It would be shameful and frankly daunting to attempt to add anything about my friend and ex-boss that died last week – the LW did a masterful job of summing up who this remarkable man was in a way that I couldn’t have. Although I am sad about losing a friend – I am lucky enough to have known him. I know you are reading this somewhere C, regardless of anything else, Macs are still wannabe PC’s, and you still suck at Unreal…
Trust me to take a nice moment and toss in the usual male bravado purely for entertainment sake…where would men be without inane taunting for one another.
In regard to my diet it has been kind of on-again off-again for the last couple weeks. I took the LW shopping last weekend in Frankenmuth for her birthday (Happy Happy PCN) – so of course while we were there I indulged in anything and everything I could get my hands on – nothing was safe. And even though I had the best intentions to visit the gym on a daily basis (I even bought new work-out clothes while I was there) – that didn’t materialize – sipping shiraz to excess seemed more appealing at the time.
Needless to say – the scale reflected my over-indulgence last week when I visited ‘The Carm’ – have no fear – my routine is slowly working itself back to normal and I should be back in line for real next week – then it’s my birthday.
Thanks again to everyone that came and visited –
Live Life and Prosper (C’s version of the infamous line by Mr. Spock)
“Tell me why I shouldn’t fire your ass” said Donald as he leaned forward in his over-priced leather executive boardroom chair. “You haven’t lived up to your end of the bargain so why should I live up to mine” he continued staring right through me.
“I.. I know I promis…” I stuttered. Carolyn shifted in her chair glancing down the darkened oak boardroom table in George’s direction and giving him a knowing smirk. “Mr. Trump – I promise if you keep me around for another week – I will do better – you will not be disappointed”
“I already am” he barked as he uncrossed his fingers and leaned back into his chair. “You leave me no alternative – Steve – you’re fired”
I felt as though my world had come crashing down around me - it was in that very instant that I realized I would be walking into the dreary night, into the sleet and the cold of a New York fall and sitting in the back of the Yellow cab with the Yahoo sign on the roof…
It’s a good thing I don’t have to be accountable for my reporting and or blogging or that would indeed be my fate. I think I have just established my New Years’ resolution (because I don’t bother using weight loss any longer).
Let it be known that henceforth my resolution will be to fully utilize the capabilities of my verbal gymnastics and at the very least, post bi-weekly. I shall no longer prescribe to the “I have nothing to say” methodology because I have proven on more than one occasion that I am more than capable of filling this up with nothing and feeling accomplished for doing so. I know this is a weight loss blog but I am a rebel – and will post my usual “stuff” interspersed with my dieting pearls of wisdom (or lack there of).
So there, I have committed and more so than anything else I have assured myself that the accountability of having to ‘log’ my indiscretions remains intact for another year – in other words I am going to subject you all to my inane ramblings for at least twelve more months…
Thanks everyone for your continued support during the last year of my weight loss plight and I look forward to watching you all shed your way to seksi over the next year or so…
Also, thanks for your kind words in regard to my father - I truly appreciated the sentiments.
There are times during the course of our lives that cause us to reflect on who we are and even re-evaluate what is important and what we spend more time concerning ourselves with than we should. It’s during these evaluations that we are quickly and conveniently granted the ability to validate what we are doing and who we are doing it for. Anything over and above that is merely an excuse for over-indulgence – or so to speak.
When there is an event that causes you to re-evaluate your position it amazes me how quickly we are able to not only gather the correct information but over a very short period of time we run through the gamut of emotions in an attempt to establish a credible and long-term stimulus that can be agitated or massaged at a moments notice.
I lost my father on New Years day this year – why I am sharing this with you is beyond me – but it probably has more to do with my desire to write it out as my own personal pseudo therapy – please bare with me and don’t take offence to that and know also that this post will have little to do with dieting – although I may mention it a little in the last paragraph.
