Chaos reigns supreme!
It's one of those times in life where it feels like everything is happening at once! I have a house full of builders who have started making some alterations to our villa, I'm trying to finish a whole lot of quilt squares for two friendship quilt projects - one with Joy and some other ladies, and one for the quilt quild - which are all due asap! No homeschooling is getting done with half the house in shambles and under plastic covers and we are trying to make some plans for our summer holidays as well as long term plans to get out of here!
Then to top it all I had quite a confrontation yesterday at Taekwondo with the parents of one really rude, disrepectful little boy! Now I'm generally a very mild mannered person who avoids confrontations at all costs. But, yesterday this little boy pushed the limit to breaking point. Our Sensei (teacher), another young woman (black belt) and myself had all given him ample warnings to behave himself and he still persisted. After being asked for the umpteenth time to quit fooling around and show the appropriate respect in class, he retaliated by saying he didn't have to listen to anyone with "boobs"! Well Heather and I lost it at that point! I marched him out of the class as we had threatened to do. At this point he still thought it was funny!
It wasn't so funny by the time he arrived home and obviously realised that his troubles had only just started! He burst into tears and he parents horribly over-reacted and barged into the class guns firing (not literally, I'm speaking figuratively!). They simply could not believe that their little angel could possibly be a brat who has been pushing the limits for months now! These are the same parents who insisted that the brat (sorry to use such a strong word) be given a yellow belt because everyone else in the class had one - not because he had earned it! Anyway, after a very heated confrontation, they eventually conceded that they had over-reacted and that there son was in fact in the wrong! They apologized to me but the whole incident has still left a really bad taste in my mouth!
But I have learned some things from this! I learn't that even when the sort of thing I really hate, like confrontation happens, I no longer need to run to the kitchen to comfort myself! I'm working through the feelings that this stirred and the emotional discomfort I experience at having to speak my mind! I learn't that the harder we try to avoid uncomfortable situations, the more we bring them upon ourselves! If I had spoken to the parents earlier, perhaps things wouldn't have reached boiling point!
How I came to be the disciplinarian in the first place is a mystery to me too! This too is also a role that I'm not comfortable with! But, with such a huge class and kids from all sorts of different cultural backgrounds and a wide variety of views on acceptable behaviour, our Sensei was overwhelmed without help! In this country too, being Phillipino, he is very aware that many other cultures regard him as somehow inferior and don't appreciate him enforcing discipline with their children! This is not a situation that I can or will accept. I'm having to take a stand on something I believe in. So while I still feel extreme discomfort with regard to the whole situation, I'm also proud of myself because I didn't fold, I didn't loose control in the situation, I argued logically without getting totally flustered! I was still shaking hours later, but I realise that this was quite a learning oppotunity for me - I'll just keep telling myself that!
I'm now going to help Sensei draft a code of conduct and informational letter to distribute to the parents to empower him to have the authority to enforce discipline in the class - for the benefit of everyone. Without discipline and respect - we have chaos, and little progress. Without a code of conduct in our lives, we don't have self-respect or confidence. These are important things that I want my children to have. And they will only learn it effectively, if they see me apply it in my life.
Anyway, thank-you for bearing with me as I ranted and raved and worked my way through the events of yesterday.
I reckon these are the things that you feel you can do when you spend less time wondering what people think about your body. When I am overweight I tend to spend a stupid amount of time thinking about myself and what others think about me. I remember weighing less and worrying about all that less. So I was more inclined to take risks. 