Silly monkeys give them thumbs They make a club and beat their brother down… - Maynard James Keenan
Although I am hesitant to write this blog entry I will – for my own benefit more so than those that will be burdened by its words. I am growing somewhat despondent with the will of people who profess the desire for others around them to succeed while silently and in some cases not so subtly wishing for their failure. Are we so shallow of a species that we silently revel in the failures of others in order to put ourselves on a pseudo pedestal?
I hope not… and for those that do – step off and allow those of us that are legit to our claims to be the ones that will rise above – family, friends or otherwise – you know who you are.
Onward and upward – it was WI day yesterday and my ongoing journey toward half-way is in full swing – down 6.8 was the reply from the oh so unforgiving scale – it feels good to be back into the swing of my regular routine again – although, a few more weeks of indiscretion and tireless devotion to rest and relaxation is never a bad thing – is it?
I have been somewhat remiss in my blogging lately and for that I apologize – I am not saying that I haven’t been reading I just have little to add to them is all – I do find the many posters thoughts and difficulties to be somewhat refreshing for me knowing that I am not alone in my plight.
So once again, many thanks to all that have visited and your comments have been awesome – I am now seriously considering the lasik surgery – even though I am a chicken at heart. And finally Sid Barrett - one of the original founding members of Pink Floyd died this week - I know this isn't the forum but nevertheless - RIP.
In the final chapter of vaunted trip in the Mayan today was my first ‘official’ weigh in after my body has SOMEWHAT returned to normal. I say somewhat because my burn, although almost gone is still irritating – believe it or not *scratch scratch scratch*.
With that said – I lost 18 lbs today – so hence the title of this blog entry – net 2.0 for my trip to the Mayan where I indulged to excess in alcohol and gourmet foods – I can live with that. The best part about all of this is that I know the reasons that I didn’t gain more was that I was smart enough to remain active over and above the arm action created from pouring drinks into my mouth.
Thank heavens for the gym and swimming or lord knows I would have faired much worse than I did – this however makes me feel much better about maintenance knowing that I will essentially be able to achieve a status quo assuming that I remain active once I reach my goal weight – or at least that’s what I want to believe until that time comes. I have heard about people gaining 10 and sometimes more pounds when on vacation so all things considered I am ecstatic about my measly two pound gain.
So, I am now going to begin anew – phase 2 if you will of my weight loss campaign. I have set some new goals for myself – most of which I should have achieved by the end of the summer – halfway being one of them. Keeping in mind that halfway is about 150 lbs for me – which is a meager 37 lbs from where I am now – now I have to establish a credible reward for when I get to there – I think maybe laser eye surgery (assuming I am a candidate) or the digital SLR that I have wanted for a long time – we shall see.
Thanks again to all that visited and to anyone that has had the laser surgery on their eyes let me know what you thought about it – was it worth the cash – am I being a baby for being worried etc. – gimme the dirt, inquiring minds want to know…
Who said that clarity was something that in my muddled world of blogging was a skill that I excelled at? It’s more the breadth of the words – and the quality and depth with which they are delivered – form over function that matters most, not the message; right?
My last post was somewhat cryptic – perhaps subconsciously even written as such by my not so stable psyche. So, I will in good faith attempt to clarify myself for the benefit of those that do indulge my ramblings – the LW notwithstanding…
The trip to the Mayan was fantastic and Aventura Spa was beyond that – my words in regard to the service and the quality of the resort would fall well short of doing it justice so I won’t bore you with my ‘salesy’ diatribe – suffice to say I will return to this resort at least one more time – more if the bank account allows.
My sunburn – in my infinite wisdom my sunburn seems to be going from bad to bad – it still hurts a week later and the LW has been awesome in helping me to cope with my own badge of stupidity – I will once again reiterate my credo here for all to witness – should I go swimming again without either a shirt or sun-block on I deserve every bit of the agony that will ensue from the sunburn that I WILL get – until such time however, thanks for putting up with my whining dear… I owe you one.