My father was a decent man who had been through a great deal of illness over the course of the last 10 years of his life. For the last three he was in a nursing home on the other side of town and he and I would share banter about English Football Premiership over a hot cup of Tim Horton’s coffee every Saturday. I think had my father passed 5 years ago I would have had a modicum of guilt and self-loathing to burden myself with – he and I often didn’t see eye to eye when I was growing up and it really has been over those last few years that our relationship reached the level that we were both happy and enjoyed spending time together.
There are many things about my father I will miss – and even a few I won’t – but I would still take the bad ones for one more conversation about Football (Soccer to the North Americans) or just to hear him ask me if everything is ok down my street…I love you Dad – rest in peace…
With that said – I wanted to wish everyone here a sincere happy New Year – and I hope you all enjoyed your holiday – now time to get back into routine again. With the vacation ending last week I was a little concerned about stepping on (as the LW so eloquently refers to it) the square again – but joy of joys I only gained 3lbs while in the Mayan (some if not all of that will be water weight too) – amazing what a little exercise will do – lord knows I didn’t watch what I was stuffing into my mouth. Thanks to everyone that visits and keeps me posting and in check – you never have to ask to add me as a friend – without you there wouldn’t be anyone to read my ranting – so the LW would have to listen to it all…
One more thing in closing – don’t wait too long to re-evaluate what is important in your life – things change and not always for the better…
As promised I am once again going to post to ‘tie up some loose ends’ before I fly off into the Mayan sunset with the LW in tow – truthfully, probably behind the LW – her excitement will move those little legs of hers pretty darn quick; I digress..
With the holiday season and everything else that’s been going on in my life lately its amazing really that I have had the ability to focus on diet and fitness – to my credit however it has become such a part of my everyday life that I almost do it instinctively now which means that I have come a long way. A far cry from the human vacuum that would devour anything within arms reach (because I didn’t want to get up to get it) not two years ago – times have changed…
The LW said something interesting in her half-awake stupor this morning as I was getting ready for work. I said “I don’t want to be a fatty anymore” as more of a flippant and glib remark than anything – to which she replied (I’m paraphrasing) “Good – there was a time when you were happy to settle with who you were even though it was affecting the way we were living our lives” – interesting and so very true.
So like I said – this post is the tying up of loose ends post – so here goes. The restructuring phase 1 at work is complete and I have ducked at the appropriate time and managed to maintain my employment unlike a lot of my friends, most of which are now happier working elsewhere – perhaps that is more of a statement of why they were terminated in the first place. The second phase of the restructure is now in progress, it will consist mostly of a shuffling of resources and then wait and see where you sit once the dust settles – either way I like my new boss and she wants me to increase my profile into a more senior position which is never bad aside from the ABUNDANCE of work I have been given in the mean time.
My Car – I capitalized that for a reason – I loved that car and am very upset to see it go, it went on many trips with the LW and I and in truth, was the first new car we bought together. Needless to say I finally settled with the insurance company on a dollar amount that was acceptable and have since purchased its replacement which hopefully will arrive on Saturday. It still pains me a little to see it sitting at the body shop already taking on its ‘left in the dump for too long’ form – it really is amazing how quickly things rust and how not a month ago I would look at it when it was clean and think it ‘still a nice looking car despite its age’… bon voyage, mon ami…
I think that pretty much covers the loose ends but I did want to say one more thing prior to closing for this post – ladies please, don’t obsess during the holidays. This is a time of indulgence and a time where we tend to loosen our belts a little – both physically and metaphysically. There is little point stressing about what you are putting in your mouth. I’m not suggesting an over-indulgence but what I am suggesting is that you not go without for the sake of a couple pounds. I believe (having been on my diet for almost 15 months now) that the more I try and force myself to go without the more I crave something and that you can enjoy things in moderation – this season not withstanding. So live a little and enjoy yourself regardless of your vice and have a happy and safe holiday season.
