So much information

YOu know , no wonder it is so hard to lose weight. There are about a million plans and forms of advice on what to eat, when to eat and how much to eat. It can be rather confusing. I have been following the Biggest Loser plan ( my mom got me the books). Then the other day, I watched, "I Can Make You Thin" on TLC and I feel completely confused. According to that show, it is the diet plans that are truly making us fat. We focus so much on what to eat and losing weight, that we are (in a nutshell) setting ourselves up to fail. It was a very interesting show. The host, Paul McKenna, gave 4 rules"

1. eat when you are hungry

2. eat what you want

3. eat consiously

4. stop when you are full

Pretty simple rules. Anyway, I hope all is well with everyone and that you had a Happy Weekend. My Easter was great. We had some good, quality family time.

I will check on everyone soon.

HOLY CRAP! AM I THAT FAT?

Ok, so we had a meeting with work today. For those of you who don't know, I work from home part time. I teach English to students in Korea. Love it!

Anyway, they took some pictures and just emailed them out. Now hear me out, I know I am fat. I weight 231 pounds for God's sake. However, to see pictures of myself, I almost want to cry. I honestly am in the dumps about it right now. I just dont' see a light at the end of the tunnel. I talk about looking at little pictures instead of the big one so that I don't get overwhelmed,but I don't. I have an incredibly hard time doing so. In all honesty, I did not recognize myself in the pictures I saw. What has happened to me?

Hopefully, I can pull myself together and make some changes.

Starting to feel Normal

My whole family has been sick for about the past week, give or take. We have all managed to be sick in various stages, thank God! Once we all were vomiting at the same time, my husband and I included. Not fun to be throwing up yourself and having 3 kids being sick too.

Anyway, I am starting to feel normal again and hope to be able to get to the gym starting in a few days. I am wimpy when it comes to going to the gym and being sick. Some people can push through it, but not me. I have been focused on my goals though. So far , so good. I forgot to put exercising as one of my goals. I will add it in when I revamp my goals. I need to keep it to a few at a time. Don't want to overwhelm myself.

Side note here: I am a reality tv junky. It's my guilty pleasure. The Bachelor starts tonight. I can't wait! I love that show.

My Plan...

I have decided to recommit to myself. It is time that I try to do what is best for me. I have a wonderful family that I am constantly doing things for and looking after. However, the best gift I could give them is to take care of me. 

Here are my goals:
1. Journal my food, every bite. I need to be accountable for what I eat.  I know the little nibbles here and there are adding up.

2. Create a blog each day. I know that putting my feelings on "paper" should help me to heal whatever is causing me to overeat.

3. Lose a pound a week. I am trying to look at little goals instead a huge one. I need to lose about 110 pounds and if I think of that only, I feel overwhelmed. Instead, I will aim for 1 pound a week. If I get more, terrific!  I am also going to give myself a treat at the end of each month when I meet my goal. 

4. Finally, to eat foods that are good for my body. I was recently diagnosed as prediabetic.  I have been monitoring my blood sugars and can see such a difference when I eat properly.  I am not going to say that I will never eat a cookie again. I know that is unrealistic.  When I do enjoy an occasional cookie, I will do so in moderation and without beating myself up over it.

So there is my plan.  I love myself enough to follow it. Here's to me.

Stomach bug

Well I haven't had to worry too  much about my diet the past 2 days. I have had some sort of stomach bug. So feeling pretty yucky, but haven't really eaten either. Trying to look at the bright side.

I also was able to get an embarrasing story out of it. Monday night, I had to pick my son up from his dad's house. Of course, on the way back home, I started feeling like I needed to puke! Not good. So on route 10, a major highway here, I pulled over to the side of the road. I did not want to throw up in the car! There I am dry heaving and a policeman pulls up with his lights on. How embarrasing! I explained I felt sick and was going to throw up. He just said he was checking on me that I was ok. I greatly appreciated it but wanted to hide since I was embarrased.  I thought it was very nice of him to stop though. I would have really appreicated it if I needed the help.

Hope you all are well. I will check in later.

Where have I been???

I can't believe it has been so long since I posted. Wow! Time really does get away from you doesn't it?

