything better! Eventually on Tuesday evening my husband found a car. it is not a Land Cruiser, it's a Nissan Patrol and it was well within our budget - yeah! He was so fixated on the LC, but they are just so expensive. But I was still quite surprised when he said he had found the car and it turned out to be a Nissan! And I am so relieved that is now done. Feel like we can get on with our lives again ..... all this for a car!!!!!
On the weight loss front -not much to report. At least not much that is good! I really wasn't very careful with what i ate over the past two weeks. This last week I was ill so I lost my appetite for a few days so the overall damage isn't too bad. I'm up again by about a kilo. Had another episode of hives as well as the whole streaming nose, aching body and headache that lasted all week!
On the positive side though, I managed to get an appointment to see Dr Cohen when we are on holiday in Perth! I've also been doing a bit of research into pH levels in the body and a lot of what I've read about an acidic body makes sense to me. Came accross a good site if anyone is interested www.snyderhealth.com So at long last a plan of action is forming. Planing to have a good week this week and get the ball rolling again.
My focus for this week is to drink lots of water, stick to alkaline and low acid foods and clear out the junk from the kitchen cupboards! It it isn't there, it can't taunt me!
Sorry for absence! Been sick - again! Got car! Been doing some interesting research. Have appointment with Dr Cohen in Perth. Tired! Bed! More tomorrow!
love to everyone!
hi everyone!
Too tired to right much tonight - actually early morning of tomorrow! Walked car souk for 7 hours last night and about 3 hours tonight before we decided that we'd had enough! Have pretty much settled on a car now and tomorrow hubby will have quick look around souk and if there is nothing better then he will take the one car we found. If it's still there!! Either way I hope this is the end of all the car hunting!
Here's a little something that I found that I thought I would share.
October 6, 2006
Where You Need To Be
Timing Can Be Everything
Since human timetables quite often do not correspond with universal timetables, it's common for people to feel that life is progressing too slowly or too quickly. We draft carefully composed plans only to find that they fall into place when we least expect. Or, conversely, we are thrust into roles we believe we are not prepared for and wonder how we will survive the demands imposed upon us by unfamiliar circumstances. When delays in our progress kindle pangs of disappointment within us or the pace of life seems overwhelming, peace can be found in the simple fact that we are exactly where we need to be at this moment.
Every person fulfills their purpose when the time is right. If you have fast-tracked to success, you may become deeply frustrated if you discover you can no longer satisfy your desires as quickly as you might like. Yet the delays that disappoint you may be laying the foundation for future accomplishments that you have not yet conceived. Or the universe may have plans for you that differ from the worldly aspirations you have pursued up until this point. What you deem a postponement of progress may actually represent an auspicious opportunity to prepare for what is yet to come. If, however, you feel as though the universe is pushing you forward at too fast a clip, you may be unwittingly resisting your destiny. Your unease regarding the speed of your progress could be a sign that you need to cultivate awareness within yourself and learn to move with the flow of fate rather than against it. The universe puts nothing in your path that you are incapable of handling, so you can res! t assured that you are ready to grow into your new situation.
You may feel compelled to judge your personal success using your age, your professional position, your level of education, or the accomplishments of your peers as a yardstick. Yet we all enjoy the major milestones in our lives at the appropriate time-some realize their dreams as youngsters while others flourish only in old age. If you take pride in your many accomplishments and make the most of every circumstance in which you find yourself, your time will come.
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Despite the fact that I didn't really stick to plan this week, it seems that I have been more moderate though and have still lost some weight! It's not a lot, but it's enough to motivate me again.
I've now had a definitive 'no' from Dr Cohen's people so I am onto plan B, which is do an old plan! With just 8,5 weeks to go until we leave, I am feeling the pressure! Getting back onto the program did not go quite according to plan as on Tuesday evening I ended up plodding the second hand car souk with hubby till after 2 am! Anyway, I have still been making better choices and this weekend DH has agreed to help me get on top of the housework and get organised for the week!
This morning we are off to the car souk again, and we will probably go again tonight as time is running short and he will soon be without a car since his has sold. The fact that it is Ramadan here makes it that bit more difficult as the hours that everything is open are screwy! Anyway, wish us luck!!!
Otherwise, I feel like life in general is coming together. I'm getting a clearer picture of how I ended up here and this makes it much easier to figure out where to now.
