Hello all my EP buddies ... remember me?
I have something to tell you all .... I have failed miserably at getting back on the horse and starting my plan over again. This past few weeks have been really difficult for me and I kept making excuse after excuse to get my healthy eating plan kick started which really isn't good enough.
I am finding it hard being parted from James through the week and we have been talking a lot about me moving over here on a more permanent basis. I am finding this hard as my family and all my friends are over in Ireland but yet I want to be with James so much and am miserable throughout the week without him. I have to make a decision about what to do.
When I am here in England and James is working I feel so alone, at least at home I have my car and can go and see family and friends but here I know no one. Lots of talking and decisions to made over the next few months but it has been worrying me a lot. I feel James and I aren't as close now because of the distance and not being with each other everyday, I love it when we are together and it is breaking both our hearts not being together all the time. I know James wants me here and he works so hard for us. He wants to retire in 5 years time and hopefully he will get the chance to if the business goes the way it is forecast to. Imagine both of us retired at 43!
I know that is no excuse for not getting back into my plan after my blip. I have gained about 6lb which is soo disappointing and I feel disgusted in myself. I plan on having that 6lb off again in 2 weeks time though. I am going to go to the slimming world class and do everything by the book. My sister is going to do this with me and even though she can't afford to go to the class I am going to go myself (this is a big step for me believe me .. going alone and letting people see my weight). I have noticed a class here in the little village James lives in so will attend that one if I do move over here permanently and am hoping that I will make new friends in the process.
I don't find people as friendly here as us Irish though ... sorry if I am offending anyone but I find people don't say hello or good morning as they pass you on the street. I guess that is something I will have to get used to and I am sure everyone isn't the same. I also thought in enrolling on a course if I move here ... obvioulsy there are more colleges etc here so might do a photography course. I will of course need my own car so we will have to sort that ... imagine me having two cars, my beloved VW Eos for when I am in Ireland and a run around car here.
So that is my big dilemma that has been pre-occuppying my time and making me want to binge but I do need to refocus on my health as since eating unhealthy I have had skin problems, feel bloated and uncomfortable, I have hives developing which always happen when I am stressed, my clothes don't look as good on me, I have a really sore back at the minute (think it could be a lung infection as it hurts when I breathe), and TOM is playing up just like it did before I lost some weight :(
My neighbour next door died bless him. This has been a stressful time too as his wife Louise is in Ireland all alone with no family or anything. On the morning John passed away I sat with her and my heart was breaking for her the whole time, he died in a hospice and she wasn't there and she is so upset about not being with him when he needed her. I have been spending time with her so she isn't alone and cooking for her etc, her daughters are with her now to make the funeral arrangements etc.
Unforunately I won't be at the funeral as I am in England now. I was going to stay but she insisted that I went as she knew we were going away this weekend. It is James Dads 70th Birthday weekend so we are going to a log cabin in a forest in the Peak District, never been there so am looking forward to visiting something different. We leave today and will be back on Monday. I don't get to see much of my inlaws and the last time we were all together was at my wedding 5 years ago so it will be nice to celebrate my father in laws birthday with him and mothers day on Sunday with my mother in law.
My mum also turned 60 ... we had a party on Sunday with all the family and friends. It was a great day, we had caterers come in and do the food ... not good for me ... there was a cupcake birthday cake ... oh no! Anyway am not going to dwell on it.
So here is my plan. I am going away this weekend so am starting full force on Monday morning. I am going to start the slimming world plan all over again but am going to the their 7 day intensive plan to start with as they say this kick starts your diet and really gets your body used to its new eating regime. It is also supposed to lose you the most amount of weight. So I am going to do that for one week.
I will then continue with the standard plan for the next 3 weeks and continue going to the classes, there are few questions I need to get answered so will make a list and ask my consultant now I have the basics I need to ensure I am doing everything right. I have bought the latest magazine in preparation for Monday which is fill of receipes, success stories and motivation.
I am so sorry for deserting you guys but I have just had so much on my plate with everything that is going on in my life. Good news is that I am back and I am here to stay.
I need to go and pack my bag ready to go but will check in on a few of you now and a few of you later as I am running out of time but I will be there for you all .... sorry again and thanks to the few of you who emailed me (you are the best) out of concern, you know who you are! Will start with you two!
