wooo wooooo!

ok!

this weeks been tuff! i am TOTM at the mo, but as i have endometirosis, its normally i cant get out of bed for 2 weeks in pain  but because im on the pill, (3 months on 1 week off...) but ive only been on it 6 weeks and still TOTM as this is the first time ive taken it..... anyway!

ive been in pain and had such a big appitite!! i went over my points on 2 days ........ i think by 25 for the 2 days (yes TOTM = chocolate......... thats all im saying ! )

BUT! i have been back on track for 2 days now and had a sneaky WI and ive lost weight!

So hopefully the scales will be good to me on my monday WI!

i am SO hungry right now, jsut waiting for the boyf to get home, might have veggie sausages in a hot dog bun? or i might make potatoes & veg & some quorn?!

but his going to be late so i hope he hurrys up!! want me dinner now!

ok doing well........

Right!!!

i am no longer on the Cambridge diet! last.... tuesday-ish i jsut thought, why am i doing this diet? i feel like im starving, i cant stick to it, and if i eat i jsut binge and badly! im not sorting out my eating habits, im just kinda ignoring them to lose weight, wheat happens when i lose weight and start to eat again? i tell you what happens the weight will go back on as soon as it came off!!!

i did do cambridge diet a few months back, and lost 1st.7lb, and as soon as i started eating, healthy i may add! it was on within 2weeks!!!

so i am doing weight watchers, ive been really good had one 'over points day' but i got back on to it and ive lost 3lb this week!

i can either do weight watchers and eat and lose 2 stone by christmas or do cambridge diet and starve and lose 3 stone...... so i know what im going for!!!!

so my week has been pretty good, writing everything down and pointing helps, it only takes 5mins and it doesnt bother me doing it, i quite enjoy it! ive cooked everyday!!! NO takeaways!!!!

we looked at how much we spent on crappy take aways..... you jsut dont want to know, well put it this way, we can have a small deposit for a house this time next year!!!!!!   not saying we wont have one ever again, maybe once every 2/3months.  but no way as often as before!!!!

ok im going to add to my food diary thing now, as im eating i can do it! lol!

ok..............

back on track!!.........seriously! i now i say this everyday but...iam! i know its early and the evenings are the worst but there is NO food in the house that i can eat!

lol, my boyfreinds away, im agrophobic, and lets face it if i wanted food THAT much wouldnt i just go out and buy it?! EH EH?!?!?

ok so! im going to have a choc shake now, i think i iwll get some CD bars to, maybe in a few weeks, or not im not sure yet!

my paint by numbers havent come today  so i am pretty upset! really wanted them to keep my mind of of food! im going to tidy the house and have a shower.......thats all of 30mins! ill prob stay on the comp all day or something! anyway going to go now and vivist some boards and try and earn some money, well try and get a job working from home......... hmm like thats going to happen!

ah crap

ended up eating....... dobnt believe it, i got up late today and it really knocks me off course, i ended up eating some crackers & some pasta :-(

ok i am getting up early tom! i wont let this week go to waste no way! and i will go on the treadmill!

hopefully i will get my paint by numbers tom & im going to get some cross stitch to! to take my mind off of food....... come on i can do it!!

ah ok i wont lie......

Because i actually cant lie, its in my jeans! (thats so spelt wrong!) i feel off the wagon....... well to be honest i didnt really try hard enough to get on and it slowly rolled by over me as i just said 'ah sod it'

the amount of food eaten this week...well....... ive had 2 indians, (not literally!!) a chinese and a pizza hut oh a dominos pizza............

i sound like a really fat person, and i am! BUT i dont normally eat like that, no seriously, i dont normally eat alot of takeaways................ now my boyfreind (yes i have one!) for some reason has just started to want takeaways all the time..... his not fat! he can eat what ever he likes............ but this week every night (bar one where i cooked) his been like lets get a takeaway.........and because id been doing my shakes all day........ my resolve weakens and i know its my own fault but i just say 'ok then'

we dont eat the most fattening things from the takeaway, and in all fairness i ate 3 mouthfulls of the chinese and threw it away (it was really horrible) the pizza hut, i had 3 slices of pizza with sweetcorn & chicken, the dominos i had 3 slices of pizza....sweetcorn & chicken!! and the indian, which has to be said is my fav, i had chicken with rice & potatoes & a nan bread........... it just doesnt sound alot.............. but i know it is!

i dont think my boyfreind wants me to lose weight, because i dunno if i told you this but im agrophobic? and if i lsoe weight im sure id  be more confident...............well anyway, i have started sole source on the cambridge diet again today, my boyfreind it visiting his mum for the week far away! so i have the feeling this will be easyer this time around...........?

lets hope so anyway! i better go and change my tracker!

DAy 2...ish........

ARGHHHHHHH bloody pop ups on my computers! thats 3 times ive tried to write and they have stopped me!!!

Anyway! yesterday.......hmmm..... yeah about that.......i ended up eating dinner........ i know i know im weak! i know im weak im so awful :-( ytou know what was even more alwful? there was this girl in my mag i was reading and she only weighed 3st.7 and i thought to myself 'i wish i had her will power' .........yes i said that out loud and thought it :-(

and i ended up eating yesterday because im ill! i have flu and im worse today, im not sure whther to carry on SS or to have a little bit of food? im going to ask on the boards today, ill do it now infact!

i havent had a reply yet, so ill prob post later what they have said about that!  i feel so ill

i should be having a couple of parcels delivered to me today some 'pamper kits' so i am looking forward to that! Yippeee!

nothing else to report really, soo il come back later!

My first day on Cambridge Diet Oct 9th

Well! 8 hours into it and i already feel like giving up for one more day of 'food' but it just cant go on like this and cant happen, i dont want to be fat anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i want to be slim and to get on with my life!!

Starting at 17st11 thats just shocking, even by my standards. i avoid mirrors and after taking my pictures i can see why!

gone from being asked to model to a big fat pig, i feel like a big fat pig to (sorry piggys)

having done this diet (well ok done it but cheated-slighty) for 3 weeks and losing a 1 stone and 4lb in 3 weeks i KNOW it can be done, i just have to stick with it, PLEASE STICK WITH IT!