Today I stepped on the salesfloor..I work in the back administrative office of a large retailer and guess what I saw??? WII FIT!!!! They never have WII Fit's and if they do, they're not on the shelf long. So guess what I did??

I BOUGHT A WII FIT!!!!!!!

I'm BEYOND excited about this! I have heard so many great things about this, I knew I had to get it! But there is a down fall to this...

I NEED A FREAKIN WII BEFORE I CAN USE IT! LOL.

Yea, I bought the WII Fit before I bought the WII,lol. I knew they wouldn't be out there long, so I bought it now and when they get another shipment of WII's, I will surely grab one then :) Yay! I can NOT wait to get my WII. Hopefully it's within the next few days so I can start using it when I go back to my apartment. It looks SO cool, I can't wait to start using it. But quick question...Do I have to buy the mat in order to do it? I was thinking about it, but IDK...But my living room is all tile, so maybe I do need it so I don't hurt myself? IDK, yall help me out with this one!

On the weightloss front...

Eating has been a little bad. I had chinese for dinner and the leftovers for lunch today. I have leftovers still (as I don't have an appetite to each much these days and become full so fast) but I vowed to not eat it anymore, my body's had enough of that plate full of greasy stuff. Other than that I'm fine. I've been drinking TONS of water. Haven't had any soda OR diet soda in ages AND I've cut down to 2 cans of juice a day. Not too shabby. Within the next week I plan to cut that down to 1 can or less and have Crystal Light when I need flavor. Which I do need because water is boring me and it's making my stomach hurt. Smh. LOL.

Exercise has been null and void because of this nasty weather and lack of gym. If it is nice tomorrow morning I will go running before work. That is if I can get up. It's sooo hard for me to wake up these days. It's sad. I will talk myself into getting up only to lay right back down and go back to sleep. But the alarm has already been turned off so I end up oversleeping, I HATE THAT!

I've been working on my plan for 2009. I will share them with you all when I complete them. My pastor has spent ever service talking about plans and how we need plans for those plans to ensure we will be sure to reach our greatness this year. He said so many people talk about it but rarely make it because they don't plan. I've been saying that for so long. Plans are instrumental to success! So I am making a big plan that is broken down into little plans. I have a year plan, a life plan, a health plan a career plan, and a financial plan. Woo! I'm excited. I've becoming so much more intune with myself it's crazy how much a little "quiet time" does for you. God reveals so many things to me I feel like I really am getting equipped to live the best life and I'm so excited to see where this journey takes me! Now if only I can quit with these damn internal struggles! *sigh* One day at a time...

And I'll end on a happy note:

All the pants I wore to work this week have fit LOOSE! Now mind you before school let out they were snug, almost to the point where I shouldn't wear them any more. I was basically back in a 16...Well, I'm happy to say my 14's are fitting just fine with a little wiggle room too. I'll be back in my 12's in no time!! But my goal is to be in a 10 or 8. I've never been in a single digit clothing size. It'd be pretty darn awesome if I made it to an 8 or a 9. And I will once I start my exercise regimen. You know how I am in the gym! lol.

Ok, I'm gonna finish up some stuff here at the office and then I'm out to watch the game and hang out with the girls!

Happy Monday. Hope you all are having the start of a fantabulous week!

Me- I'm just at work. I'll be working all week, then it's back to for my VERY LAST undergraduate semester of college!!!! Excitement is an understatement. But until I go back it won't feel "that" real to me. But it has to my mom, that's for sure. She's planning and planning and planning already. I start my fulltime position with the company I intern for on June 7th and I graduate on May 16th. But in between that time I want to take a vacation so I want to be moved into my place here before graudation. That means I have to start mapping out areas I want to live and then get a realitor to help me find a place before then. Then my mom wants to plan some big graudation dinner/party. Oh my! All that ontop of my enormous courseload, sorority AND weightloss...I have to plan my time very well so that I can be successful.

On the weightloss front, things are going good. Went to see the doctor today, another 5lbs down. Brings my total to down 11lbs and 3 more inches were gone too. I'm pretty excited about that!! So was the doctor, he said this weightloss is happening really fast for me. He said there's nothing to worry about as much of it is probably water weight from the diruetics I have been taking. I go in weekly just for stats follow up (bp, weight, measurement, etc..) Today I also had my bloodwork drawn to check my thyroid, hormone levels, etc...I'll have the results in 2 to 3 days. I will update here as soon as I get them back. The nurse also commented that I must drink a lot of water because I have "big juicy" veins that were easy to draw blood from. Atleast someone can tell I drink water, LOL!

