4.4kg and counting

Well i have made it to day 12!  Two days ago I weighed in at 90.4kg.  I can't remember when last I got this low!  It has certainly been more than 2 years.  In another few days I should drop down below 90kg!  I actually believe that I will do it this time, the LAST time!

As promised I finally got round to downloading my photos and have added the picture of Lynette, Cloe' and myself at Hilary's Beach, Perth, WA.  Oh boy, am I ever unphotogenic - more ammunition for this diet!

I've managed to check in on a few people, but there are still more to go.  Sorry, it has been slow as I've spent the last two weeks recovering from the jetlag and sorting and cleaning the house - BIG TIME.  I really want everything organised so that this year can run as smoothly as possible.

Tonight we are off to see Joy!  Very last minute decision - decided yesterday.  They were going to come this way, but her hubby has had such a full on week that he didn't feel upto to the 5 hour drive.  My husband generously agreed to letting me still get my 'Joy fix', so tonight we will be trekking her way for the weekend.

More soon.  Hope everyone is doing well.  Let's make this year count together.

Back again!

Phew!  Well I’m home again and there is so much to tell you all – I’m not sure where to start! 

 Actually I should start with Happy New Year!  I wish you all the very best this year.  I hope that you all had a wonderful Christmas and that whether or not you over indulged, you have started the new year on a positive note.

 I really missed everyone over the holidays.  I feel so disconnected when I can’t get in touch!  What would I do without the internet and email?????  Just now I’ll go around and check up on everyone!

 The holiday was great.  Perth is a really beautiful city.  Blue skies, Swan River that snakes around the city, endless gorgeous beaches, loads of parks everywhere and a real multi-cultural community.  We fished, we ate, we picnicked, we saw kangaroos and koalas (of course!), we shopped, and just generally had a wonderful time with family.  My mother in law even managed to not mention my weight more than once a week (or so)!  And best of all I got to meet Lynette in person.  She is as wonderful in person as she is on-line. 

 I also went to Cohen’s lifestyle clinic and got my programme.  I started it on the 6th January and am already amazed at the difference in how I feel compared to when I did the TLC or Sureslim diet.  I stared on Saturday at 94.8kgs and by Monday was down to 92kg.  I know most of this will be water retention, but it feels so good to be going down.  I havent’ seen 92kg in a very long time and it most definitely feels better than 98kgs!  Now I just need to control the urge to weigh myself every day and keep it to once a week.

 So far my programme has been really easy.  I’m not craving sugar or flour any more which is a big plus, but I still have to watch for my reflex – you know the one where you find the food in your mouth before you even realize you put it there!  Yesterday I almost ate the last chicken nugget on my daughter’s plate and today I had to catch myself when it came to the last bit of her chocolate – it was quite empowering to hear myself tell her to either put it in the fridge or throw it away!  So many times I treated my body like the garbage disposal, eating the scraps off of everyone else’s plate.  Now I’m having to be so aware because you can’t even lick anything off your fingers – not unless it’s something I’m allowed to eat and it’s eating time!

 I like that I don’t have to think too much on this program.  The choices are limited and the food is easy to prepare.  I just need to make sure that I keep it varied enough.  Anyway, so far, so good! 

 This year my focus is on getting rid of my excess baggage, educating the kids and hopefully getting them on parr with the Australian system and getting everything organized to hopefully immigrate to Perth in a year or so.  In between I’d also like to have a bit of fun and get creative!

 And on that note, I need to go check on all of you as well!

Merry Christmas!

The last week has been quite hectic. Been getting everything ready for our trip down under.  It also seems like the few times that I did manage to get on the pc, extrapounds was out of action!  Anyway, just in case I don't get the chance to get on the internet while I'm away, I want to make sure that I wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!  I hope that you all have a wonderful time with family and friends and that you don't beat yourselves up over the food that you enjoy! 

Thank-you to everyone who has supported me since I started blogging here.  And by sharing your own stories too, I feel like I've gained so much.  While my weight loss to date has been minimal, I know that it is do-able and next year I will do ilt!  Blogging here has certainly helped me gain perspective again and to deal with some of the issues I have that prevented me from loosing in the past - or being able to keep it off! 

See you all again real soon.  If I can I will check on everyone from Oz!  Love to everybody!

Still alive and kicking!

