| Height: | |
| Start weight: | 190.00lb |
| Current weight: | 133.40lb |
| Goal weight: | 135.00lb |
| Lost to date: | 56.60lb |
| Remaining: | -1.60lb |
| 8 |
| January '09 |
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Did you know that if you are not a community member, you can still contact me by clicking the 'contact me' link to the right? A window will pop up allowing you to send me an email through extrapounds. So if you're a lurker with no extrapounds account, contact me if you like!
xx
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I will be updating it regularly as part of my annual goals.
Present Moment, Wonderful Moment
Today has been a rest day and I've eaten very well! (Using the phrase in the old sense, as in I've had some good things to eat today. Although nothing I've eaten has been terribly bad).
Breakfast:
black coffee
1 slice wholemeal toast with coconut oil and strawberry jam
1 slice wholemeal toast with cashew butter and strawberry jam
Snacks:
small pineapple, coconut and banana smoothie
a few soya crisps
a raisin biscuit
Lunch:
courgettes stuffed with brown rice, olive caper and tomato filling
green beans with mushrooms
vegan chocolate cake (which has aged well and tastes better for having been wrapped in foil and left alone a few days) topped with a scoop of dairy-free ice cream
Plan for dinner:
jacket potato with vegan chili
Yummy day!!!
I can see all obstacles in my way
Gone are the dark clouds that had me down
Gonna be a bright, bright, bright sunshiny day
Whew, I feel better this morning. Yesterday was a bad day, talk about hormone surges!
Today is my Citizenship Ceremony! I'm going to do a cardio workout and then wait around here for time to go. DH is going to go out to pick up a few things, including flowers for the flat! We'll take a cab to the register office because 1) I can't really walk that far in high heels and 2) it's actually raining today, despite my opening song. But then, it does rain here an awful lot.
So this morning I've had real black coffee (I think I needed it!) and a bowl of yummy soaked muesli, my favourite food. I've taken my round of supplements (flaxseed oil, calcium with vitamin D, B12 and selenium) and am working on the first pint of water for the day.
I do intend to have a few drinks tonight in celebration of my new citizenship status, then next week I apply for a UK passport!!!!!
I will tell you all about the ceremony and post photos ASAP.
Have a great day!
________________________________________________
I'M BACK! Have posted two new photos of Britain's newest citizen! Woo hoo!
I have had the worst case of PMS today that I've had in a long time. I have been trembling, angry, bloated, fat, unhappy, grumpy and pretty much just plain evil. I have raised my voice, cried, thrown things and eaten half a box of chocolates. I've got precisely 7 zits on my face; two of them can only be described as massive. My belly is pooching out a country mile. Nothing feels right, everything is pissing me off and I can't hang on to anything. Everything I pick up I drop. I can't find anything. I burned the dinner. I tried to make a cake and it didn't rise properly. Why the heck did I try to make a cake? I've already eaten half a box of chocolates today! What do I need with a cake? Vegan cakes suck anyway--that's why I never bother with cake. But I saw some people on TV eating cake and decided I wanted some. I have been nothing but psycho all day. It started around 10.00 this morning and just hasn't let up since. I just ate dinner, having eaten any and everything in sight all day, and my hand was shaking so bad I was having trouble forking up my noodles. Which tasted like crap anyway, as I'd burned the garlic.
I swear to you I feel like I am swimming in grease. I feel like my skin is oozing greasy fat, that I am nothing but fat. I feel like I could eat junk until I literally puke. (Sorry to be blunt, I'm feeling very, very blunt today. As my poor husband well knows.)
The dark clouds lifted briefly around 1.00 when I actually started, but since then it's all been building up again. It's 7.00 and all is SO not well. I hate hormones. Things aren't usually this volatile for me. I don't know what is going on. Maybe it's also stress from having the citizenship ceremony tomorrow. It's a huge big step in my life.
Ugh. This fat roll hanging over my shorts is grossing me out.
Okay, so stock take. What exactly have I eaten today. Let's make a list; lists calm me down.