Now to the phantom gain as it will henceforth be known. I did gain 20 lbs and this was a success of my mini-goal – seems a little dubious I know to call it that but I also didn’t want it to weigh too heavily on my mind while I was on vacation. Perhaps I am trivializing it but that also allows me to qualify it and accept the fact that it was going to happen. With the sodium increase, the heat, the alcohol and the sunburn I knew that I was going to be dehydrated to the point of retaining mucho water – which I am/was. Therefore, I will accept the ‘gain’ once my body has returned to its normal state prior to my vacation and then continue on my way toward my goal – I don’t believe in doing without when I am dieting so I did indulge indiscriminately while I was away. And upon returning I have once again swung back into my pre-vacation routine – JFC IS MY FRIEND – I WILL RETURN TO JFC.
I also added my pic from the Mayan as per Sarah squared’s request – just looking at it however, makes me want to go back…
Thanks for your comments ladies and keep up the good work.
Now that I am back from the Mayan and attempting to gain some semblance of normalcy once again in my eating patterns I felt it as good a time as any to reflect on my successes and failures while I was away. Then we can discuss the mini-goal that I “oh so successfully” achieved during my vacation – so bear with me…
The biggest success that I can “congratulate” myself on was my ability to remain active while away. The resort we went to had an extensive gym (better than what I used to at home) and I took full advantage of the facilities without fail – it felt good to work out with a view of the ocean.
As much as I want to call swimming and snorkeling a success it’s a catch 22 for me – because it was during one of my marathon snorkeling sessions that I baked myself – BIGTIME. As I said to the LW it’s my own fault and I don’t want sympathy for it – it was stupid and I have suffered a great deal (I am on day 6 of pain – thank heavens for ibuprofen) for it – note to self: when in the water either wear sunscreen or a shirt – snorkeling means your back is OUT of the water dumbass.
Also, our trip to Tulum was indeed as visually stunning and awe-inspiring as it was hot and humid. But I managed without issue to easily trudge around the park – a feat that not six months ago would have had me looking around for the nearest place to sit on more than one occasion.
Now the not so good – I remembered how much I love rich foods – sweets were never a problem for me. As a matter of fact I have two boxes of Girl Guide cookies in my desk that have been there for a year or so that I will never touch – now if that was two steaks, I’d be all over them.
Similar to the LW I find it much easier to portion control when I go to an a la carte (because someone else does it for me – duh) than I do when I go to a buffet. I still find myself over-filling my plate – something that I need to work on before I am in maintenance mode. I truly do have a weakness for good food but then again who doesn’t.. ;)
Now on to my mini-goal – when the LW and I were talking about it I said to her that going in for WI two days after we got home was moronic and that the only reason that I had to go in was to get food. In reality – I probably consumed about 20lbs of liquor alone – so I went in fully expecting – nay – WANTING to have gained 20lbs – call it a mark of success and a trophy of my indiscretions – albeit mostly water weight – but that was my goal – SUCCESS!
Thanks to all that have visited and dropped me a little hello – I appreciate your words more than you know – and to those that figured out who the LW is – took you long enough.. ;)
UPDATE - it seems as though my Mac tends to do silly things to the formatting of my blog post - so now that I'm home, much to my chagrin - I have fixed it to make it somewhat more readable. Cudos to those that trudged through it regardless...
Cheese for others like me that Spanish is a language spoken in Mexico by people that I can’t understand. And much to that comes my latest blog entry for your entertainment and proof to me that therapy is an option that I should consider should any of my theories and principals become that which define me – I’ll go on…
The LW and I this week are in Mexico – Quintana Roo to be exact, or moreso, Puerto Aventuras – its in the Mayan Riviera to be less anal retentive – I digress.
We tend to vacation a couple times a year and this year we ventured to a five star – which we both had read about and looked at pictures of others enjoying – but assumed that we would never partake – boy was I wrong…
Talk about being spoiled – this place makes a mockery of that word and then some. I tend not to want for much or be too needy but I admit that this pamper me service is something I could get used to – if only I spoke better Mexican (Spanish – for the naïve like myself).