HoHoHo, Mistletoe and all that other Christmassy Crap
Although it appears to be a negative reflection on the impending festivities that are quickly dawning – I truly do love Christmas – I just hate all the crap that goes along with it. I’m not going to bore the heck out of you and regale you with my repugnant musings of how “Christmas has become so commercial” or anything similar – the prose that some people tend to spew at this time of year apparently reaching for some Dickens-like time that is foreign to all of us.
No no no, my Christmas woes are a lot more personal and closer to home than that and ironically the biggest one is that why does this holiday seem to revolve around food? I know that generally speaking people like to (or have to depending on your state of affairs) entertain over the holidays. Be it family or friends or a healthy mix of the two – it would be next to impossible (assuming you celebrate Christmas – for the ethnically diverse) to NOT be at some sort of function that revolved around food.
Have we become so inept at entertaining as a race of beings that we must dine in order to enjoy one-another’s company? I’d rather chat with my friends over a scotch or a beer even than have to look at him with mashed potato sticking in his moustache – AGAIN.
It’s a good thing that there are other things aside from food that drive me batty over the holidays too and the LW and I fall victim to one of them every year. People please, when someone asks you what you want for Christmas they aren’t being lazy – just tell them and so you know “I don’t need anything” or “don’t get me anything” doesn’t suffice. I mean seriously how hard is this question? Why do people feel the need to be so idiotically noble as to muster up that aforementioned gibberish? It’s silly and makes our job of gift hunting near impossible. At some point over the next 10 days the LW and I will glaze over with one of those “what the hell are we going to buy him” looks on our faces and join the hundreds in the malls with same and attempt to purchase gifts for our fathers – who are both kind enough to give us the above lines every year…
Seems I have once again spewed my quota with what seems like my becoming more usual non-diet rant – I’ll work on that focus in the New Year I promise. I will for sure post again during the next week – before the LW and I hit the sun and sand of the Mayan Riviera once again and let me tell you – with what has gone on in my life over the course of the last month or two it couldn’t come soon enough.
Thank you all for your concern in regard to the accident – as a follow up the car was written off by the insurance company (officially) and I am now in the middle of negotiations. Ironically, the insurance company and I are quite far apart in what we feel is the value of my now defunct car – go figure.. ;)
I know it was really only last week that I didn’t post on here – there must be a mistake somewhere because there is no way that I wouldn’t post on here – is there?
Ok, so maybe I have fallen down on my posting – which if you knew me you would find odd because I have lots to say (all the time) as the LW will attest. But to be honest, my diet plight continues without fanfare and without any difficulty. I have little trouble ‘sticking to plan’ because it has become almost second nature to me now. Avoidance of things like cookies and cakes and the like is easy – I don’t have a sweet tooth. And, even the salty snacks that have been my weakness in the past has become a distant memory – I do however, enjoy the bruchetta veggie chips.
Am I still losing? Yes, slowly but surely I move along and am now down 160 lbs and counting. The gym at work has recently added an elliptical which is awesome because it allows me the luxury of another cardio option which is never bad.
Other things – non diet related…
Someone decided to write my car off with me in it the other week. It’s really weird and saying “it was over so quickly” seems shamelessly lame – but it really is and unlike the little fender bender where everything seems to slow to a crawl – this was over before I knew what was happening.
I saw them moving toward me – knew they were going to hit me and the next thing I knew I was trying to catch my breath from the airbag fumes facing the other direction in a corn field. It could have been much worse and it’s a good thing for the airbag and the seat belt – they both performed as they should.
My company Christmas party was last weekend (Saturday night) and the LW looked amazing (as the pictures in her blog will attest) – I most definitely was the luckiest guy in the room because not only did she look fantastic but her old confidence is coming back as well – so the glow on her face was stunning… its amazing what losing 65 pounds will do to a woman and conversely – amazing what putting it on will do as well.
Thanks everyone for continuing to read and Sara for kickin me in the butt and reminding me to post – I do check in on you cats however, so noooooooo slacking.. I promise another post much sooner than the last.