I just did my first Kundalini yoga session last night using a new DVD called Ultimate Stretch Workout. I enjoyed it very much. It incorporates some chanting and some breathing techniques that I was not familiar with. I would have felt more comfortable with the chanting part if hubby had not been in the next room with the door open. There's a sort of singing meditation at the end that I had trouble with. It goes 'Guru guru wahe guru, guru Ram Das guru'. Guru means spiritual teacher, and this mantra invokes Guru Ram Das, the patron saint, as it were, of Kundalini yoga. I didn't feel comfortable invoking Ram Das, but found that when I substituted Jesus and Buddha, my spiritual fathers, I felt much better with it. I have no problem with a mix-and-match spirituality, so doing a kundalini workout while praising Jesus and Buddha felt perfectly fine to me. (I haven't updated it in a while, but I have a separate blog devoted to my spiritual practice called Present Moment, Wonderful Moment. Maybe mentioning it here--and this new addition to my practice--will inspire new blog entries there! In fact, come to think of it, I probably should have posted this entry there! Oh well!)
My only other experience with yoga has been ashtanga or power yoga, and I am sick to death of sun salutes!
I like the workout so much I ordered another of Ana and Ravi's workouts, Kundalini Yoga for Beginners and Beyond. 202 five-star ratings at Amazon can't be wrong!
For today, though, it's back to regular old weight lifting--hello Jari Love! Then after that workout, we're going to do a bit of shopping for some black earrings.
My citizenship ceremony is tomorrow at 2.30!!!
_______________________
Update: Just finished Get Ripped with Jari Love and drank my first Nutrient-Rich Shake. (See entry below). I didn't have the maca powder because the purveyor no longer stocks it and haven't sourced it elsewhere yet; also left out the probiotics. It was tasty and really hit the spot after a tough workout. Hooray for new things!
Yesterday I went and bought a new blender and spent some time ordering unfamiliar new ingredients for Brendan Brazier's "Nutrient-Rich Shakes", recovery food for post-exercise. On their way to me now are containers of hemp protein, gelatinized maca powder and chlorella powder. Can't wait to get this new book and start reading up!
Carryingon asked me about loose skin. A few posts ago, I talked about loose skin, where I presented the notion that loose skin is a myth and is in reality just more fat to be lost. Here are some websites for further reading on this topic:
The Myth of Loose Skin
Loose Skin and Weight Loss
I don't know if this is true for people who have massive amounts of weight to lose or for people who lose their weight too quickly without exercising. I only (can't believe I'm saying "only") lost a little under 60 pounds to get to my goal weight and did it over a two year period while incorporating what for some would be a fairly rigorous workout rotation.
I feel that because my body fat percentage was so high before I started, it remains higher than for some people who are the same weight as me. We all know that fat cells don't go away, they just shrink. (That's not entirely true, fat cells shrink when you lose weight, and they do die off once they're no longer needed as storage deposits, but scientists are not sure exactly how long this takes, according to Christopher P Newgard, PhD professor of pharmacology and cancer biology at Duke University.) We know that most normal weight people have 40 billion fat cells, while obese to morbidly obese people can have 100-300 billion fat cells. It seems reasonable to me to believe that even though my extra billions of fat cells have shrunk and are "waiting to die" (Die, you little bastards!!), that leaves me with more fat overall than someone else my weight who was never overweight to begin with, if you see what I mean. I will need to achieve a lower body fat percentage and higher lean muscle mass in order to get the same look. I do believe that if I lose body fat and build more muscle mass, my belly will tighten up. I do not have thin, crepey sheets of just skin on my arms and belly. I have rolls. In spite of being 133-135, I have more weight to lose.
The question remains, since I've been maintaining at 133-135 for over a year, what more drastic measures must I take in order to burn this fat off and build up that muscle. That's why I've ordered the book that focuses on higher performance and am considering stepping up my exercise to a new level.
How that applies to people on a different journey, I don't know.
Carryingon, there is always a glimmer of hope. There's more than a glimmer!