You see, the LW and I decided one night after a long day of frivolity and frolicking in the various pools, lagoons and hot tubs that we would order a “midnight no-no” and low and behold the 24 hour room service man is on the phone ready and awaiting my order. Let me remind you – I am illiterate in Spanish and he is speaking Spenglish – so yea, this is primed for disaster.
To make matters worse I am going to order OFF the menu. Now to you and I – the concept of grilled cheese conjures visions of comfort food and mom in the frilly flower apron serving it up for lunch with a bowl of Campbell’s own tomato goodness – apparently (insert any Mexican sounding name here because I didn’t catch his) didn’t get the same vision. The kitchen conversation must have gone something like this – forgive my loose translation in the process…
“Hey Jose – this dude wants a queso sandwich – and he wants to grill it – ever hear of that before?”
“No – pfft – I’ll just take the ham and bacon off this club sandwich – the crazy gringo will never know the difference”
Hence, the queso club – so for future reference when in Mexico – make sure they understand that a queso club isn’t quite what you are looking for.
Seems like an ominous word when it appears on its own – but truthfully, it’s just another just like the thousands of others that combine together to form a language or a way to communicate. It seems silly however that we prioritize words based on their meaning – and by prioritize I mean that in our minds we listen when we hear them – some even inspire thought over and above the meaning they represent.
It’s that very word’s meaning that I want to talk about today – understanding. I understand the principles of dieting – I understand what I should and shouldn’t be eating – even to some extent I understand what constitutes a ‘normal’ portion size. So why then is the diet industry one of the most lucrative industries in the world?
Since I started JFC in October of last year I have become – like most people here – a professional dieter. I have learned a lot about nutrition and health and what constitutes a diet plan. And I have observed – I have watched people succeed and I have watched many more (unfortunately) not be so lucky. The question that always comes to mind however when I think about dieting is simple – do the diet companies really want people to succeed?
Dieters are loyal – almost to a fault and are quick to defend their chosen method to anyone and anything that dares question their worth. What makes one more successful is akin to what makes another fail – the ‘each to their own’ methodology in one derivative or another. It isn’t that difficult really – if it works then should that not constitute a successful diet? And assuming it worked for Aunt Helen (used solely as a reference point – I apologize if I have offended an unsuspecting Helen) doesn’t mean that you or I will have the same success – because in reality – it’s an individual thing.
As an example – if a person wants to quit smoking and every time they want a cigarette they jump on their head and cluck the alphabet like a chicken – would that constitute a method for quitting smoking? It would if it worked – perhaps I shall pen the “The Cluck-head Chronicles – the fowl guide to quitting”. (groan)
JFC works for me because I am inherently lazy when it comes to food – and I will be the first to admit it. If I have to think about it and meal plan and calculate this and calculate that – there is no chance in hell that I would stick to it.
In other words – in order for a diet to be successful you have to first establish which diet best suits your own personal needs. If you enjoy it – or aren’t bothered by it – then your chances of sticking with it improve significantly.
One of the ladies at my work asked me the other day how I have stuck to my diet as long and been as relatively successful as I have been – my reply was simple – “I don’t suffer”
So stick with it ladies – and don’t go without too much – thanks again for all of your support reading my musings…
Considering I work in a marketing department you would think I would understand packaging – at least somewhat. However, my area of expertise is the web but packaging and branding although not an exact science by any stretch of the imagination are still two things I should have at LEAST a rudimentary knowledge of – an expert if my boss reads this (cue the crickets).
If the above is true then why am I constantly amazed by the methods by which companies will deceive people into using or partaking in their product? More specifically, their diet or light/lite products… I shall revisit.
I have come to the conclusion that in order to be successful at dieting one must posses a modicum of mathematical skill. Enough skill that calculations can either be performed on the fly or at the very least within a reasonable amount of time – assuming you not wish to lug a calculator around with you.
And the marketing people that work for companies that package the “diet foods” know very well that not only do people generally not carry calculators with them – but the vast majority of them suck at math.
Now where was I – right – I used to think that to lose weight and keep it off all I had to do was count calories – then someone told me that I needed to monitor my “bad” fat intake and take more care to increase the “good” fat. Then someone said something about monitoring my intake of carbs vs proteins and maintaining a healthy supply of starches – ugh – this is like physics and I hated physics.
