I woke up with a migraine this morning. I hate waking up with a migraine as I know that if I can not go back to sleep for four hours, it probably will be an all day migraine. It really, really sucks. Then, on my way down the stairs...I missed the last four and landed hard on my knees. What a glorious friggen morning.

 

I sort-of broke my "no fast-food" goal yesterday, but as I hadn't renewed my goals yet, I guess I won't beat myself up too much. And I didn't have a cheeseburger and fries, so that's good too. Right now I am too tired and my head hurts too much to think, so I don't know if I can set some new goals or not.

 

Lately I have been spending all my "free" time on others. I am making a caterpiller costume for one of my best friends for Halloween and then helping another make a lovely burgandy dress as part of her Halloween costume. Well, actually, I'm the one doing most of the work as she doesn't know how to sew, but at least she helps with the pinning...that's the part that takes the longest. So due to the fact I have no free time, I've let "me" get put on the back burner. And I don't see things changing until ~after~ Halloween. I mean, I have two sewing projects for my own costume to make when I am done with thiers. Oh well.

 

Well, the pain meds have kicked in a bit so my head is functioning a bit better.

 

Let's set some goals for this week:

1. No fast food restaurants (as of now...I already went once yesterday)
2. To eat at least ~one~ salad this week
3. Cook and freeze breakfast burritos for the rest of week
4. Buy healthy snack choices to keep from grazing on "bad" foods

 

Those are do-able as long as I can get to a grocery store this week. I haven't been in ages to get actual food. My only other hope is my roommates will wash the dishes before they go on vacation for two weeks. We have no clean dishes because they can't wash them after they use them...they are a big reason as to why I don't cook at home and boy am I looking forward to our lease being up in July. Hey...it's only 8 months away...don't smush my dreams!

 

That is all for now as I can't figure out if I am going to be able to keep my eyes open much longer. May your day be better than mine.

I missed blogging yesterday...my bad.

 

But in my defense, yesterday was seriously busy.

 

So, despite the fact I didn't blog yesterday, I did well on my new way of eating healthier. I still haven't been to any drive-thrus (or fast food joints of any kind) and I haven't had any ice cream even though I got offered some again. And for today's lunch the office is ordering Chinese food and I acutally substituted the fried rice for steamed...a big improvement for me since I adore fried rice. *wink*

 

Still haven't exercised yet this week, and I am thinking I may do so this evening before I begin my night job. Hopefully my roommates will be out so I won't have to worry about them watching me while I work out on the Wii Fit. I love my Wii Fit, but I got injured shortly after I got it and never really went back to it. I love the rhytmic boxing and the step class for cardio and then the balance games really make me feel my muscles in the morning. *lol*

 

I am happier this week...guess it's a good week. I got to see my nephew last weekend (and my sister and her husband, but my nephew is the most important) so maybe that's why I feel "lighter." That and I decided to cut some "poisonous friends" from my life. You know those kinds of friends...the ones that make you feel bad, not good? Well, I had some I was keeping around (online only) and then I realized, all I ever do is stress when I deal with them, so why deal with them? Such a relief to give myself permission to get them out of my life.

 

I haven't weighed myself yet, but that's ok as I don't really expect much of a weight shift yet. I mean, all I am doing is making adjustments to my life right now, not something drastic which would actually result in a loss. I think I have lost weight, but if so, it's just a little bit. I think the biggest change is avoiding eating out. I have done it a couple of times in the last 3 weeks, but no where near what I was doing. The morning crew at McDonald's was beginning to remember the name on my debit card...a sure sign I see them too often. *lol* Well, if I have time, I'll weigh myself and write about it later...if not, y'all have a good day!

Here I was, thinking that no one was reading this thing but me when lo and behold (I really love that saying...we should all use it more) I get not one but TWO comments! I love you guys!

 

I have a hard time losing weight because I slip up so easily. I slip up so easily because I don't really have a support group. My family and friends want me to lose weight, but then give me ice cream and pie with the "one time won't hurt" but the one time turns into much more than one. The only time in my life where I consistantly and successfully lost weight was when both my roommate and I were following the same plan. Unfortunately I no longer have a roommate who needs to lose weight, so that's not an option.