I'd had a lovely break with Joy in her new house.  It's such a break to let someone else make the food decisions for a week!  Thank-you again Joy!

It's been raining here since I got back which has affected our internet.  Today is the first day I've managed to get on for longer than 5 minutes!  And this morning EP was on the blink and said I didn't exist - boohoo!  Thankfully, it seems that I am back again now!  Whew, panick over!

I didn't loose any weight on my mini-break, but then I didn't put any on either - so neither here, nor there.  See Dr again tomorrow to discuss options for controlling the Fibromyalgia and as for the rest of it, I'm putting it on hold till we get back from Australia.  10 days and counting till our holiday!  I can actually start to get excited now as our passports are already back from Dubai and have been submitted for our exit/re-entry visas for this place.   Was starting to wonder if it was going to happen at all.

One of the things I'm most looking forward to is getting to see Dr Cohen again and getting a diet program for him.  Yes, I'm sure everyone gets as excited over this prospect during their holidays!!! :-)  But I guess it's a sign of just how low I am now, how determined I am to do this and how much faith I have in his program to change my life.  I know that once I take that first step, I won't look back!

Read a great article a few days ago in an Oprah magazine from April 2006 (South African version).  "Do you think you're beautiful?"   It was all about that little voice in your head that either laughs at you or says really mean things to you when you look in the mirror.  About how we percieve ourselves against how other's precieve us.  What we think other people see, and what other people do see.  There was another article too called " Love Me, Love My Imperfections" - about women with less than perfect bodies, who through self acceptance, draw people to them like a magnet.  And there was so much more there, more than I am able to put here.  If you can get hold of these articles - they must have been in other issues of the Oprah Magazine in the US too. 

It has made me think long and hard about accepting myself as I am right now and being able to find more positive things about myself as I am right now.  Things that don't have to do with what size I am.  This isn't to say that I'm not going to still work at developing a healthier body, but rather that this isn't the only yard stick by which I am going to measure my worthiness.  I know that if I want to successfully complete Dr Cohen's program this time, then I need to accept myself now - as I am.

Anyway, it's now very late so I had better head off to bed.  The next 10 days are going to be somewhat hectic with all the things that need to be done before I leave.

As always, my love to everyone.  Even if I haven't written on your blog, it doesn't mean I haven't read what you've said or thought about you!   Remember to say nice things to yourselves and that you are good enough, just as you are.

Well here I am...

...and blogging from Joy's new house!  Makes a nice change especially with Joy cooking!  So far I haven't done any sewing - just don't have the energy for it, but I have painted some buttons!  I have no idea how I'm doing weight wise, and I haven't been particularly careful the past few days - eating bread, meat and cookies.  So am not feeling particularly wonderful.  Trying to do better today as everything hurts enough now that I can't ignore it!

Saw Rhuematologist last week before we left and he diagnosed fibromyalgia.  Verdict is still out on Lupus as he won't do any further tests until tests that GP prescribed are done.  Had the blood drawn for that but then medical aid said they wouldn't authorise it unless I saw a specialist!  So specialist wrote referral stating that I need the tests.  Phoned medical aid and they say with surprise - well off course you can have those tests!  So why the blazes can't they just okay it in the first place.  Whole point of GP sending me to specialist was to test for Lupus.  AAAAHHHH!

Have had to move date of departure to Oz, from the 4th to the 7th as husband has to go on a management course.  Means that I will be arriving on the day that I should have had blood tests done for Dr Cohen in Perth.  Waiting to see now if they can make another plan as I'm desparate to do his diet.  Even if it doesn't help with everything, it will hopefully help with the weightloss which may make it easier to get other health issues sorted. 

Anyway, enough feeling sorry for myself...need to go paint some more buttons.

Progress..I think?

Sorry guys, know I've been real slack of late.  While I managed a lot of other things last week, blogging was not one of them!  Finally got back to my GP last Wednesday and had some more blood tests done and got a referral to a Rhuematologist.  This felt like progress, but then the medical pulled their usual nonsense and declined to pay for the blood tests, saying I needed to see a specialist!!!  Oh man I could just scream...aaaaaahhhhh!

People are very unhappy with them and company is currently collecting all the complaints in writing for review next year March.  Anyway, the doc I'm seeing on Monday evening isn't  on the preferred list so we'll have to pay and then hopefully the medical aid will refund us 80%.  I won't hold my breath!

