Carryingon asked me about loose skin. A few posts ago, I talked about loose skin, where I presented the notion that loose skin is a myth and is in reality just more fat to be lost. Here are some websites for further reading on this topic:
I don't know if this is true for people who have massive amounts of weight to lose or for people who lose their weight too quickly without exercising. I only (can't believe I'm saying "only") lost a little under 60 pounds to get to my goal weight and did it over a two year period while incorporating what for some would be a fairly rigorous workout rotation.
I feel that because my body fat percentage was so high before I started, it remains higher than for some people who are the same weight as me. We all know that fat cells don't go away, they just shrink. (That's not entirely true, fat cells shrink when you lose weight, and they do die off once they're no longer needed as storage deposits, but scientists are not sure exactly how long this takes, according to Christopher P Newgard, PhD professor of pharmacology and cancer biology at Duke University.) We know that most normal weight people have 40 billion fat cells, while obese to morbidly obese people can have 100-300 billion fat cells. It seems reasonable to me to believe that even though my extra billions of fat cells have shrunk and are "waiting to die" (Die, you little bastards!!), that leaves me with more fat overall than someone else my weight who was never overweight to begin with, if you see what I mean. I will need to achieve a lower body fat percentage and higher lean muscle mass in order to get the same look. I do believe that if I lose body fat and build more muscle mass, my belly will tighten up. I do not have thin, crepey sheets of just skin on my arms and belly. I have rolls. In spite of being 133-135, I have more weight to lose.
The question remains, since I've been maintaining at 133-135 for over a year, what more drastic measures must I take in order to burn this fat off and build up that muscle. That's why I've ordered the book that focuses on higher performance and am considering stepping up my exercise to a new level.
How that applies to people on a different journey, I don't know.
Carryingon, there is always a glimmer of hope. There's more than a glimmer!
Now this brief interlude for a bit of psycho-babble
I've been banished to the computer room because hubby is in the living room doing the Jari Love Get Ripped workout. (Much groaning and unnatural noises are coming from in there. I'm afraid to look. When I did my workout this morning, I didn't mess around with groans. I was flat out cursing the woman. It's very therapeutic.)
So anyway, in my exile, I have been cruising around visiting various blogs. I've noticed a pattern in some of the newer blogs: negative self-talk. I'm as guilty of negative self-talk as the next person, so if you see me doing it, please give me a nudge, just as I am going to do right now.
I spent most of my adult life not only feeding my face with crappy food but also feeding my mind with negative messages about myself. I recognize them all. I have said them all. Sadly, I have also believed them all. I don't anymore. The first step in overcoming negative self-talk is to recognize it. Know that what you are saying to yourself is a LIE. Brush it off. If you can, replace it with a positive message. If you're not up to talking positive to yourself yet, at least replace it by saying, "No, that is a lie."
I encourage you to banish these sentences from your self-talk. They are all either flat out lies, or useless messages that lead only to negative feelings and visualisations of failure. Blot them out. When they pop up, stand up to them and say, "NO. That is a lie. I am not lying to myself anymore," or, "NO. This roads leads nowhere, and I'm not on this road anymore." They're listed in random order.
As you read each one, think of how you have said it to yourself, in whatever variation you have used. Think of the context in which you've said it. Think of the feelings it's brought up in you. Think about why it's a lie, why it's a road to nowhere.
1. I am so sick of failing. I am afraid of failing again.
2. I hate myself. I hate my body. My body is my enemy. My body is against me. My body is separate from me. I hate this fat, I wish I could slice it off.
3. I am weak. I have no self-control.
4. I hope I can stick with it this time. I hope I can manage.
5. I always sabotage myself. Why have I sabotaged myself? Why do I keep doing this? (and all other variations of the same)
6. I can't.
7. I don't have time.
8. It's easier for her, she _______ (has money, doesn't work, doesn't have kids, has a supportive husband, has a personal trainer, is naturally thin, doesn't have food issues, whatever).
