Back on track

I completely got off track last week on spring break, but I am slowing kicking my ass back into gear.  I've been much better about eating the past few days and have actually exercised (which I seemed to take a break from over spring break as well.)  I started swimming for the first time in months.  I had been dreading it due to the bathing suit, but realized that if I am going to do a triathalon, I have to swim.  I have also come to the conclusion that it isn't worth getting off track.  So you get a week of eating junk and not exercising, but then you realize that for a few days of pleasure you just set yourself right back up where you started.  It is ok to indulge sometimes, but not all day long.  Like I wanted Reese's eggs yesterday, so I had a few small ones rather than a package of large ones.  Haha.  Baby steps.  Anyways, tommorrow is the big day. . . bikini shots.  Oh god.  I don't even want to face myself in a bikini, much less have someone else take a picture of me in one.  Oh well, we needed something to motivate us and those pictures appearing for others to see if I don't lose weight is certainly a motivation.  It's a better incentive than my normal decision to use food as rewards. . . because that doesn't necessarily help the situation. 

Must get back on track

Apparently being surrounded by chocolate at my grandparents, while PMSing, is bad for the diet.  In addition, when one has bad knees and decides to go running in the mountains, that is also a bad idea as she then doesn't exercise for several days due to the exacerbated knee injury.  However, tomorrow is a new day and I will start it off with a nice run now that I think my knees have recovered.  But, Project Fat-off and I did so well today.  We went to Cheesecake Factory and instead of bingeing we each got a salad and split the small lunch sized pizza (rather than each getting our own, taking half "home" and then devouring it during the car ride home).  No leftovers helps the diet!  I finally broke down and took my measurements today, so hopefully that will be a more accurate read on my progress.  It is depressing when you exercise your ass off and then gain weight. . . even if it is muscle weight, there is no reward in the hideous number that you have to face on the scale.  I need something positive to look at.

Anyways, Thursday is the day to take motivational bikini pictures with Project Fat-off.  Any chance I can get in better shape before that horendous day?  At least I won't be able to lie to myself once there are pictures with very little clothing on.  Clothing does do wonders to the body. . . it can't hide everything, but it certainly helps.

A new beginning

Alright, here is the brief story of how I got the way I am today.  Basically, I swam competitively since the age of 5.  With a steady flow of 15 hours of intense exercise a week, not only could I eat like a cow, but stayed in great shape physically.  Weight control never once crossed my mind.

Then, when I was 15, I quit swimming. . . and with that, I quit exercising altogether.  Since I had never “exercised” before (somehow I didn’t equate swimming with exercise, as it was something I loved to do and was just an automatic part of my life), it never occurred to me that I should add physical activity to my life.  So, in addition to not exercising, I didn’t change my eating habits.

Overnight, I ballooned from probably about 140.  At first I was in denial about the weight gain.  I don’t think I even noticed it until about a year and 15-20 pounds later.  Still, I didn’t do much of anything.  In fact, I probably purposefully ate more, because many of my friends from high school had eating disorders (anorexia & bulimia) and I decided that eating more in front of them would help the problem. Riight.

So, I went to college, and put on an additional chunk of weight to put me where I’m at now: 21 years old and weighing in the mid-170s.  My highest has been about 185.  It’s been one of those things, where whenever I break into a new decade (that is what I refer to entering a new 2nd number. . . like from the 170s to the 180s), I am shocked.  Soon enough though, the shock wears off as I keep on barreling right into the next decade.  Before you know it, you’ve gained 45 pounds. 

I’ve done a series of diet and exercise spurts over the past few years, but they don’t last for more than 2 weeks (and more often 2 days) and the most I’ve ever lost was about ten pounds.  I’m hoping that this time I can take the weight off and keep it off. 

I am training for a triathlon over the summer, so hopefully that will be enough motivation to keep me exercising.  I wouldn’t possibly want the sickenly skinny person I’m doing it with to beat me.  So now, I just have to work on making good food choices. 

I am not going to diet, as that indicates a short-term solution to a problem.  A diet isn’t going to work for me.   

I need to make a lifestyle change: a commitment to getting and staying healthy for life.

It’s time for a new beginning.

??

Here we go . . .