I've been banished to the computer room because hubby is in the living room doing the Jari Love Get Ripped workout. (Much groaning and unnatural noises are coming from in there. I'm afraid to look. When I did my workout this morning, I didn't mess around with groans. I was flat out cursing the woman. It's very therapeutic.)
So anyway, in my exile, I have been cruising around visiting various blogs. I've noticed a pattern in some of the newer blogs: negative self-talk. I'm as guilty of negative self-talk as the next person, so if you see me doing it, please give me a nudge, just as I am going to do right now.
I spent most of my adult life not only feeding my face with crappy food but also feeding my mind with negative messages about myself. I recognize them all. I have said them all. Sadly, I have also believed them all. I don't anymore. The first step in overcoming negative self-talk is to recognize it. Know that what you are saying to yourself is a LIE. Brush it off. If you can, replace it with a positive message. If you're not up to talking positive to yourself yet, at least replace it by saying, "No, that is a lie."
I encourage you to banish these sentences from your self-talk. They are all either flat out lies, or useless messages that lead only to negative feelings and visualisations of failure. Blot them out. When they pop up, stand up to them and say, "NO. That is a lie. I am not lying to myself anymore," or, "NO. This roads leads nowhere, and I'm not on this road anymore." They're listed in random order.
As you read each one, think of how you have said it to yourself, in whatever variation you have used. Think of the context in which you've said it. Think of the feelings it's brought up in you. Think about why it's a lie, why it's a road to nowhere.
1. I am so sick of failing. I am afraid of failing again.
2. I hate myself. I hate my body. My body is my enemy. My body is against me. My body is separate from me. I hate this fat, I wish I could slice it off.
3. I am weak. I have no self-control.
4. I hope I can stick with it this time. I hope I can manage.
5. I always sabotage myself. Why have I sabotaged myself? Why do I keep doing this? (and all other variations of the same)
6. I can't.
7. I don't have time.
8. It's easier for her, she _______ (has money, doesn't work, doesn't have kids, has a supportive husband, has a personal trainer, is naturally thin, doesn't have food issues, whatever).
9. I don't believe in goals.
10. I'm just fat. I've resigned myself to the fact. All I want is to be less fat.
11. I am pathetic. I make myself sick. I am sick of myself.
12. Somehow I managed to not exercise for a week. Somehow I managed to go off plan for a week.
13. I try hard, I'm on plan and I'm still not losing weight. What is wrong with me? There must be something wrong with me.
14. This is so hard, it's so hard, it's just so hard. It's all so difficult. This is the hardest thing I have ever done.
15. I'll be glad when I've lost this weight and this will all be over. I'll be glad when this is over and I can get back to my regular life. Only ___ more pounds to go and I'm done.
I'm not saying you can never have a whine, but a constant stream of this rubbish is not at all helpful. Make an effort to let it go.
Wow, I just finished Jari Love's Get Ripped 1000. It has to be the toughest workout I own. When I finished, I was completely soaked with sweat. My sports bra was like I'd stepped under the shower wearing it. Even my socks had a wet spot on them! As usual, I'm sure the downstairs neighbours were thrilled at me doing football runs over their heads at 8.00 in the morning. Oh, well, they ought to get their sorry butts out of bed and get moving themselves!
Today we are going to do some shopping and pick up some stuff to make our beloved vegan pizzas for lunch. After what I've just been through, I need some fuel!
You know, I'm thinking of getting a heart rate monitor to tell me how many calories I'm burning. I'm really curious about that. I'd also love to have a definitive BF% test. The last one I had was a hand-held thing that you hold at arm's length. It told me I was at 29%. Bah. I'm sure it was right. My skinfold calipers say 22%, but I recently read that if you have "loose skin" (ie, hangy fat rolls) calipers aren't a very accurate measure. I would love to get my actual BF% under 20%. I am hoping to get some good tips from the new book I've ordered (Thrive) to help me achieve my new fitness goals.
I'm so glad I've lit a new fire under my a$$. Maintenance was getting boring.
I'm even toying with idea of getting a personal trainer! We'll see...