9. I don't believe in goals.
10. I'm just fat. I've resigned myself to the fact. All I want is to be less fat.
11. I am pathetic. I make myself sick. I am sick of myself.
12. Somehow I managed to not exercise for a week. Somehow I managed to go off plan for a week.
13. I try hard, I'm on plan and I'm still not losing weight. What is wrong with me? There must be something wrong with me.
14. This is so hard, it's so hard, it's just so hard. It's all so difficult. This is the hardest thing I have ever done.
15. I'll be glad when I've lost this weight and this will all be over. I'll be glad when this is over and I can get back to my regular life. Only ___ more pounds to go and I'm done.
I'm not saying you can never have a whine, but a constant stream of this rubbish is not at all helpful. Make an effort to let it go.
Wow, I just finished Jari Love's Get Ripped 1000. It has to be the toughest workout I own. When I finished, I was completely soaked with sweat. My sports bra was like I'd stepped under the shower wearing it. Even my socks had a wet spot on them! As usual, I'm sure the downstairs neighbours were thrilled at me doing football runs over their heads at 8.00 in the morning. Oh, well, they ought to get their sorry butts out of bed and get moving themselves!
Today we are going to do some shopping and pick up some stuff to make our beloved vegan pizzas for lunch. After what I've just been through, I need some fuel!
You know, I'm thinking of getting a heart rate monitor to tell me how many calories I'm burning. I'm really curious about that. I'd also love to have a definitive BF% test. The last one I had was a hand-held thing that you hold at arm's length. It told me I was at 29%. Bah. I'm sure it was right. My skinfold calipers say 22%, but I recently read that if you have "loose skin" (ie, hangy fat rolls) calipers aren't a very accurate measure. I would love to get my actual BF% under 20%. I am hoping to get some good tips from the new book I've ordered (Thrive) to help me achieve my new fitness goals.
I'm so glad I've lit a new fire under my a$$. Maintenance was getting boring.
I'm even toying with idea of getting a personal trainer! We'll see...
I ordered Thrive when I found a used copy online for £4.00, but The Thrive Diet is expensive (it's only just come out this year) and so I will read the first book and if I like it I will spring for the second.
As soon as I've read it, I will fully update you on any new information I encounter!
I already knew this, but I guess I just needed to read it over and over again to get it into my head.
There's no such thing as loose skin, at least in the way that I was using the term. What I have is rolls of skin with subcutaneous fat, ie, fat rolls. They are not as thick as they used to be and they're not as solid, but they're still fat rolls. You can tell the difference between skin and fat rolls by pinching up skin on the back of your hand. See how thin that is? That's skin. Now grab that "loose skin" on your belly. How thick is that? Guess what--that ain't just skin. That's fat. If you've got loose skin, what that really means is you've just got more fat to lose, so I'm reading. Well, hell. I knew that! I was just hoping that someone would tell me what I wanted to hear. But since when at any point in this weight loss journey has anyone ever told me what I wanted to hear? (Except those bastards trying to get my money--Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers and Slim Fast, etc, etc.) I'm just glad a few people (not all) keep telling me what I need to hear: the truth.
The truth is, I need to modify my lifestyle yet again. I need to eat more like a healthy bodybuilder and less like a chocolate-snarfing library assistant (which is what I am). I need to increase my lean body mass and cut the fat.
That's it then. I need to read about bodybuilding--natural vegan bodybuilding, obviously--instead of basic nutrition and weight loss. I'm done with weight loss. I want to move up to the next level in this.
I found a before-and-after photo that says it all. My body looks so much like the before photo on the left that she might have lobbed the head off a photo of me and stuck her own on! Well, to be honest, I have better body tone than her before picture, but the small chest and little bit of flab on the belly look like mine. And her results on the right are precisely what I'm after. I have no intention of taking any weird supplements or trying to get results in 12 weeks. It's just the photos I was amazed by. Have a look.
Okay then. I'm through telling myself I have "loose skin". I'm off to find some reading material on leaning out and building muscle. Any help would be greatly appreciated!
