Now this brief interlude for a bit of psycho-babble
I've been banished to the computer room because hubby is in the living room doing the Jari Love Get Ripped workout. (Much groaning and unnatural noises are coming from in there. I'm afraid to look. When I did my workout this morning, I didn't mess around with groans. I was flat out cursing the woman. It's very therapeutic.)
So anyway, in my exile, I have been cruising around visiting various blogs. I've noticed a pattern in some of the newer blogs: negative self-talk. I'm as guilty of negative self-talk as the next person, so if you see me doing it, please give me a nudge, just as I am going to do right now.
I spent most of my adult life not only feeding my face with crappy food but also feeding my mind with negative messages about myself. I recognize them all. I have said them all. Sadly, I have also believed them all. I don't anymore. The first step in overcoming negative self-talk is to recognize it. Know that what you are saying to yourself is a LIE. Brush it off. If you can, replace it with a positive message. If you're not up to talking positive to yourself yet, at least replace it by saying, "No, that is a lie."
I encourage you to banish these sentences from your self-talk. They are all either flat out lies, or useless messages that lead only to negative feelings and visualisations of failure. Blot them out. When they pop up, stand up to them and say, "NO. That is a lie. I am not lying to myself anymore," or, "NO. This roads leads nowhere, and I'm not on this road anymore." They're listed in random order.
As you read each one, think of how you have said it to yourself, in whatever variation you have used. Think of the context in which you've said it. Think of the feelings it's brought up in you. Think about why it's a lie, why it's a road to nowhere.
1. I am so sick of failing. I am afraid of failing again.
2. I hate myself. I hate my body. My body is my enemy. My body is against me. My body is separate from me. I hate this fat, I wish I could slice it off.
3. I am weak. I have no self-control.
4. I hope I can stick with it this time. I hope I can manage.
5. I always sabotage myself. Why have I sabotaged myself? Why do I keep doing this? (and all other variations of the same)
6. I can't.
7. I don't have time.
8. It's easier for her, she _______ (has money, doesn't work, doesn't have kids, has a supportive husband, has a personal trainer, is naturally thin, doesn't have food issues, whatever).
9. I don't believe in goals.
10. I'm just fat. I've resigned myself to the fact. All I want is to be less fat.
11. I am pathetic. I make myself sick. I am sick of myself.
12. Somehow I managed to not exercise for a week. Somehow I managed to go off plan for a week.
13. I try hard, I'm on plan and I'm still not losing weight. What is wrong with me? There must be something wrong with me.
14. This is so hard, it's so hard, it's just so hard. It's all so difficult. This is the hardest thing I have ever done.
15. I'll be glad when I've lost this weight and this will all be over. I'll be glad when this is over and I can get back to my regular life. Only ___ more pounds to go and I'm done.
I'm not saying you can never have a whine, but a constant stream of this rubbish is not at all helpful. Make an effort to let it go.