My first blog! "Realizing it's time to change!"

The realization came to me yesterday that I no longer recognize the woman in the photographs as myself.  It was an unsettling feeling, and a turning point for me.  As I sit here at the computer now, unable to sleep, I thought I would fill out all the little charts on this site, and hopefully find some supportive people who understand what I'm going through.  Since I don't really have anyone to talk to, I am kind of using this blog as a way to vent my feelings.

So, back to yesterday.. It was my first attempt at sewing my own clothes, I made a very cute Summer dress with yellow flowers! It wasn't my color really, nor was it cut properly, but I finished it!! I completed something new and was feeling quite proud of myself!  That is, until I decided to show off my accomplishment to my sister and had someone take a picture of me in the dress to send her.  I looked at the photos of myself, and as I said above, I no longer saw "me"..

I've always been aware that my weight was becoming a problem over the last few years, even before it was a problem I still stressed over it.  I wish I could go back in time and slap myself for worrying over a problem that hadn't even arrived yet.  All those feelings of insecurity because of a weight problem I didn't have, only to have a REAL problem now.  I was fighting a ghost then, with no way to defeat it.  I can defeat it now though, and hopefully be a more confident woman after!

I have never known what real confidence feels like.