I am only 6lbs away from ONEderland!!!!! That feels so good. I looked back on my weightloss chart and I am 10lbs smaller than I was at this same time last year. So yea I had major loss and gains this year but I am happy that I am smaller than I was.

Saturday I went running...For the first time in a long time. AND I ran outside. That's a big NSV for me!! I ran outside in a neighborhood, even bigger NSV. I'm so self conscience about that but I bit the bullet and just did it. I ran for about 20 minutes, then stopped and did some quick exercises and ran back to the house. It felt good once I was done too. Now it's back freezing cold and I won't be able to run outside. Gotta get creative. Can't wait til I go back to school and can use the free gym :)

I bought my nephew a WII for Christmas not knowing that I'd get addicted to the damn thing. I think I played it for atleast 2 hours straight everyday I was there. I LOVE that thing!!! I love it so much that I will be buying myself one, lol. I'm also thinking about getting WII Fit as well.

Ok, I think this post is long enough and I gotta get back to work.

Have an awesome week girls!

A reflection post is coming soon!

Quote: 
Thank God you don't look like the hell you've been through!
-My pastor said that yesterday at church and it's SUCH the truth! 2008 was rough in some areas for me but atleast I don't look it ;)

Gosh I wish I could have consistency in SOME part of my life...Including this blog! This blog is a GREAT tool and I need to utilize it more often! So, that will be one of my VOWS not resolutions for 2009.

I hope everyone had a safe and happy New Years and spent it with those you love and want to be with during the year. I went to church, alone...That's ok though. I needed to be there. I hung out with friends afterwards.

So as you all know I've been going to a nutrionist and weightloss doctor and so far...I have lost 6lbs and 2 inches. I'm pretty excited about that!! Let's pray it continues because i'm going to Miami for spring break and I want to be in a bikini for the first time EVER in my life!! That would be pretty awesome, huh?!

Well, when I went to the nutrionist and got weighed in and all that good stuff lets just say I was pretty appalled at my weight and circumfrence. I was 217lbs and 44 inches around. HOLY FATNESS!!!!!!! I've NEVER been that big in my life. That was an all time high for me. I knew I was in the right place when I saw those numbers. That is/awful.

He spent a lot of time with me. He evaluated and talked to me for an hour! I actually was tired when I left. It was a lot to process. He is going to do some saliva and blood tests to see if it could by throid issues. He also said a lot of doctors don't check for this but it could be a chemical imbalance or it could be a lack of certain hormones in my body. So those tests will explore all of that. I'm so HAPPY I found a doctor that is willing to dig deeper than the surface. He said there is NO WAY I should have gained 20lbs in 6 months. I told him what and how I've been eating and he said that definitely doesn't warrant that type of weight gain. The only thing he said is my body reacts to exercise severly. I told him how if I stop how much bigger I feel and when I do I have to damn near kill myself to see results. He also said I have water retention and that is what is causing my bloating feel and look. So he gave me some diruetics to flush the fluid. I pee NON STOP! lol. TMI, I know.

He also said something very profound to me about what and how I've been eating. He says most of the meats we eat come from ranchers that inject their animals with steriods to get bigger faster to sell for more money. So he said if the food you're eating is injected with steriods and it makes them get bigger faster, then you in turn eat the steroid injected food, you become bigger faster. That makes ALL the sense!!! So he encouraged me to try to eat more natural food. Which is more expensive but I think it's totally worth it. He also encouraged me to eat within the first hour I am awake to kick start my metabolism because that may be part of the problem too.

He said a whole bunch of other things and gave tons more recommendations I've been following. With those changes I've seen results and that's what I like!

I finally feel like I got the kick start I needed. I feel like I'm on my way again. And that's so gratifying!

I have an appointment Monday so we shall see how much I lost this past week.

Hope you all had a wonderful holiday season!

Well, I'm here to admit that I am still failing horribly at doing this weight loss thing on my own.

WIth that said I took the first step to change that. I set up an appointment with a weightloss doctor and nutrionist for Thursday. I pray that it goes well because I realize at this point in my life I can not do it on my own. I'm not saying that I will never or have never done it on my own but at this point I can't. That's the beauty of this thing...You learn the more you stay in it. And this is part of my realization.

Also, I have to admit that I do not come around so much is because it sucks to come here knowing how good I had been doing all for it to result in me being where I am now. But this too shall pass.

I will update you all on how the appointment goes.

Ciao!

Just when I thought I was the only one having problems with my weight issues. When I thought I was the only one looking at old pictures thinking "damn I looked good, what the hell has happened." Just when I thought I was the only who had fell off the weight loss wagon and didn't know when and how I was going to get back on...

