WOMANS STRESS DIET

This is specially formulated diet designed to help woman
cope with the stress that builds up during the day.

BREAKFAST:
1 Grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
1 cup skim milk

LUNCH:
Small portion lean, steamed chicken with a cup of spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Hershey Kiss

AFTERNOON SNACK:
The rest of the Kisses in the bag
1 tub Hagen Daas Ice Cream with Choc~Chip topping

SUPPER:
2 loaves Garlic bread
1 Family size Supreme Pizza
3 Snickers Bars

LATE NIGHT SNACK:
Whole frozen Sarah Lee cheesecake
(eaten directly from the Freezer)

DIET RULES:
1. If no one sees you eat something, it has no calories.

2. When drinking a diet coke with a chocolate bar, the diet coke
cancels out the sugar in the chocolate bar

3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you do
not eat more than they do.

4. Food used for medical purposes does not count (eg. hot
chocolate, toast, cheesecake with cherries).

5. If you fatten up the people around you, you will look thinner.

6. Movie Theater related foods have zero calorie count as they are
part of the entertainment package and not counted as food intake. This
includes Pop Corn, Sno Caps, and Ice Cream.

7. Cookie pieces have no calories because breaking the cookies up
causes calorie leakage.

8. Foods licked from spoons and forks have no fat if you are in
the process of cooking something.

9. Anything eaten while standing has no calories due to gravity
and the density of the calorie mass.

10. Food consumed from someone else's plate has no fat as it
rightfully belongs to the other person and will cling to his/her plate.