Anyway, I have been plugging along. Trying to keep my blood sugars under control and I have been doing alright with that! I have also been trying to lose weight. I have lost about another 2 pounds. Not much, but I will take it.

I have realized over the past few days that I have been half a**ing it. If I really want to get this weight off, I need to step it up a bit. I can't  only do this half way, I will never get to my goal that way.

I have been keeping up with reading everyone's posts and you all seem to be doing well. I must say, I love this site. I have found a lot of inspiration here.

I hope everyone has a great day. Skinny vibes to all.

Hello Everyone.

I got a bit off track. I haven't been here in a few weeks. However, I have been still reading all of your posts. I have been inspired for sure!

I recently read a GREAT BOOK! Confessions of a Carb Queen. For anyone who has struggled with losing weight, feeling bad about yourself at times because it seems such a struggle, and living day to day with being overweight, this was a great book. At times I felt as if I was reading something I could have written. It is not a diet book but rather a memoir of a woman who lost about 250 pounds. Great read!

The whole prediabetes thing is going well. I am testing my sugars each day and my doc says that even though my sugars are still high, things are moving in the right direction. So we will see.

I am refocused now on taking care of myself. I am reading another book now. If you can't tell, I am  a reader. I will read anything. It is the Weigh Down program. Anyone heard of it before? It is basically about moderation and putting God first to help you lose weight. I just started so, not really sure about it.

Well , I am glad to be back . Skinny vibes to all.

Worked my butt off....

at the gym last night. My thighs are so sore today. My mom bought me 4 Biggest Loser books ( she knows I like the show and I am trying to lose weight) and I did the work out in there. I had to do walking lunges for 5 minutes. It doesn't sound  that bad, but let me tell you... OUCH! My legs were so wobbly yesterday while doing them that I thought I was going to fall down a few times.

I love TBL show , so I figured I would try to follow the diet and work out routine.  The diet seems to focus on what I need, watch calorie intake, whole foods such as veggies, fruits and lean meats. It is worth a shot.

I hope you are doing well. Drop me a line and say hello if you get a chance.

Should I or shouldn't I???

I have mentioned before that one of my secret "dreams" is to run in some sort of race. For whatever reason, I really admire folks who have the drive and determination to run or compete in triathalon style races. I have never been that kind of person, but I think it is my ability to make great excuses that allows me to do so.

I live in Maryland and Under Armour has a race here every year. It is held in October in Baltimore. There are varying levels, a marathon, a 1/2 marathon, and a 5k.  I really want to register.  Of course for my first race I would never register for a whole marathon!  Instead I was thinking of the 1/2 or 5k.

Here is my apprehension though...

1. It is not cheap. It's like 65 dollars to just register for the race.

2. I have never been a runner and not sure if I can even run.

3. I have had issue with my feet ( plantar fascaitis , I know I spelled that wrong) and my feet can really hurt after while, so I am afraid running would hurt them more. It is sort of a catch 22 though, if I lose weight, they may feel better, but sometimes they hurt so much, working out is not easy.

4. Fear. I am afraid to fail. I don't want to register and then not do it. That is my  life story about losing weight. I am all excited and ready for about 1 week and then I lose my drive.

On that note, Let me say... YEAH GIANTS!!! I was routing for them the whole time. Even hubby said they had no shot against the Patriots, but I was right! I really do not like Tom Brady and do not think he is attractive at all. I was completely for Eli to win. I was hoping he could have a moment out of his brothers shadow ( don't get me wrong, I love my Payton!).

Anyway, I have been checking on you ladies and you seem to be doing great! Skinny vibes!

Doing okay..

Hello everyone. Thanks for all of the positive thoughts so many have sent me. I do appreciate it.

Things have been going well. I am really trying hard to follow my new diet. I am probably at 90% right now. I miss little things like juice with my breakfast. I am figuring out how to modify my diet though so I can enjoy some of my favorites.

I got on the scale this morning though and it showed a gain of 3 pounds. Not sure why. I am trying to not let it get me down. I have been following a diet of veggies, fruit, lean meats and poultry, you'd think the pounds would melt off. I have been spotting for the past week, so maybe that has affected my water gain or something.

I am doing well though. I hope you all are too.