I saw this:

Oprah addressing her 40lb weight gain within the last 4 years. If I thought anyone could relate I did NOT think it would be Oprah! Lol. But I've been saying that it looks like she has been gaining weight. I guess she said the best way to address is to talk about it [on her own magazine, of course]. I have tons of respect for her doing this. I mean hell, I have problems admitting my 20lb weight gain on a WEIGHT SUPPORT WEBSITE! So I do commend her. But more importantly, I can relate to her.

Here's a tidbit of what she has to say:

“I’m embarrassed … I can’t believe that after all these years, all the things I know how to do, I’m still talking about my weight. I look at my thinner self and think, ‘How did I let this happen again? I didn’t just fall of the wagon. I let the wagon fall on me.”

That can sum up how I feel. I know WHAT to eat, I know HOW much to eat, I know WHEN to eat. I know HOW to EXERCISE. I know it all but why can't I just get my arse in gear?? I hate being this size, I hate not fitting my clothes right, I hate knowing I can be healthier and smaller than I am. But I guess my willpower is not outWEIGHING my decision making skills. Because if so, I'd be doing the right things. I have tons of excuses and reasons but every night I lay in bed and think about it and know they aren't good enough.

So what am I going to do about it? Keep journaling how I can't do it? Of course not! I'm going to have to find motivation WITHIN MYSELF because noone else is going to give it to me. I think it's time for me to go back to Weight Watchers. It seems I work best with having someone/something holding me accountable. *sigh* I don't know why I'm having so much trouble with this. But it helps knowing I'm not the only one...

Thanks Oprah! [lol]

Thanksgiving is over...Thank God.

I enjoyed seeing my family (Well, partly) I enjoyed going out with my friends. I enjoyed hanging but I'm glad it's over.

This weekend, all of my family commented on my weight. Everyone said "Yea, you have gained some weight." My grandmother said "I thought you said you were losing weight?!" WOW!!

I knew I gained weight. The scale, my clothes and the mirror haven't lied. It's one thing for you to know in your mind you've gained weight and feel fat but it's another for everyone in your family to notice and feel compelled to speak on it.

20lbs IS a lot weight. No, I haven't been working on it hard as I should but I am starting to. I will be. I can not go into the new year feeling like this. So, no I won't wait until the new year to start weight loss, I'm starting now. I will be working out atleast 5 times a week. There are NO excuses! If I can make time for everything else, I can make time to go to the gym. I just have to quit being lazy and do it! The hardest part about going to the gym is not the work out...it's getting there! *sigh*

Only thing to it, is to do it!!

I know I've come here saying I was starting over plenty of times and still fell back into my routine but it's like I can't hide behind it anymore. Plus I am not going to buy size 16 clothes anymore so I have to shrink. LOL.

I will be updating here daily, if not just for accountability to say if I've worked out or not.

Eating will be a challenge, but I know what it takes, I know what to do, now it's just time to FREAKIN DO IT!!

Hope you all had a happy Thanksgiving.

Here's to the last month of the year, let's make it a GREAT one!!

So I've finally come completely clean here. Since I've come back I've been in denial of how much weight I've gained back but if I'm going to lose it I have to be honest. So yes that weight over there is my true weight. BUT I'm happy to say that I've lost 5lbs in the last 2 weeks. I'll take that!! 11 more pounds until my first goal is reached...Making my way back into ONEderland. That's my first mini-goal, then I can work on my big goal.

Today it was so hard to wake up for bootcamp. I woke up late as hell and had the best opportunity to say eff it and just go back to bed but I drug my butt out of bed and went. I only missed one session so I didn't miss much. It is still getting progressively harder each week. This is our last week. I can not believe I've made it this far. Our class has gotten SO MUCH smaller then when we first started. I'm proud I'm one of the few that has made it to week 4. Today we did our normal drills just longer amounts of time but the true test was we had to run 1.5 miles in 15 minutes. It was tough at first but got easier as I found my pace and started to motivate myself metally. I can do anything I put my mind to, really I believe that.

I am extremely tired tonight. One of my sorority sisters stayed the night with me because she didn't want to be alone (her uncle died) and she ended up keeping me up all night and then I had to be up at 6am then as soon as bootcamp was over I had to come home and get ready for work then drive an hour and 15 minutes to work. Then I had to fight traffic for 1.5 hours to get home. I'm BEAT!! I'm about to head to bed so I can get up and make it to the gym by 8a.m. I think tomorrow I'm just going to do cardio.

