A small move in the right direction

The scale finally moved a little bit this morning. Hopefully this is a sign of things to come. Keeping my fingers crossed and mouth CLOSED!!

Not much to update...

I know I haven't been around much this month. It isn't because I have forgotten you all or that something major has happened. In fact, it is just the opposite.

The scale isn't moving and I'm not sure why. I'm getting lots of exercise with all this dang yardwork that needs to be done, and I haven't changed my eating habits...I'm just stuck right now. I've never been stalled this long. I'm trying hard not to get discouraged, but honestly I am starting to get to that point.

I continue to put one foot in front of the other each day and focus on the next mini goal, but DANG IT! I want the scale to MOVE!!

Checking in

I'm still in the midst of a plateau, but hanging in there. I'm down one more pound today but it sure is slow going. It's Ok though, I'm not getting discouraged this time.

My birthday came and went without a lot of fanfare which is just the way I like it. I've never been one that enjoys being the center of attention and prefer things to be low key.

It's been an exciting week around here though with great news hitting me from all over the place. My test results came back benign-NO CANCER! I've been able to eliminate one more medication from my daily regimin thanks to these results and I couldn't be happier. I'm still going to be monitored closely but the weight of the word cancer has been lifted off my shoulders for now. THAT feels WONDERFUL and I can breathe so much easier.

My baby brother finally asked his long time girlfriend to marry him and she said yes. She's been waiting a long time for him to get over his anti marriage feelings, and I am so happy for her. I love her to death, and am so happy that she is going to be a permanent member of our family. Of course this wedding means that I get to go back home to MN again next summer and that is great too. I have yet another goal to keep me moving in the direction I want to be. Nothing like a motivator, right?

Have a GREAT rest of the weekend everyone!!

Holding steady

Hello! It looks like I am in a bit of a plateau again, but this time I'm not stressing about it. I know that eventually the scale will move and I'll eventually meet my next goal. It will all work out in the end. I have confidence.

My Dr appointment and procedure didn't go well, but I'm feeling much better now. I was prepared and warned that it was going to be very painful, and I am very thankful that my Dr. was at least honest and upfront with me so I knew what to expect. I told some other people that I would have rather given birth again with no pain meds and have my toe nails ripped out one by one at the same time then to go through that again. Seriously, it was that bad. I've decided that I hate insurance companies, and nothing will ever change that. Oh well, now begins the wait for the results.

I know people mean well, but honestly it doesn't help for me to hear over and over that I am lucky that this was caught early. Lucky? I don't think so. Lucky would be moving through my life day to day and never having to worry that I have cancer growing inside me. THAT is lucky.  So, I know everyone means well, but please don't tell me how "lucky" I am.

The weekend is flying by and Friday will be my 30th birthday. I'm not quite sure how I feel about this one...I guess I won't know until it actually happens. I'm sure it will be fine. It's going to be very low key I know that. I'll probably go out to dinner with my family and maybe do something fun with Joe.

I'm planning on cutting my hair and maybe doing something else different with it when I reach my next goal. I only have 9 pounds to go, so it shouldn't be too far off. Do you think I should go blonde? I haven't decided what I'm going to do, but I'm looking forward to something different.

Well, I've gone on long enough. I hope you all are enjoying your weekend and that you have a safe and happy 4th of July with those that you hold dear.

Until next time...........

Change of plans

After a fight with my insurance company, which I was not in the winning corner, my surgery has been cancelled. I am now scheduled to have an in office procedure done tomorrow morning. I am so NOT looking forward to this.

On the bright side, I've officially hit the 60 pound mark. I'm not seeing a huge difference in the way I look but I think that is because I look at myself everyday.

It's been hot hot hot outside, and I have a lot of yard work that needs to be done. I try and get out there in the morning before the temps start to rise and again in the evening. The downside to the evening yard work is I get to fight with mosquitoes. Those little buggers just love me!

So, that's the update for now. Hopefully I won't feel too crummy tomorrow and I"ll be able to let ya'll know how everything turned out. Hang in there, and have a GREAT day!!

Always counting...