Otherwise overdid things on Friday.  We went to walk around the runes of a city here that is 500 years old.  Pretty amazing, but I wasn't expecting to walk so much and although I tried to take it easy I've been really paying for it the past two days.  Anyway I hope that I'll start to get some answers soon as this is really frustrating.

Our visas for Australia are now in Dubai and hopefully (everybody cross your fingers and toes please!) we will get them by the 30th November.  This leaves us a few days for hubby's company to get our exit/re-entry visas for Saudi sorted and then (with a dash of pray and hopefully not too much stress) we will be on our way!  I'll believe we are actually going when I'm on the plane and we are in the sky!

Thanks for hanging in there with me!

The will continues..

Well, I was right and yesterday I wasn't able to go at the same pace as the day before.  I crawled out of bed a bit later, but not as late as I could have, I still did school with the kids, ate well and still managed to keep the house respectable.  These days, in my current book, this is good!

Today we tried to get our visas for Australia sorted, but seem to be hitting some obstacles!  Hubby has lost one of the letters we need from the company,so will now have to apply again asap and it just seems like everytime you speak with the visa people here, something else is different!  Anyway, after worrying about it and unburdening on poor Joy, decided to let it go and what will be will be.  I cannot always be responsible for everything and for everyone and I refuse to feel quilty about it!

Otherwise, other than a few leftover sweets from Halloween, I ate pretty well again today, house is respectable and I did 3 hours of ironing.  Unfortunately didn't get any schoolwork done today, but I still feel like it was a good day.  I got through the day productively even though I was tired and my body really, really hurt.

Now I'm off to bed for an earliesh night (would actually have liked to be in bed at around 7:00!) and it's now 10:00 - but hey it's not midnight! I'm always going to sleep when it's already tomorrow - would like to go to bed today for a change!

Sheer will power!

Well I had a crappy weekend!  I had a round of whatever my hubby had the week before.  Keep telling him that he does not need to share everything with me!!!  But, despite being really tired this morning I forced myself up and into the shower - using sheer will power!  Boy, if I could just harness that power 24/7..

I did some planning for the day, got stuck into the piles of stuff collecting everywhere, cleaned, did several loads of washing (are you still with me?), finally made an appointment with the doctor (enough procrastination!), made app for Tarryn to see dentist next week, did some schoolwork with Daniel (instead of him going it alone on the PC as has been the case the last few weeks), went to visit a friend (before I turn into a bonified hermit!), I ate well and I actually made two meals while I was at it this evening - loads of bollagnaise sauce and my chicken mango dish ( so half of the bollagnaise went into the freezer and chicken for tomorrow night)!  I'm tired now, but I am feeling right smug with myself!!

So off to bed now to see if I'm able to get out of bed again tomorrow.  I don't have as hectic a schedule lined up for tomorrow, but I'm hoping to keep the momentum going.

I'll check in on everyone tomorrow.  Hope you have all had a good day.  Lots of love to you all.

Try, try again!

Quick update.  The system keeps gulping my posts - so hopefully this one makes it.  I've had an okay week.  Managed to slither down to 93.6kgs somehow.  Despite eating out at the restaurant just about everyday while Joy was here.  Think I was making better choices, though I was still eating too much.  As for my other goals i've managed to stay off the flour about 90% of the time, really slack on the water and managed to get to bed before midnight half the time (stil didn't sleep though!)

So for now, just going to stick to working at staying off the flour, getting in more water, and getting back into a better sleeping pattern.

Now hold thumbs, cross toes....any gremlins insite????

Just a quickie!

Well I'm all halloween'ed out!  Sew (sewed?nah) like a mad woman the past two days to get the kids costumes finished!  One of these days I will learn to do things in good enough time so that I'm not always doing things under such pressure!  Anyway, the kids had a great time.  They already made big inroads into their loot - hope everybody sleeps tonight!

Joy is busy settling into her new home and we are already planning our next visit!!  This time I think that we will go down to her!  Surprisingly I actually lost some weight while she was here, even though we ate at the restuarant often - I did try to make better choices but still ate too much!  And I definitely did not drink enough water.

Oh well, so it goes ... I will do better!  Hope you are all hanging in there.