The LW and I went to the States on the weekend to replenish some of our (not available in Canada for some ungodly reason) foods – read – ICBINB spray and 100 cal packs etc. Needless to say there was a LOT of potentially yummy foods that I could have purchased and had no guilt in decimating – until I read the label. 100 calorie packs are a cool idea – some of which however have 10 (TEN) or more grams of fat – how in their right mind can any company honestly have the nerve to even SUGGEST that this is a diet product? Therein lies the rub – it isn’t a diet product it is a LITE or LIGHT product – apparently a big difference that only a seasoned label reader would have discovered.
So here is my open complaint to the manufacturers of the foods that we all loved that gathered us all here with a similar goal in mind –
Please label your products more effectively – or at the very least remove the term light or Lite or any derivative of that word. We are dieters not scientists and linguists and if you are going to build convenient 100 cal packs (which are great in most cases) please don’t refer to them as such if they are loaded in saturated fats (it saves my lazy ass from having to read your label).
Please make the serving size equal to the size of the package if it is a single serving package. Telling me that 125ml is a serving size and giving me a 257ml bottle is silly and only asking for me to screw up the calculation (thank god I am good at math).
Now that all the marketing people that may or may not read this drivel have said “ya sure buddy – we make the calcs tough for people like you because you are our bread and butter – we don’t WANT you to be able to decide not to use our product” – so from henceforth, I revolt! – damn you bizarre shaped and identical sized potato chip company – I will never purchase one of your tubes again – your 100 cal packs are an insult to dieters everywhere.
It’s ironic really – when we decide its time to lose weight we program ourselves to think that it’s going to be difficult and that we are going to have to sacrifice everything we have become in order to FINALLY be able to shop off the rack. We psyche ourselves up for what is generally one of the most difficult things we will ever have to do – and it is going to take a long time to do it.
We spend all our money on “diet-safe” foods and change some of our past rituals in order to ensure we can maintain our status quo. We make new office lunch friends – replacing the old “dine a la anywhere but the office” ones with the “stay at work and eat what I brought” crowd – they of the brown bag crew – Harry Potter lunchbox in my case…
Then we change the lives of those around us – “don’t try and give me any candies or chocolate” – “no thanks, I don’t want any of the cookies you baked” – “no, I don’t want to buy any more Girl Guide cookies or chocolate almonds – I don’t care that your kids need money for their band-camp” (ok – so we don’t actually SAY the last part) – you get the idea…
Then our family – “if you are inviting us/me over for dinner here is a list of what I can and can’t eat – better still, I will bring my own food – can I borrow your microwave and a veggie steamer?”
Not to mention the hours and hours of our lives that we used to spend in front of the television and/or the computer that we are now spending at the local gym – oh how the lazy have fallen. A leopard can indeed change his or her spots…
And then, after all the above – after months and months of breaking old habits and constructing new ones – week after week of stepping on the scales with trepidation always expecting the worst but hoping for the best – we finally start to see progress – our clothes fit better, we feel better, we have more energy, we start to look better and then what?
“you look like you are losing a lot of weight – are you sick?”
People suck!
Thanks again to the visitors – your comments inspire me to continue reporting my “interesting” view of things…
In answer – no I didn’t get the body comp done – its been a habit of mine that if there is any question of whether or not the scale will measure me (for one reason or the other) its safer in public for me to assume not – generally speaking scales only go to 300 or 350 lbs – which unless I shave a leg or two – would exclude my current bulk.
The company I work for – rightly or wrongly – cares about the health and well-being of its employees and many of those same remain startlingly loyal but complain with a vengeance whenever they can – if placed in a situation though I think most, myself included, would happily tell you about the company where we work.
So why the justification you ask?
Don’t worry – I am indeed going somewhere with this. At my work this week it is “Wellness Week” – or “Wellness Works” because it’s usually on for longer than a week. Some of the activities during said period include a walk in the woods (the company is built on an apple orchard and part of the land is a protected forest), Pilates classes, Salsa lessons and today’s “lunch and learn” was Body Composition – for which I signed up for.