 

I didn't do too bad this weekend, but I could have done better. When it comes to following a specific plan, well...I'm not. There's no use for me to try to follow a book or a "plan" when that's not my real life. My real life is I am home maybe 3 nights a week, and two of those I am doing work from home. Cooking is something I like to do but I don't have time to do it. I haven't been to a grocery store to buy actual groceries in over a month. I used to get most of my meals through a window or at my folks when they invited me over for dinner.

 

What I have changed is the types of foods I am eating and the amounts I am eating. Lately I've been doing Healthy Choice meals for lunches. Their steamers are awesome, but I am left hungry. I follow that up with water usually, though I have Diet Coke today (by fluke since I usually don't have it at work). Dinner will be something from the freezer as I have several of those bagged meals that need to be eaten before they have so much freezer burn they must be tossed. Then when I wake up tomorrow, if I have enough time, I will have some oatmeal.

 

That's actually a big change from my window meals. And after a week without fast food, when I tried some...I paid dearly for it. That alone is a good reason to avoid the french fries I love so much.

 

The fact remains that diets fail because they are unrealistic. You can't live on soup the rest of your life if you are used to eating a steak. You can't deny yourself carbs if you love bread. I've done diets...lots of them...and then I stop at some point and gain it all back.

 

No, this time I am just trying to do better. I don't need a nutritionist to tell me fried food is bad...I think I've pretty much gotten that idea already. But setting small goals to help me adjust to eating healthier is better than just expecting me to do it. I don't have a Jillian or Bob...I'm doing this on my own.

 

So this week's goals are as follows:

1. No fast window food unless it's a healthy option

2. At least 1 hour of workout since I didn't do it last week

3. No ice cream (hopefully dad's eaten all his Klondike bars)

4. Find my food diary and start filling it in again.

 

Again, not hard goals but we're just going for "slightly better than last week," not "omg...I'm never eating again!"

 

Wish me luck!

I really don't want to spend any time with my co-workers today...and of course I have an office dinner that we're all attending tonight.

 

There are times when I actually feel some affection for my co-workers, but today is not one of them. To go into detail would probably be more information than anyone really needs, but let's just say that there are things called "couth" and "tact," and our office manager has neither.

 

You can make a mistake because you get busy. I mean, even on a slow day you don't always think about every little thing that you should do before going home. Heck, all I can think about is GOING HOME!

 

But, the office manager here is like a pit bull...once she gets her teeth into something, she just won't let it go. No, it has to be brought up over and over again, with snide comments made just loud enough so that they aren't directed at a person but they are definitely meant for that person to hear. And when you know it's you she's talking about, it's even worse.

 

"Oh, ~who~ could be that nasty? I mean, honestly! That's just...disgusting! Really, we're all adults here!" And you know what, yes...it was bad this morning but it wasn't like it was a serious oversight and it was easily corrected. But it wasn't as bad as she was making it either...it's something that wouldn't even have been an issue in most places, but of course our office is little and our bosses are cheap.

 

So this dinner we're going to tonight...I hope she is on the other side of the table. If she isn't, I'm going to have a hard time not spilling something on her intentionally. Ugh.

 

Ok, rant of the day is completed and I will do my best to forgive and forget (though a glass of sangria spilled on her fugly suit would be an improvement).

 

So far I have successfully avoided going to any fast food restaurant (though it was McDonald's I picked in particular to avoid). However, as we are leaving at 5am tomorrow for a drive across the state, my mother informed me we will be stopping at McDonald's for breakfast. And since my father doesn't eat in the car, we will be going inside where I can be surrounded by temptation. Even if I eat before meeting up with them, I highly doubt my ability to withstand that kind of temptation.