I never really sat down and thought about my own needs in regard to my plight to succeed. It just didn’t dawn on me that I would get this far – honestly. I had assumed (perhaps correctly to some extent) that this would be like any other diet I had ever attempted. In other words – I would be a little OCD on the outset and then quickly lose interest when it stopped working.
Something occurred to me however while I was in the process of changing my lifestyle to include things that were somewhat foreign to me – it all comes down to patience. If you try to get somewhere quicker than it would normally take you – you will use extreme measures in order to get there. I know that is a really lame metaphor – but you get the idea and to my mind it applies to dieting more than even I would have imagined.
Realistically, if I had assumed after my first year on JFC that I was going to lose all 300 pounds that I wanted to lose from the time I started my diet I would have failed – and when I failed I probably would have wallowed in self-pity and potato chips (the latter more than the former) and I would have easily gained most if not all of the weight back.
So then I considered writing a post-mortem of the last year and my new goals for this year but decided that that would signify an ending of something in my mind – and frankly I like the path I am on and don’t need a ‘fresh start’ – so screw it..
So here I am a year later and that much closer to my goal still reveling in the mini-successes and triumphs as I plod along my merry way. I do like posting here (even though I don’t do it enough) because it keeps me grounded and allows me an avenue to spew my usual verbal diarrhea (forgive the term – but it seems the most fitting)… a big thanks to all of your continuous support – knowing you are reading and actually reading your comments and notes of encouragement and good cheer mean a lot to me and give me the impetus to once again regale you with my stories of my jaded wisdom…
Awesome trip with the LW last week – her being so surprised was only the true topper – shame she wasn’t home when I told her we were leaving, I would have loved to see her face. Either way, we are home and suntanned and rested and over-carbed and over-sodiumed and quite honestly, happy to be home and back on plan (and yes, I know I just made up words in that last sentence – it’s not that big of a deal really I am just exercising my journalistic creativity – call it linguistic gymnastics if you will).
In regard to the carb-overload – it’s difficult when you are faced with a menu that is laden with so many carbs to actually eat ‘relatively’ well and still manage to keep an even balance. What’s more difficult when you think about it – is standing in front of a buffet in Mexico and not pulverize your body regardless of what you jam into it…
So I did… somewhat…
I discovered long into this diet process that eating properly is really only a misnomer for not eating shitty food. And by shitty food I mean anything that before you stick it in your mouth makes you do that mental judge and jury thing.
“Should I be eating this?” or “Is this good for me?” – in reality if you find yourself asking these questions or any similar to that, the answer is more than likely no. We all know how to diet at this point, at least subconsciously, and our minds although they can be jaded by things like hunger and desire – will still put up a little bit of a mental battle; although in most cases it tends to be one that is only shortly contested.
Needless to say the key especially when on vacation – seems to be activity. Over-indulgence is allowable in the right context and with the right mindset once the activity is completed. At least that is what I keep telling myself… and part of that has helped me lose 150 lbs and still do so while going on two all inclusive carb and alcohol saturated vacations.
You guys didn’t think I would go all the way to Mexico and not bring back some observations to share with you now did you?
Here goes…
Please tell me how there are still men on this planet that didn’t get the memo in regard to the ‘banana slinger’ bathing suit. Lord KNOWS we don’t need to see that – so if you or your significant other owns one of these – burn it in my honor.
If you are ever in Mexico and are stuck in the middle of nowhere at midnight and a few miles away from where you are staying – if a cab driver offers to take you back to your resort – don’t say “come on man – you can do it for cheaper than that – we’ll walk” it tends to piss off your LW – or at least, make them wonder why you are trying to flaunt your misguided machismo when you have no leverage whatsoever.
If you see a red flag on the beach in Mexico it means – “hey – white gringo that isn’t used to the ocean – take your sunburned ass back up to the pool and try swimming in me tomorrow” – Again my misguided machismo cost me – this time a pulled hamstring.
Anyhow, weigh in was yesterday and I am only up 9lbs – if this is any comparison to the Mayan (when my first weigh in when I got home I gained 22 lbs) I am still in pretty good shape – assuming I lose almost 20 like I did last time again – I will keep you posted..
