I keep trying to tell myself that. I did great the first 2 weeks that I joined ww ( as far as weight loss goes). In all I lost 10 pounds. However this past week, I have only lose .5 pounds. Hey it was a loss right? It is just so damn depressing to be eating well and losing that slowly. Especially compared to how I was eating.
I have been struggling with some of my old habits lately too. I haven't given in, but it has been a constant fight not to snack on a big bowl of buttered popcorn at night, or the other night I wanted Burger King so badly, I could taste it. I have tendency to eat for emotional reasons. Joy, sadness, boredom, anger, you name it. This journal has helped somewhat.
We don't celebrate Christmas at my house. See my husband and I are both Christians, I would celebrate Christmas but out of respect for his feelings I don't . We do go and visit my parents and in laws and they give presents to the kids, but otherwise, nothing at home. I feel the need to explain somewhat. As I mentioned, we are Christians and believe in Jesus. However, after doing research about Christmas, we discovered that Christmas started as a Pagan holiday. At no time in the Bible, does it ever mention the date of Jesus' birth. So with that said, my husband feels very strongly about not celebrating Christmas because of it's origins. So as I said, I respect his feelings and do not celebrate either. It can be hard though. At this time of year, it seems everyone in the world is celebrating Christmas. I know they are not,but even the students I teach who live in Korea and many are Buddist , celebrate Christmas. I just did a lesson comparing Christmas here to Christmas in Korea. So I think that is not helping my desire to go and eat, eat, and eat.
No matter what you are doing, I hope everyone is enjoying time with your families and being healthy!
Hey there everyone. I have something I wanted to share that is completely off the weight loss topic.
I have been married to my hubby for almost 7 years. He is wonderful. He is my best friend. I could never imagine being without him. So you are asking, why is she babbling about her hubby? Well, I wanted to make sure you know how I feel about him before moving on.
A few weeks ago, I got an email from a boyfriend I had when I was around 20 years old ( I am 35 now). We dated for a long, long time. He was the type who never really opened up about how he felt about me. I knew he liked me, but he was never the type to say I love you. Anyway, after a long time, I got to the point where I started to question how he felt, because the relationship wasn't really moving forward ( you know, getting more serious). So I had decided to break up with him.
Well, when I did, he decided to spill his guts and tell me he loved me. He had recently bought a house and told me he bought it so we could move in together and so on. Needless to say, it was a HUGE shock to me. In the end, I said goodbye to him and moved on. I was a bit freaked out that he said nothing about caring about me so much and then did when I was breaking up. I questioned his sincerity.
So, a few weeks ago, he emailed me. Evidently he found me through a school website. He apologized for how he did not tell me he cared about me sooner. He told me that after I broke up with him, he was crushed. He did not date anyone for 2 years. He is 38 years old now and has never gotten married. He said he thinks about me all of the time. He wished he had told me sooner that he loved me and that we would have gotten married. Evidently he was going to ask me to marry him on New Years Eve 9 ( we broke up probably in Oct/Nov).
Anyway, the point to all of this is it has brought up a lot of memories. Makes me realize even more how important it is to tell people you love that you love them. I would never , ever jeopardize my relationship with my husband. Like I said before, I love him with all of my heart. I am just shocked that the old boyfriend has felt this way, and guess I needed to get my feelings off of my chest.
I went yesterday for my glucose test and today for the ultrasound of my liver. So I don't go back to the doctor's until Jan. 21. I would imagine that if something was horribly wrong they would call before then.
Anyway, I haven't eaten much the past 2 days due to those tests. I had to fast and then to eat only fat free foods. You don't realize how many foods have fat, even if they are low fat. I lived on veggies and a cup of white rice. Needless to say, I did not get all of my points in yesterday.
Today I was thinking about losing weight. It sucks that it takes so long to lose it. I realize that it does not get packed on overnight, however, I have had plenty of days when I felt like I gained 17 pounds in one sitting! I know it is a slow process to do it right, but it is hard to always stay positive and look at the bright side of it all. I keep trying to tell myself that I am making great progress and making positive changes. Any loss is a good loss right?
Hubby has still been giving me little rewards each day for staying OP. Last night he brushed my hair for me. Sounds silly, but when I was little my mom used to let me lay my head on her lap and brush my hair. I found it to be incredibly relaxing and still do. So my hubby did that for me last night. He has been great.
I think the worst part of it all is knowing I am losing weight, but still seeing the big, rolly polly, belly and not feeling good about that. However, I know deep down, it will change!!!!