The class itself was pretty interesting and the personal trainer that the company hired seemed as though he knew what he was talking about and was happy to answer any and all questions we asked of him – of course he also spent a great deal of time pimping himself and his training studio during the session but that’s ok – I still learned some neat stuff…
However, I also had some bizarre (yea – like that’s a stretch for me) thoughts or epiphanies while I was listening to him and of course I am going to share them with you now…
Why is it that personal trainers always yell when they are speaking or teaching people? I assumed it was a bizarre trip bordering on ‘roid rage’ – not that I could prove that short of telling him to drop his drawers and checkin’ on the boys – but that would have been a little much in a room full of colleagues I’m sure – part of me wanted to jump up and yell back at him “Dude, I’m FAT not DEAF!” – Needless to say I thought better of it even though it would have made me feel better.
Why is it that when there is a class that is body related or health related that the room is predominantly women? Assuming that the only people in need of a personal trainer are women would make sense even though we all know that that is ridiculous. I work for an insurance company people – there is a lot of old and fat men there too, myself notwithstanding. But the only men in a room of 20 people were me and a guy that takes ALL of the wellness classes because he gets an extra half an hour for lunch. (Seems counter-intuitive to take a wellness course in order to get more time for lunch – what do I know).
I am amazed as well how open women are with each other – part of the class was that he had a “body composition analysis machine” – which was kind of neat. Rico Suave (I refuse to pimp him so I made up a name that seems befitting) suggested that if you wanted to keep them private that you could. Needless to say the women where trading their scores with each other like they were hockey cards – got em got em need em – women, I’ll never figure them out.
That’s it for now – aside from my gain today 5 lbs no less – but whatever, I’m not so fixated on the number and know that it will work out in the long run – my clothes are fitting better – not at all in some cases – which tells me more than a scale can any day.
Keep it up ladies – may you all be blessed with your own Rico Suave to yell at you too – thanks again for reading my diatribe – the LW appreciates the forum because without it I would surely subject her to my stories.
Today was the big day - the voyage in earnest to the surgeon that was going to plan my fate for my impending "ectomy" (don't all removals in surgery terms have the suffix ectomy)?
Needless to say I took the day off and planned my day around my appointment at the vet’s office (the term lovingly supplied and dutifully used by the LW over the last week or two) – he being the surgeon that was going to relieve me of my (what I and my family doctor thought) ingrown toenail.
…
The resolve of a woman dieter will never cease to amaze me – I read as many blogs as my psyche and my schedule can muster and I swear – either I am far less successful at creating the drama with my posts as some, or my life is like Little House on the Friggin Prairie by comparison. Not to mention all the acronyms that you guys have to deal with – this TOM dude is a real pain in the ass whoever he is – but everyone seems to know and revere him at least once a month.
And DH – aside from being a decent hitter – this person seems to be the one that gets the most flack – in most cases deservedly so – but I digress
…
So here I am – I have taken a day off when really I can’t afford the time from work – standing in the vet’s office awaiting my fate only to hear him say (I’m paraphrasing) “uh.. I can’t do anything with this – you’ll need a podiatrist for this – why did you come to me?” then he longingly looks up at me and with a blank stare and says (no kidding) “Do you know what a podiatrist is?”
At this point it might be a good idea to give you a little bit of background on yours truly. I don’t profess to be smarter than average, nor do I consider myself to be more educated – however, if at my age the word podiatrist has me thinking about anything other than feet I have issues that neither he, nor his damn podiatrist could fix – Worse still, is that when people are condescending with me I tend to not take kindly to it and will generally let you know that I don’t appreciate the pandering – now where was I…
What I felt like saying was something along the lines of “dude – suck my balls – while you’re down there” but settled on “certainly not to be judged by you – and I didn’t “come” to you I was sent to fix my toe which you apparently can’t do – so I’m out”… doctors suck – at least surgeons that remind one of a vet do anyhow – perhaps my podiatrist will be able to fix my verbal gymnastics problem too. ;)
Onward and upward – congrats to one and all that visit my page – especially those that make it this far – and TOM if you are reading this – leave these ladies alone…