Love the name – almost gives it a CNN feel and now, should my exploits make their marquee I am ready with a cool name…
“here we are reporting to you live from Steve and Tiiu’s place where Operation: Anniversary is in full swing – I’m Anderson Cooper, back to you Aaron.” – tell me that doesn’t work..
Anyway, enough of the space-wasting gibberish – assuming there is substance to my posts of course…
I had promised you all an updated “anniversary post” so here it is. This morning when the LW came home from work at 8am I surprised her with a trip to Puerto Vallarta for our anniversary. It was a complete surprise to her and needless to say it went off without a hitch. Why Operation: Anniversary you ask?
You would have to understand the psyche of the LW in order to truly gain an appreciation for the lengths by which I had to go to in order to a) ensure she didn’t find out b) figure it out because I inadvertently gave her a hint; and c) upset her because she isn’t real good with surprises…
Needless to say it went off without so much as a hiccup and we are Mexico bound – we may try and update while we are away (there is an internet café on the resort) but if not we (I) will talk to you all when I get back from my week of indulgence, sun and relaxation.
In answer to your question Sara – most men that diet aren’t as comfortable in a group setting as women are – they tend to ‘suffer in silence’ mostly because it is an ego thing – being unhealthy is a sign of weakness (think of the hunter mentality – hunt them when they are weak). I know that seems archaic and lame – but well we are men and generally speaking we function on more primitive levels than women do – our needs are more direct and the best support you can give him (IMHO) is to help him out when he wants to make a bad decision. I look to my LW more for her knowledge than her cheerleading… and Bernie – thanks for your continued kind words and support of my overindulgent ramblings..
Have a great week ladies (I posted an updated pic in case you didn’t notice)…
So I’m leafing the pages of my “new” favorite mag over the weekend, the new favorite, in case you are wondering is Men’s Fitness and its cousin Men’s Health – had you told me a year ago that I would be looking at a magazine with almost nude cut-up people in it I would have bet money it wouldn’t have been men (if that isn’t a commentary on how my mind works nothing will be).
I love the mags and they give me some great workout ideas that I have incorporated into my daily routine. They even try and point out some of the ways people ‘cheat’ the exercise and how to avoid those predisposed pitfalls. These are a far cry from the cartoon/computer rags I would have gravitated to a year ago… once again proof that I have indeed made a lot of changes in my whole being – physically and metaphysically.
Something struck me however, and I thought I would share it with you guys because it certainly made me say – holy shit (or some other similar expletive – you get the idea). In large type face on the page was a little call-out box with the numbers 7100 highlighted for easy viewing. When you read the small caption below it says – and I’m paraphrasing – “The number of calories a person consumes during the average Thanksgiving Dinner”…
7100!
Something to keep in mind for all of you that are considering the one day ‘fall from grace’ as it where. Thankfully, the LW outdid herself with a fantastic Thanksgiving meal this weekend and I was also smart enough to avoid the over-indulgence tactic that would have seen me in a tryptophan induced coma come 8pm on previous years. And this year, both the LP-in-laws and the LM where somewhat more palatable than other occasions – I think the LW is right and that when they are there together they help us entertain them – which is never a bad idea. (hehe – these acronyms are killing me – I am going to need a legend soon to keep them straight).
Anyhow, off to weigh in this evening again – I know, I know, its Tuesday and I usually weigh in on Monday night – in her infinite wisdom the Carm decided she needed to have Thanksgiving off too – how inconvenient but I suppose I can live with it.. ;)
Have a great week ladies – I should have another anniversary addition of my blog coming up over the weekend – no not the JFC anniversary one much more important to me than that – its six wonderful years with the LW this weekend… and I am giving her the gift of laughing her ass off watching me leave the house at 9am on Saturday morning (the day of our anniversary) to write a math exam – seems somewhat poetic but enjoy the first gift dear..
