| Height: | |
| Start weight: | 19st 0.00lb |
| Current weight: | 1st 0.00lb |
| Goal weight: | 14st 0.00lb |
| Lost to date: | 18st 0.00lb |
| Remaining: | -13st 0.00lb |
| 8 |
| January '09 |
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| 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 |
| 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 |
| 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 |
its WI day on saturday i cant wait! well i hope that i have lost at leaast 2lb.......... or more! if i havent ill be seriously annoyed! 
i have put some more pics up so check them out its me 3 weeks on all my clothes are loser which is good! 
really hurt my neck today when iwoke up much have slept funny 
feeling down today, not because of food but because of my endometriosis in pain and feel like poo!
anyway today went well! ate up all of my 25 points! heres my menu:
Breakfast: Porridge: 2 points. Bananna: 1 points. raspberrys: 0.5 points
Lunch: missed it got up late
Dinner: Jacket potatoe: 2.5 points. butter: 1 point. cheese: 1 point. veg: 1.5 points. Fish in sauce: 4 points (cooked the wrong one otherwise wood have been 2.5!)
Dessert: WW chocolate brownie dessert: 2.5 points
Late snack as missed lunch: 2 x WW toast: 1 point. cheese spread: 1 point. butter: 1 point. grapes: 2points. jelly: 0 points cream!: 1 point.
seems to be 3 missing there! but i did eat all of em!
well! it was my first day yesterday and it all went well then obiovusly as i havent eaten for weeks i ended up going over me points, iwasnt bothered not by many, and not eating crap!
was back on track today, and going to be stricter tom! really wana lose 4lb on my WI day this saturday!!! 
lets hope i do it!! 
hi all, well i am back on WW now, feel better already, had porridge for breaki. thats it so far as im not hungry! i have 25 points a day, and that works out to about 1750 calories, but i dont think i need that much, i dont work right now due to illness and i dont really do much at home, so i have cut it down to: 18 points a day saving me about 500kcal, ill porob just have 25 at the weekends if i go over family etc.
not feeling to good as am on totm again 
2nd time in jan! bloody pill im on! gota go back to doctors! i re-weighed in saturdays are my new WI day as i have highers points on sat & sun WI today and have lost 5lb since monday, if i wenrt on totm i am sure it would have been about 8.
my next goal is 1 stone in 6 weeks to get me down in the 15's hopefully ill lose it in 4 but i am not pressuring myself!
anyway im off to have alay down now!
well, after weighing in tonight and Gaining 1lb...how the hell? maybe it was bewcause it was the evening u i dunno, but my first WI since monday...ill re do it tom anyway. 
but i went to have a shake and i made it the smell repulsed me....i drank it...5 mins later i was in the sink (didnt make the loo) throwing it back up, i physically and menallty can not smell or look at another shake, literally i am repulsed by them...AND there the only 2 flavours that i liked
WELL after having a long conversation with the boyf i have decided to stop doing it and go back to WW, BUT now i know my demons and i think doing cambridge for that few weeks helped, it has made me stronger, i know what to eat i want to lose weight i WILL NOT eat crap, my boyfreind only eats healthy now to, and i wna be slim and healthy & have a tummy tuck, not fat and unhappy. i think i have hit 'that point' where whther i starve or eat i will now stick to it and lose weight............
and feeling happy just did my shopping online, only lots of salads/veg and protein and low GI foods.
so! here i go.....for the last time ever!
really wana eat! but i wont..........but i wanan..but i wont....really wana eat! but i wont..........but i wanan..but i wont....really wana eat! but i wont..........but i wanan..but i wont....really wana eat! but i wont..........but i wanan..but i wont....really wana eat! but i wont..........but i wanan..but i wont....really wana eat! but i wont..........but i wanan..but i wont....really wana eat! but i wont..........but i wanan..but i wont....really wana eat! but i wont..........but i wanan..but i wont....
arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this is really odd, but i never ever ever think of chocolate?! i just was sitting here and thought to myself ' i have never once even thought of choc whilest on this diet'
isnt that odd? i havent actually Got a sweet tooth or anything BUT obviously having (NO DID HAVE) a addiction to food, i was feel.... *odd* if i didnt have a bar, infact i would feel like crying...totally honest truth here, if i went to the supermarket with my boyfriend, and we walked past the choc to the checkout i would get a rush of 'fear' if you like, like i thought id never eat it again, like if i didnt have it id die! (not that drastic but its the only was i can explain it!)
and id say to my boyfriend 'go get me a bar' he say 'you get it' obviously....ashamed i NEVER EVER went and picked it up myself...but then id make him feel guilty (poor boyf ) and hed just get any bar, i didnt even care what it was, and as soon as id eat it id get a high......but 10 mins later i and would have to eat something savoury as the sugar hit?!!?
also if someone offers me food and i say no, i actully feel sick, i feel so GUILTY that id just eat it? maybe it stems from being younger?! also if i am doing a diet and i get offered food, and once my sister said 'oh are you sieting or cant you eat that?' and i HATE the fact she said that i truly HATED it, that i COULD not have it!?! you know what, id been doing well on my diet that night i feel so annoyed about that comment AFTER having snacks round there (vegan buffet-picky food not a dinner!) i went and ordered a chinese, jsut to prove to myself that i COULD have it! i hate hate hate being told i can not have something!
maybe it Does stem from being the youngest of 4 girls, and being the one who wanted the attention etc, i remember one way when i was younger was to put lots of salt on my dinner, everyone obviosuly wet mad at me BUT i had attention! i always got attention for bad things.......like that! HMMMM! *some sort of light shines on me* maybe i feel that if i DO slim down i wont get this attention....that i actually hate?!?! OH MY GOD! HAHA?! i hate getting attention for being overweight, but i do, but if i slimmed down........what attention would i get as id be slimmer.......obiovusly nice attention.......hmmmm m going to have to think about this!!!
sounds totally crazy talking about it now?! but as i dont think i ever really wanted it its dissapeared from my mind!!!
