So for various reasons I have been thinking ahead about management and when I will go into it.
I initially set my target weight at 11st 7lbs. I remembered being around that weight when I came back from Japan and being happy with it.... although in my heart I sort of wanted to be 11 stone because I had been 11st 3lbs at my lowest and thought it would be nice to be that few lbs less. During that time when I was in the 11s, I was very very active (playing squash competitively 3x a week and gym/pool on other days). Even up to 14 stone I was doing triathlons. At 18 stone I still cycled everywhere. So I'm quite muscley and have a large frame.
But my counsellor said that 11 stone is at the v. top of my BMI scale and I should really aim to go lower. So I looked at the scale and realised that 10 stone is midway in the BMI scale and thought - I'll aim for that. Also I've got a bit of a "perfectionist" thing going on which means that I can't just do something well - I have to do it even better (which is probably means I set myself up to fail sometimes?!? - a thought which has just come to me).
Kublai thinks that 10 stone may be too low for me and tells me that if you have a large frame you need to add 10% to the BMI scale (which would put me at 11 stone being healthy!).
Another problem is that I've signed up for the London olympic triathlon which is August 1st. I entered a few years ago but after a cracking swim time, I crashed my bike. It takes a LOT of training and although I am swimming/cycling lots at the mo, I can't really start to train properly until I'm eating again as I get faint/weak if I overdo it at the moment.
So should I not be aiming so low? When I started this I just thought I'd like to be a reasonable weight. Then I started thinking that I want to be really skinny - I've no idea why - even fantasising about being 9 stone or less. I think it might be because it's just something that is unrealistic for me - especially given how sporty I am - maybe it's a setting myself up for failure thing again??? Then again I have friends who are the same height as me and are 9 stone. It's within the accepted BMI after all! So is it unrealistic?
Am I setting myself up for failure by pushing myself to be 10 stone or am I thinking this now so I can "cop out" and stop sooner?
aaaaaaaaarghhh....
Posted By: gaijingirl
Comments to this post:
02/05/2007 06:48
so inspired!
Hey Gajingirl,
I sometimes post on the veggie board and have noticed your journey there - I have to say that I am blown away by your determination and success! It is very exciting to see someone come as far as you have, despite all the challenges.
I have been doing ww for almost 9 months and reached my goal weight (for ww - my personal one is a bit lower) and have changed both goals at least 4 tho probably 5 times since starting, so I can understand your trepidation about setting a goal that is too low or too far. Based on my own experience, I'd say that there are no rules saying you only have to have one goal - or that you have to stick to that goal after you've thought about it.
So if I were in your position, I'd still aim for 11 stone (your first goal and your healthy weight) and depending on how you feel when you get there, then aim for 10 st. Similarly, if you'd like to see how you feel at 9 st then go for it, but only really decide once you've hit 10 stone. I did something like that - aimed for 10 stone, then the very top of my healthy BMI (9 st 11) and then 9.6 and then 8.12 (and now 8.6). Part of me couldn't believe that I could ever get there and part of me is even more determined *just* because I've never been there before.
I also wanted to say that although we've never *met* I've been following your progress and reading your blog now and then. You write really well and it has helped me on my own journey. By the way, I also live in London, am 33 and am doing my phd in media and communications so can relate to many of your struggles with uni. Well done on doing so well on your first essay back *and* having your academic potential recognized by one of your lecturers - wooohoooo (I heart clever girls ;-)
OMG! Thanks so much for your reply! I can't tell you how much this has come at the right time. I've been really miserable the last few days - recently the weekends have been hell for me! Yesterday was particularly difficult as I had a family meal with my family and OH's family and everyone was saying how great I looked but concerned that i'm going too far. I burst into tears - mainly through being a bit exhausted and fed up with soups and shakes!!
I'm coming to the conclusion that I will stop the shakes/soup thing when I get to about 11 stone 11 or so (in about 1 stone's time) and then go into the maintenance thing. From what I understand, most people will continue to lose on maintenance. I will try to get down to 11 stone whilst on maintenance.
Then - like you say - take it from there. I'm STUNNED by your weight loss - just looked at the pics on your blog and you look stunning!
I'm coming to the conclusion that staying on the soups/shakes until 10 stone is becoming this insurmountable, huge, horrible thing in my head which just makes me want to eat. The idea of just losing one more stone this way and then doing something different seems so much easier to deal with. I think I'd rather come off this diet earlier and aim to continue to lose but having introduced food than just crack and raid the fridge - it took ALL my willpower not to do that yesterday.
I feel so much better for reading your message - thanks so much! I'm well impressed with your PhD studies!! I don't know if I will go on to PhD - it looks like it might be tricky for me to do that - although I'd love to study my subject in more depth - we'll see! I'm at SOAS by the way - whereabouts are you?
Again - thanks - you've cheered me up so much! If I can end up looking as fab as you I'll be over the moon!
I'm really glad my message helped you - I find it incredibly helpful to hear other people's experiences and challenges - very much part of the reason why I end up reading so many people's weight loss blogs!
I think stopping the soups and shakes at 11 st 11 is a *great* idea! It will mark an amazing accomplishment on your part and will also help you train for your other significant fitness goals (am gobsmacked as couldn't imagine ever participating in a triathalon - though do really really like squash and cycling). It is important to listen to our bodies and pushing yourself past your boundaries often results in our rebellious (and sometimes self destructive) selves coming out! I've done ww before and eventually felt as if the counting points was going to make my head implode - it started to get oppressive rather than liberating and if you're feeling that way, it's really good to stick to your original end date/goal weight.
Also, thank-you very much for your compliments! (I still have a hard time accepting compliments, but as part of my efforts to develop a *more positive self-image* I am learning to say thank-you and keep all my 'buts' and 'could bes' to myself - and surprisingly these little voices are decreasing in volume).
I haven't been able to find any recent pictures of you, but only can imagine that you must look incredible and probably feel like you have a whole new body! I look forward to seeing those pictures ;-) Your family probably can't quite cope with these changes and also probably have difficulty suppressing their overprotective and rather judgemental sides (I know my family always seems to let these parts loose on me and each other) so try to take their comments with a heaping tablespoon of salt. What matters most is how *you* feel and what *you* want.
BTW - I'm at LSE so not very far from you! I live in Hackney so generally have to travel 40 min - 1hour to get there (arrg). Let me know if you ever want to meet up for a tea/shake/soup!
