| Height: | |
| Start weight: | 240.00lb |
| Current weight: | 231.00lb |
| Goal weight: | 125.00lb |
| Lost to date: | 9.00lb |
| Remaining: | 106.00lb |
| 2 |
| December '08 |
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Well the past 3 days have been great. I have been eating well and working out. I had one slip up today. I ate some nachos and had a coke. I am trying to not beat myself up over it though.
I am doing way better so I am looking at the bright side. I must admit I am feeling great too!
I get to go to the spa tomorrow and get my haircut and a massage. It was a gift. I can't wait. Relaxation here I come!
Okay, so I have 3 kids, 12, 3, and 2. I homeschool the 12 year old and my mornings are normally very full. I think for the past 3 months or so, I have been taking a nap when the 2 and 3 year old do too.
NOT TODAY!!! I actually popped in an exercise video and worked out. I must admit, I feel great. I have been so tired lately but I am really trying to make changes. I know my diet, weight and lack of exercise had added to my being tired.
I also have eaten really well today. Hubby even gave me a little challenge. He is trying to be so supportive. If I have a good day and still to a healthy diet and exercise, he will surprise me with little rewards. I said terrific. Him doing the dishes, rubbing my feet,a card, whatever, will definitely help. 
Well, things have been difficult for me. I haven't been doing as well as I hoped, but I am trying to find joy in the small changes.
I have lowered my soda and tea intake. Instead of drinking those things only, I have now started drinking water and maybe having one soda.
I have been concidering pulling out my Weight Watchers stuff and trying again, but I think I am afraid. I am afraid to fail again. So in my mind, if I never try , I didn't fail. I know that is not correct, but I am trying to figure out what makes me tick. So I have been trying to make changes and eat better, but still not where I should be in order to lose weight.
I went to the gym one day this week so far. Okay, I know I need to work out way more, but again, trying to be happy with even going in the first place.
I pray daily that with time, this all will become easier and I will be 100% soon!
Well, as the old saying goes, "If you fall off the horse, you have to get right back on"! I fell off the horse and then some. My whole family became very ill, some sort of stomach virus. so I couldn't eat at all then, but I have more than made up for it over the past week.
Between watching the cooking shows for Thanksgiving and actually having Thanksgiving, I have managed to catch up for the non-eating time I had while sick.
So, here I am back in the saddle again. 
Okay, so I admit it! My guilty pleasure in life... reality tv. I love it! I am a stay at home mom with 3 kids, and I homeschool one of them. After spending all day with them and taking care of the house, I am ready to veg out and relax. One of the ways I do so, is by watching my favorite reality tv shows.
Last night I was able to watch "Biggest Loser". I love that show. I love seeing the transformations the people make and thinking to myself, I could do that. Then I ask myself, "why do I need to be on that show to make the changes?" Of course I always have the same answer. It's simply really. There, at the BL camp, they can focus on their needs and no one elses. There are no kids to worry about, no husband, no house to clean, no part-time job to work, no bills to pay and so on. They have a personal trainer and someone to show them how to eat well. After all of that thought, I realize why I need to go that show. But reality is, I can't.
So once again, I am left with the fact that if I am going to do this, then I have to buck up and stop making excuses. I am going to do this myself. Of course, I have the support of my family, but they don't really understand what I am going through. They haven't gained 40 pounds since March!!!!! And are now the highest weight ever. That is where you all on this site come in. You can relate. You know what it feels like to be overweight. You know how the stuggle feels.
Anyway, maybe it is time for me to alter my guilty pleasure a bit. Wouldn't it be great if my guilty pleasure became working out and going to the gym?
New day of the new me path. So far I have been focused on trying to make better choices. See in the past, I have dove head first into a "diet" only to feel like I am dying by day 3 and fall off of the wagon. This time I thought that I would slowly move into it and make small changes every 2 or 3 days. For example, the past 2 days, no soda or tea. I am a huge iced tea drinker. I make a 2 quart pitcher and put about 3/4 a cup of sugar in the container. I know I need more water instead, so I am trying to focus on that right now.
In the past, I used WW to lose weight. At one point, I weighed about 200 pounds and was able to get down to 150 with WW. Here is the big HOWEVER, I was also on Phentermine at the time. My doctor had prescribed it for me and recommended doing WW too. She told me that only using Phentermine would not keep weight off, I had to learn to eat better. She was right. I was feeling like a hot momma, down to size 10 , and then got pregnant with my 2nd child. It has been a downward spiral since then with my weight.
Anyway, so here is the thing... I am having serious doubts about my ability to do this without the meds. I know these are the demons in my head that I have to battle with and I know that if I really, really try, that I can do this ( at least deep down I know) but for some reason, I really fight myself about it.
I always have a reason not to try... "doesn't matter, I am so big, I will never be small again" or "Hey, the holidays are here and I have to eat huge plates of food right?" or " I am too tired to do this". Anyway, I could go on and on. The point is I am working really hard to change the negative thoughts I have about this process.
I can do this! Thanks to everyone who took the time to say hello and welcome me to the group. I appreciate it more than you know!
So, it's day one! Here I am, ready to start my new life. Somehow, I have managed to balloon to about 240 pounds. How did it happen? Well, I know how, but I guess I should be asking why did I let it?
I could give the normal excuses, life, kids, hubby, and so on, but I am not going to. The honest truth is I just got lazy, let myself go and stopped caring about myself.
Like I said before though, here is the first day of my new life. I love my hubby and kids dearly and now it is time to put some of that love towards myself!
Honestly, I get overwhelmed when I think about losing 120 pounds. That is a whole person. WOW! 
I am going to take it a pound at a time. Sounds like a good way to face this challenge.
I am excited about finding this site and hope to meet some great folks who know how I am feeling and can give support.
