DAY 133 - DOING WELL!

So I took ninamoonshine's advice yesterday and just chilled out.  I had all kinds of plans to work all day etc etc - but actually spent most of it in bed just relaxing.  I went for a swim in the afternoon and bought a new belt because my trousers fell down as I ran across the street in the rain...  Then I had a colonic! (Warning - it gets a bit grim from now on so stop reading here if you're squeamish!) I've been twice before for colonics and the girl who does me is just wonderful - really lovely.  Turns out she sees loads of people on LL!  I haven't been constipated at all but I had it in my mind that if I have it done now, there wouldn't be much up there so she'd be able to really give it a good old clean (if you know what I mean!!).  Actually she got a surprising amount out - so much that there was a bit of an explosion midway through and we had to stop!!   Anyway, I feel great now - I did the last couple of times too!

Then I had my meeting last night.  I got weighed but as promised didn't take the reading - so I don't know how I did - although I have lost weight and it seems I've moved into a new BMI (so BMI 28 it must be) which is really good news!  I may not make it next week so it's possible I won't know for a couple of weeks still what my weight is.  BUT I feel much more relaxed about it all at the moment and less stroppy about the whole thing.

Also - came to a bit of a realisation.  I went back on the pill exactly one month ago - it's during this last month that my weight loss has dropped dramatically and my moods have been really up and down.  Speaking to a nurse in my group she said it would almost certainly have affected my weight loss - she said some people actually gain up to one stone from going on the pill - from actual physiological changes - rather than just eating more through mood swings.  I feel a bit of an idiot because I'm sure I sort of knew that in the back of my head and now I feel I've wasted a whole month and slowed down my weight loss for no good reason.

Anyway, I'm stopping them.  The weight thing I can live with but I'm not having these mood swings (if indeed it is the pill that's causing them).  I was "drug free" from November - mid Jan and felt absolutely fine, so I'm going to try that again and see if that's what it takes for me?  I have been on Anti-depressants/injections/pills etc etc for the last decade (anti-Ds for the last 5 years until November last year!) - and it's time to just give myself a complete break I think.

So, I feel really quite positive at the moment.  It's reading week, so I'm sleeping till 10am each morning - which really helps me - do like having lots of sleep.

BUT - must get on and do some work or I'm storing up trouble for myself in the future.