I was watching myself in the mirror yesterday as I was doing Super Cardio Sculpt. I often do this both to check my form and as motivation. Sometimes I think I look really good, other times I just pick on flaws. I think it depends on the workout (the type of moves I'm doing) and the outfit I'm wearing at the time. During weightlifting things look pretty good, but during cardio, when everything is moving, it can be a terror to behold. I have loose skin all across my midsection and a layer of belly fat covering my abdominal muscles precisely where a six-pack ought to be, and honestly there is a six-pack under there because I can feel it, I just can't see it because of this stupid layer of fat. The loose skin is my fault. If I hadn't spent the previous 25 years of my life weighing at or over 200 lbs, I wouldn't have extra skin there. The stretch marks are my fault, too, for being fat and never exercising and not eating right. I can live with the stretch marks and even a bit of loose skin, if only it were EMPTY loose skin. To be honest, I think I would need to lose another 15 or 20 pounds to get this last layer of fat gone.
My arms are taking on a nice shape from the weightlifting, but you can only see a modest shapeliness to them because they too are coated in a layer of fat, particularly the backs of my upper arms. Yes, I've got Oprah bingo wings. They aren't as big as the used to be, but they're there, hanging under my arms when I proudly flex my biceps at myself. Biceps on top, bingo wings on the bottom, the arms of a formerly fat fitness fanatic.
Then there are my upper thighs. I've done some damage to those through my years of fatness, I think. It's almost like scarring on the inner thighs. They just look like they used to be fat, the fat has sort of shrunk down, and the skin has done its best to catch up but can't quite make it. I noticed this when doing kickboxing moves standing sideways to the mirror. (I was actually checking to see if my panties were showing during that side kick move, and actually yes they were, but it was the thighs themselves that were more frightening!)
Anyway, I wish there was something I could do to tighten things up and to get rid of that last bit of fat. I mean, something magical, not kicking up my exercise and cleaning up my diet more. *sigh*
Right, off to work. Tonight it's Get Ripped with Jari Love!
Simon Pegg, one of my favourite comedic actors, has a new film coming out here in September. I don't know when it will be released in the US. Basically, he dumped his girlfriend at the altar years ago and now decides he made a mistake and to win her back he's going to run a marathon. This teaser trailer is hilarious, with lots of Rocky references:
Speaking of Rocky, we bought 'The Heavyweight Collection' DVD set containing the Definitive Special Edition Rocky, Rocky II, Rocky III, Rocky IV, Rocky V and Rocky Balboa. Last week, we watched one per night. I can see why Rocky was nominated for 10 Academy Awards and won three, including Best Picture. It is absolutely stellar. After Rocky II there's a sharp downward slide, bottoming out with Rocky IV and all its 80s pop video excess. It's really just one long training sequence with some pretty bad pop music caterwauling through it, topped off with jingoistic flag-waving and Rocky's semi-coherent can't-we-all-get-along speech at the end. But even though the critics seem to have hated it, I thought Rocky V did a good job reviving some of the old Rocky spirit, even though the street fight at the end was unsatisfying and Tommy Gunn's incredible mullet haircut was distracting. And of course Rocky Balboa is a perfect tribute and wonderful farewell to a great guy.
Take you back....doo doo doot doo...take you back....
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Right, home from work now. I subbed Nancy Tucker's Super Cardio Sculpt for Allie's Maximum Cardio Burn. I just couldn't face all those stars in the cheerleader segment of MCB. Still Nancy's smooth style is deceptive. I think I actually sweat more and get my heart rate higher in Super Cardio Sculpt. Love Nancy--so sorry she left the Firm, but she's got her own studio now and I do hope she films some of her own workouts!
Now--must figure out what we're eating for dinner tonight!
Enough with the 70s funk. I'm in a big enough funk of my own! Wouldn't you know I'm up two pounds. So mysterious, weight, isn't it. Such a big mystery. Couldn't have anything to do with all the potatoes (and chocolate biscuits in the break room) I've been eating lately.
