My husband's two cents
So this morning, I was talking about this blog to my husband, and he says that I should share with you all his joke. Mind you, he has a rather odd sense of humor, but he has assured me that you will think it is funny. If you don't, you can e-mail me, and I will be sure to tell him!
Here goes. So this man walks into a bar (why is it that all men have to tell bar jokes. My dh has probably never even been in a bar, but he tells bar jokes. Go figure). Ok, so a man walks into a bar with a monkey on his shoulder. He sits down and the monkey jumps off his shoulder and runs to the pretzel bowl, gets a handful and eats them. He (the monkey, that is) goes to the olive jar, sticks his hand in and eats one. He then goes to the pool table, picks up the cue ball, puts it in his mouth, and somehow swallows that too. The bar tender is getting pretty upset by now, and he says to the man, "Aren't you paying attention to your monkey?"
The guy looks up and says, "No man, sorry. What's he doing?"
"He's eating everything in my bar. He just ate a cue ball off the pool table!"
The man seems undisturbed by this and replies, "Yeah, he eats everything. Just keep a tab of what he eats, and I will pay up before we leave."
So the man finishes his drink, pays the bill, gets his monkey and leaves. A few days later, the same man with the same monkey comes in. The man sits down and gets his drink. The monkey jumps off his shoulder and runs to the cherry jar, gets out a cherry, shoves it up his behind, pulls it out and eats it. Next he gets a peanut, puts it up his posterior side, takes it out and eats it. The bar tender had had enough. "Don't you see what your monkey is doing?" He yells at the customer.
The man looks up and says, "Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. What is he doing now?"
"He is grossing out my customers. He keeps shoving things in his hind end, and then taking it out and eating it!"
Again the man seemed undisturbed by this. "It doesn't surprise me. He still eats everything, but since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures it first."
Okay, so now you know what I live with. No wonder I overeat! (Well, I have to blame it on something!) My dh actually told my father-in-law (who is the pastor at our church) this joke, and told him that he should use it as a sermon illustration. He had it all worked out for him, but his dad didn't think it would go over well! LOL
I guess all you ladies out there can pass this on to your husbands/boyfriends, cause this is a guy joke! Hope they enjoy it. Many of you have probably lost all confidence in my blogging skills now! To those fans (I like to think I am sharing with someone rather than thin air) that have followed me through my blogs (as there have been so many), please do not lose respect for me. I will go get some rest, and come back refreshed and ready to share all those wonderful peices of wisdom that you have come to expect from me. (Hey stop that snickering!)
As for now, it is almost midnight, and I have to go, but as in the words of Arnold...."I'll be back" (I wrote that in his accent. DId you get that? I am so good! 
")
Later