CRAVINGS TODAY have been: cracker & phildelpiha! rice & vinger (i LOVE vinger!) and a jacket potatoe!
sounds odd for a very overweight person to crave, well such 'healthy' foods (minus the phila...but it was half fat 
)
BUT i never really ate crap food you see, now obiovusly you think im lying! how can i be so overweight and not?! WELL! i ate foods....say a jacket potatoe, id have half fat cheese.......BUT id have two jacket potatoes!! AHHH! not small ones either! if i had rice, it never looked 'enough' on the plate, id feel like i was fretting not eating enough?! so id have double helpings of rice.......... fair enough take aways were in there! chinese being the main one, plain chowmein & chips & curry sauce mixed in with brown sauce
yes i liked weird stuff! or a roast dinner, instead of 3 pottaoes id just eat the hole flippin saucepan!!!
then theres my 'weird obsessions with food'
if i liked something, say mash & a roll & brown sauce!.......which i did! id only eat that everyday...for over a month :o
once it was cauliflower cheese and yorkshire puddings for...TWO MONTHS thats it 3 or mores times a day ALL id eat!...with brown sauce...
then the roast dinners........yup everyday (only for dinner) for two weeks on the trot...brown sauce (some sort of brown sauce pattern here?!)
why did i do that?!?!
obiovusly im not saying sometimes i didnt eat crap cos i did!
i dont eat red meat, wont cook chicken at home (dunno why-or unless its a microwave meal thingy) only fish, didnt eat alot of shop bought meals, infact didnt really eat any.
but i do know that when i was introduced to msn...and chattin to mates until 6am :eek: yup 6am! :eek: id snack! snack like theres no tomm, crisps, toast, crackers (there they are again) plate of mcain homefries!!
blimey!! although i stopped chattin on msn a fair while back now, im glad!
i felt quite depressed this evening, i explained it to my boyf like 'i have broke my leg, and have had my crutchs taken away and need to walk alone now'
its the only way i can explain it! the foods not there to 'cheer me up' give me that 'ten minute high' its just me and i have to sort it out myself.............. anyway its late sorry for all of my spelling mistakes...night night!
yah! i have jsut done my first day on complete SS (soule source!)
just the 3 shakes so no fish/veg etc! and in fact it was easier than actually having that bit of food!
the time 5-7pm are the 'hardest' but ifyou keep a little busy have a shake and well jsut watch tv within minutres you forget!
here i go............... 3 stone by me birthday! ok my aim is 2...but i want 3!!!! 
hiya yeah i was thinking the days after day 1 are alittle bit harder!
nearly over day 1! dying for a bit of bread thick cut (you cut yourself) with lots of butter! .......... weird thing?! i dont even eat bread?!?!?!! very odd!
i did have 1 piece of fish 80kcal broc 26 kcals for dinner, and went to see my counseller today to pick up 2 more boxes and we discussed it and she said it jsut wasnt worth it...so tom NO fish or broc will be eaten!! :eek: i am glad i did that for today though as i did eat over the weekend, so that was a kind of get me into it quickie type thingy mer bobbie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :p
oh! a guy was just leaving my counsllers when i got there, just did his first week (boasting about how easy it was!!) just lost 13lb!!! she said 3 other women today saying how easy it was...we then went on to say how they must be lying lol!!! one lsot 7lb in 5 days!
my counsller is also back on SS as she gained 10lb after crimbo, she was finding today hard, i think harder than me to be honest!
i also over my sisters tonight and told her & her hubby all about the diet, even before i told them she asked if i had lost weight (so did my mum come to think of it) even though ive lost 6lb in the past 2 weeks, my face looks slimmer apparently (not that ive got a huge double chin or anything!! LOL! :p )
but they were really pleased and stuff, i said it obviously is hard not eating and they were like bloody hell wecouldnt do it! (not that any of my family need to! why are they all size 6-14!!??)
anyway! going to have my last mint choc shake & watch that programme the baby borrows! which i personally think is a good idea, to stop teeagers having kids!
and thats my piece for this evening!!! :p
thats it im a failer :-( after the not doing it right then doign the 790...rose to 1000...rose to me deciding to have a chinese last night which mayb i add was REVOLTING taste buds must have changed
this morning i ate breakfast, i feel really unhpapy now back up to 17.3 aswell. im still eating less than before.......ah bloody hell :(
everything i worked for, i had a appointment on 1st feb i was trying to lose 2 stone for i think the pressure got to me because of that aswell, ive changed that appoointment to 1st march
CAN I DO THIS?? can i get back on it? please i can not keep going back to day one.
i wrote up achart and im going to start a fresh monday (im not pigging out-i promise you im not)
i just feel mondays a new week.
Help :(