So, I joined WW and decided to go to the docs about getting Phentermine. I decided to get on the scale today and I am down almost 10 pounds! I have been watching what I eat over the past week, but really stepped it up on Wednesday.
I decided to join Weight Watchers again. I know I need to eat healthier if I am going to lose weight, but I am not confident in knowing that I am eating enough and eating the right foods. So I am doing WW on line. I did not want to go to meetings, but I want the help. I figured this would work best for me.
Yesterday was my first day and I was OP. I actually feel like I had a geat day. Hopefully this is the start of many more to come.
So I went for a follow up visit after having some tests done at the Endocrinologist ( my doc suggested I go, thought something was wrong with my thyroid). The good news is that my thyroid is fine. HOWEVER, the rest of me is falling apart.
1. I am prediabetic. I have to go and have the 2 hour glucose test done next week to have some more testing done about that.
2. I have abnormally high liver function test. So I have to go and have a sonogram of my liver next week. Most likely it is caused by having a fatty liver. Guess I never concidered that my liver could be fat too.
3. My diastolic blood pressure is a bit high (90) so could be a sign of becoming hypertensive.
4. My testosterone levels are a little elevated. So now I am just waiting for my beard to start growing.
5. finally, I have elevated cholesterol.
Well, there it is, me in a nut shell. I am really feeling in the dumps right about now. Trying not to, but I am. I have known I needed to make some changes, but hearing all of this has me depressed. Of course, when I am depressed, what do I want to do???? EAt. I am trying this instead. Writing how I am feeling and hoping it helps.
I guess what is bothering me the most is that I let myself get this way. These are all issues that would not have happened if I were not fat. I am trying to use it as motivation, and not a depressor.
Thanks to anyone who read this and let me vent. I think it helped.
I am having a good day so far today. Debated back and forth with myself about whether or not to do Weight Watchers again. I did it once before, but I am not sure if I feel like dealing with the whole points thing. If I just eat better, won't that be just as effective? I know I need smaller portions and the right types of food. So say good bye to my good friends, Mr. Chip and Mrs. Mashed Potato. I guess though if they were really my good friends, they wouldn't have gotten me into this mess. Or maybe it is not their fault, by my dependancy on their friendship!
There is the thought for the day.
Anyway, I plan on going to the gym tonight again after I teach. I actually enjoy the time to myself. No kids, no hubby (even though I love them all dearly), just 30 minutes or so of me time. AAAAHHHHHHH!!
After much thought, I have decided to go to the docs and get phentermine. I took it once before and through a healthy diet, exercise and the meds, I was able to lose 50 pounds. I got down to 150 and a size 8/10! I forget what that size is like.
Anyway, it was a hard decision. I am looking at it like this, I need a little extra boost or support. I know I have to change my eating habits and work out. It is not rocket science and I am not fooling myself. I know the meds won't keep the weight off, I will. I just need the extra help. I feel overwhelmed by the fact that I have 120 pounds to lose ( that is a whole person!) and struggle to just see day to day.
So I am off to the docs tomorrow. I will check back in soon. Hope everyone is doing well!
So, I was pretty sick for about a week. Needless to say, all of the hard work I had done kind of went to the wayside. It is okay, I am getting back on track. I have decided that this whole weight loss thing is all a state of mind. I have to decide to do this and stick to it. I get hungry and want to eat crap, but I keep telling myself that summer will be here before I know it and I don't want to feel ashamed when it is time to put on shorts or heaven forbid, a bathing suit.
I am going to the gym tonight after I teach my class! Yeah me!
If you have never been to the spa for a massage or facial or anything of the sorts, by God drop what you are doing and run there!
I went to the spa today to get my haircut and to get a massage. First let me say they were gifts. I have never been one to splurge on that stuff because I am a stay at home mom of a family of five on a modest income. So that means trips to the spa are not a necessity.
Anyway, the massage was great. I wish I could take Jen home with me to give a massage everyday. I also think that the folks at the spa give the best haircuts. They better be the best though because it is $65!!!! To cut my hair??? !!! Of course Lucy, who cut my hair, told me I really need to come back in 10 weeks not 9 months like this time. Sure, if it costs about $20 instead of $65!!!
But anyway, with that said, I feel great! Everyone needs a little pampering now and then.
To make the day even better, I decided to get on the scale today. I have lost 3 pounds. It is a start. Of course I could kill my mother, God bless her but while she watched my kids as I went to the spa, she ordered my favorite pizza and brought over a HUGE tupperware box of various homemade cookies. I have been great so far though. Only ate 1 cookie. That's the idea right? Only one and be happy, not the whole box.