I'm sure I don't have to tell most of you that this whole losing weight thing is mentally HARD. It seems I am always counting. Counting water ounces, counting exercise minutes- yeah, I know I don't have to count much for that one :o)-counting pounds lost or not lost, counting calories. It just goes on and on and on!

I'm having a really hard time right now. I can see the danger signs flashing all around me, but I'm having a difficult time pulling in the reins. I'm not losing very fast, and it isn't because I'm eating to much junk, or not getting off my butt...it's because I'm not eating. I'm trying so hard to fight this battle in my head-one voice telling me not to eat anything and I'll lose weight and the other voice telling me that I am not healthy, and I need to eat something.

This week I have averaged 600-700 calories per day. I KNOW this is not Ok, yet I can't get myself to eat anything. I walk into the kitchen a bazillion times with full intentions of eating something and I can't get myself to put food in my mouth. I know this is all mental, and that I am making matters worse for myself. I look at the food in the kitchen and read that nutrition information and I just can't do it. I need to find a  way to get control over this. NOW!

My weight has been an issue my entire life. I am finally in a place where I am losing, and doing really well....and I'm screwing it all up. What's the deal? Can't I ever just be NORMAL??

Added some new pictures

Ok, it took me long enough, but I have finally updated my pictures. I had my little sister take some today when we were outside messing around.  As of this morning I have lost a grand total of 57 pounds. YAHOO!!!

Got myself in a bit of trouble today

I've been really busy today. The family took off to do some shopping and just general hanging out, I stayed home with the intention of finishing up some stuff inside the house and really needing to get the porch finished outside. We rescreen the porch, all that is left was to hang the trim pieces that cover the edge of the screens.

So, I finished the laundry and headed outside. It was really hot and humid here, I was outside for several hours just sweating up a storm. I finished with all the trim pieces that we have, but will need to go back to Lowe's and get more and finish totally another day.

After a minimum of 4 hours outside I came in the house a gulped down proabably close to half a gallon of water. Then I jumped in the shower. While in the shower I got really sick. I thought that I had probably just drank too much water too fast. I started to get really dizzy and finally ended up throwing up. I got out of the shower and layed down for a minute then it finally hit me that I hadn't eaten anything since 9:45 this morning...and that was a 140 calorie breakfast bar. I have never felt so awful and I was afraid to finally eat something out of fear that I would hurl all over again. But, I was fine and am feeling much better now.

So, next time I decide that I am going to be super woman and get everything done without eating remind me to think again.

Rambling tonight

On May 28th I posted that I had reached my 50 pound goal. It is now June 20th...almost a month later and I am sitting at 55 pounds. It seems like things are moving so much slower now. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy that I am still losing, but I wish it were faster like it was in the begging. I'm still going to keep on keeping on though, I'm not a quitter and I'll never give up.

I need to update my pictures. I keep meaning to do that but just put it off. My last body shots are from when I lost 40 pounds, so I am now 15 pounds lighter and in need of new pictures, don't you think?

Life is rolling along at a snails pace. Somedays that is good and others it makes me want to pull my hair out. Making the transition from school to summer vacation isn't always easy. The last month of school is busy and chaotic and then BAM! Nothing but downtime, it comes as quite a shock to the system.

Have a good night ladies. I'll "chat" with ya'll soon. Hopefully I'll get those pictures taken and posted in the next day or two.

Happy Father's Day!

Today my husband celebrates his 12th Father's Day. My how time flies. Our little girl is going to be 13 years old this fall it seems not so long ago that we were in the hospital waiting for her to be born.

Joe and I met when I was 16 years old. We were parents shortly after I turned 17. There were many people who didn't think that he and I would be able to stick it out, and raise our daughter together. I won't pretend that it has been easy, and that we have always been rock solid. There was a one year time where I really questioned whether the two of us being together was the right thing. We seperated when Meagan was 2, and I think that was exactly what we needed. One year later we were back together and we were married when our daughter was 4 years old.

Joe has always been a good Dad, even when some expected him to run the other way. He has put one foot in front of the other, gone to work each morning and done all he could do to provide for the three of us. He's a good guy.

So, today I wish all Dad's a Happy Father's Day!