Tell me this. Why is it that when I know I'm up a pound or two, the fat roll around my middle when I sit down seems so much bigger. I mean, what is up with that?
So, time to take action. Today is a nut free day. Wheat only once during the day. (I've already had my toast this morning). The rest of the day will be different grains. I had my share of the chocolate biscuits for the entire week all in one day yesterday, so that's a no go area. (Must think of wretched child slaves gathering cocao on some Ivory Coast plantation when I look at them. Picture the sores on his back and the miserable dirt-floor hut he lives in with his already-old-at-25 mum. Gosh, how can I ever let myself forget these images??? NO CHOCOLATE THAT ISN'T FAIR TRADE! EVER! Remember that, self!!) Lots of water. Must flush out those extra pounds forthwith!
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It's 7.03 I've just finished Jari Love's Get Ripped Slim & Lean and my rhomboids are already sore so I know I'm going to feel like a truck ran over me by tomorrow. I made it through the work day and only ate one biscuit. That's better than yesterday at least!
Yesterday after work, I did not want to workout. I'd had to work from 9 to 4 on a Saturday and I wanted to buy a giant chocolate bar and watch DVDs because I 'deserved it'. This happens to me so often. I don't want to, I don't want to, I just don't want to.
But what did I do to 'deserve' skipping a workout? What makes me think cheating myself out of fitness is a reward? Don't I deserve to be healthy? To look good? To have a top-shelf booty?!
I really, really did not want to do a work out. I talked to myself about overtraining, about listening to my body and taking a rest day when I need one, but you know what? I was only making excuses. I was talking myself out of doing the right thing.
Going against all my inclinations, I put on my exercise clothes anyway, dragged out the Step and Cathe's Low Max, moved the sofa out of the way and I did that workout. You know why? It's not about how you feel on the day. It's about a bigger picture than the way you feel at the moment. When I finished that workout, I looked at myself in the mirror, dripping with sweat, I checked myself out from all angles and I felt as triumphant as some kind of ancient warrior. How would I have felt if I'd sat on my butt and eaten a chocolate bar?
This morning it was Jari Love's Get Ripped to the Core. Everyday is a new day. Everyday you start over. Everyday you face the choice: am I going to work out, am I going to do what I know is right for my body and health? Or am I going to lie to myself yet again about why I 'deserve' to mistreat myself, to sabotage my own well-being and to perpetuate an endless cycle of self-loathing.
You have to keep pressing through, you have to keep challenging yourself, and you have to set your emotions aside.
Oh my gosh, I just made this dish and ate two of the ribs for my lunch! I meant to leave it for dinner tonight and reheat, but I couldn't wait to taste and it is so yummy! The original recipe is from Fat Free Vegan, but I changed some of the technique and it turned out great!
Barbecued Gluten Rybs
1 cup wheat gluten 2 tsp smoky paprika 4 Tbs nutritional yeast flakes 2 tsp onion powder 1 tsp garlic powder 3/4 cup water 2 Tbs peanut butter 1 Tbs tamari shoyu 1 tsp liquid smoke a few Tbs unrefined, cold-pressed sunflower seed oil bottled barbecue sauce (I used spicy woodsmoke)
Combine dry ingredients. Combine wet ingredients and add to the dry. Knead the dough until all liquid is absorbed. Leave on counter under upside down bowl to rest about 15 minutes. Knead again. Rest again. Use rolling pin to roll out to fit into an 8x8 casserole dish. You will probably have to pull and stretch it a bit as well. Pour sunflower oil over dough and turn to coat. Press the dough into the dish to make it fit the dish and to absorb the oil as you press down. Score the dough into 10-12 pieces. (The original recipe says 16, but that looked awfully small to me). Cover dish with foil and bake 25 minutes at 350 F (180 C). Remove foil and spoon barbecue sauce over all, turning carefully to coat. Return to oven and bake until sauce is bubbling and caramelising on edges.