 

So I now question myself, should I be proud of what I was able to accomplish and move on, or should I allow the guilt of failure throw me under the bus. Usually I pick the guilt of failure. Amazingly enough I haven't even failed yet, but I am expecting to so might as well be ready for it. If I can be strong enough, I will choose a healthy option for breakfast. If not, then it's a Number Seven with a Large Iced Vanilla coffee coming my way. The odds are against me if you look at my history, so if I were a betting person, I'd put it on the #7. *wink*

 

In the end I will settle my mind to get a yogurt parfait, apple slices, and a coffee. Let's see if I can stick to it.

Today has been relatively uneventful and I've been able to stick to my resolutions except for #4...exercising for 30 minutes. I have not been able to do so and I fear it won't happen. I have decided to get up on Sunday before driving to North Port to do the exercise as I know I work my second job tonight, and have a business dinner tomorrow and will be out of town all day Saturday.

 

Let's just say...I have a busy weekend ahead. Wonder if anything I've done has lost me any weight this week. Oh well, I won't weigh myself until next week because if I watch the scale, I get excited too soon or give up all together.

 

 

So I blew one of my resolutions last night.

 

I was at my parent's house, fixing some of shorts for the sewing-challenged parents, when my dad offers me a Klondike bar. Mmmhmm...ice cream. And I said, "yes."

 

Come on, Tempatation! What are the odds? My parents don't usually have Klondikes sitting in the freezer, but lo and behold, there they were. And it was goooooooood. Even so, I felt bad enough afterwards that I decided to renew my resolutions (and become more "resolute"). It is Wendesday and I will be more than likely be back at my parents sometime this week. But their Klondikes can stay in the fridge...I will not give in again!

 

It will be interesting to see how I do for the rest of the week as I am headed out of town this weekend, which puts a damper on my "no McDonalds." If you are driving 3.5 hours with someone else, what are the odds they won't want to stop at a fast food restaurant? Not very good for me and my resolutions. So, I will make an admendment...

 

1. No McDonald's for the rest of the week
 1a. But if you must do McDonald's, you will get a salad and not a burger and fries.

 

Ugh...just thinking about food is making me hungrier. Yup, it's lunch time and I have a Healthy Choice meal waiting for me to get there.

 

The good news is (if such a thing can be considered good) that despite the fact I fell of a healthy eating plan I have not gone back over my start weight. Yes, I'm close to it, but I figure that seven pounds is seven pounds.

 

Okay, that's it for now.

Temptation. Amazing how it shows up just when you least expect it. Only one day after deciding to not go to McDonald’s for iced coffee, and to not eat ice cream or candy, I am faced with some serious temptation.

I get into work today and there, laying on my desk, is a European chocolate bar. I actually fought myself on if chocolate is “candy,” but in the end decided that it is since it could be called a “candy bar.” But what a candy bar. Eight small squares of it equals 210 calories with four servings per bar. 210 x 4 = 840 calories per bar…or more than half of the daily amount allotted in a 1200 a day calorie diet.

Still, I wanted to tear open that wrapper faster than Charlie and his Wonka bar. And I came close. Real close. But, ultimately, I put it back in my desk drawer and decided I could wait a week. Remember, small steps. I am more than likely going to eat that chocolate bar, but I will do my best to not do it all at once.

It seems kind of funny. Here I am, bloated, having digestive issues, just started my not-so-monthly, thinking about how I need to lose weight, and craving Corn Pops and chocolate carmel popcorn. That's me, in a nut shell.

 

Let's make some resolutions and see if I can last a week.

 

1. No McDonald's for the rest of the week. (or any fast food restaurant)

2. No ice cream for the week (not that hard...I don't eat it often)

3. No candy for the week (same as #2)

4. Exercise for at least 30 minutes one time this week.

 

That's it. If I can do these things, I will consider it a successful week.

 

My boss made me read this stupid book called, "The Slight Edge." It's about just improving yourself "slightly" and seeing an improvement over time. The book was boring and never once was there an "ah ha!" moment, but I can take that little idea and use it for this week. If I do slightly better than last week, it will be a success. And with only four attainable goals, I am pretty sure I can stick to it.