Eating is going ok for me. I have been making healthier choices and being stronger in resisting urges for not so healthy stuff. I've had nothing but water to drink and actually made it to my 80 oz of water today. I also had more veggies than normal. I know this is TMI but Fiberone bars has REALLY helped regulate me. It's amazing, lol! I need to just eat more veggies and more snacks through out the day and I'll be ok.

So I'm gonna go get some sleep.

"Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe, and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success." Stephen A. Brennan

So I' still going strong in bootcamp. Today was day 2 of week 3. I can't believe I've almost made it a whole month through! In my mind I had given up before I even started and now I kind of enjoy being up so early. And that's a shocker for someone like me who would sleep til 12p.m if I could everyday.

It has been getting increasingly hard as the weeks progress. This week we have been working as one big group instead of 4 small groups. Also ALOT of people who were there on day 1 are no longer coming...It is tough but I can't quit like that. So we still do 4 sections of plyometrics (SP?) legs, arms, abs and cardio. And you know how in my last post I said I wanted more cardio, well as soon as I came back from the weekend that's exactly what we got, MORE CARDIO! We are now running a mile and we have 10 minutes or less to do it. The first laps are hardest but then I find my pace and it gets easier. I think it wouldn't be so bad if my legs weren't already wobly from the legs workout we do before we run.

Have I progressed? Uh, I'd like to think so. I got on the scale today, after my work out so IDK how accurate the weight was but I was not pleased. I am back to my all time highest weight. How the hell did I get there?! Oh wait, I know...Eating whatever the hell I want when I want. Drinking alcohol almost every weekend during the summer and into the school year. Not excercising at all. Yup, that's exactly how I got my weight back up this high. I won't dwell on it, I did it to myself and now it's up to me to lose it again. I'm soooo tired of this yo-yo weight issue. Gain-lose-gain-lose...It gets OLD! So this time I'm in it for the long haul. I won't have any summer stays where I'm practically living out of my car so that will help. My life is crazy busy but I'm learning and trying my best to still work on my fitness and nutrition.

Today has been VERY productive for me.

Today I accomplsihed: bootcamp from 6:30-7:30 then I left there and came straight home and got to work. I swept and mopped my kitchen and living room floors. I moved the couches and table and swept under those too. I cloroxed the counters, did the dishes and cleaned out the fridge. I also dusted and windexed the furniture in the living room. I started and am almost completely done with my laundry. I didn't stop there I then attacked my room, including my closest. I changed my bed set and straightened my bathroom. I also cleaned off the office desk and through away a lot of things in there we don't need. THEN I went grocery shopping where I bought all healthy stuff. ALL BEFORE NOON!!!!!

I am going back to what I know...I read my food journals from when I was on Weight Watchers and following it exactly. I know that eating those foods and following those guidelines along with exercise helped me lose weight. I'm so embarassed I let myself gain all this weight back. I was WELL into onederland then I just spiraled out of control. It just proves that weight loss is on going. I also realize that journaling here and writing what I eat is VERY important. So I will be doing more of that.

Today is the first day of getting back on track and I think I started out great! Now I'm about to take a quick nap because I've exhausted myself then I'm going to get started on homework. I have to get on track with my school work so I can graduate in May. It's going to be tough because I have to take 21 hours (10 online). I HAVE to do this, I WILL do this!!!

So today has restored my faith and motivation. I will get this weight back down!!!

Hello all! I intended to come back here and update as soon as the first day of bootcamp was complete, but as always I got so caught up in life I had no time. Seriouslly, my days are packed from start to finish and if they aren't I'm finding something else to get into or hanging out with my sorority sisters.

But back to my update...

I did make it to bootcamp. I went Monday, Wednesday & Friday last week. Granted Friday it took all the strength in me to get there but I made it! And the trainer kicked my ass, to put it politely. I was SO sore last week it was ridiculous. I had to slide out of the car because my legs were so sore. This week more of my upper body is sore. So that lets me know it's working. I just wish there were more cardio involved. We go from 6:30-7:30a.m. How I get up that early is beyond me but I do. The hour is split up into 4 15 minute sessions. It's all calistenics. We do legs, upper body, abs, and cardio (running). It was supposed to be outside but it's to cold and dark outside so we moved inside the gym. For legs we do stuff like squats, squat jumps, lunges, step ups, up downs,etc...For upper body we do push ups, up downs, bear crawls, moutain climbers, etc...That's the most challenging station for me. For abs we do planks, crunches(I actually feel the burn), ab holds, etc...And for cardio we do sprints and jogs on the track or indian runs. Its very fast paced and my heart is pumping the whole time. I really feel like I get a good work out although during I feel like death. So far I've only been working out on the days I have bootcamp, just to start me off because I've been out of excercise routine for a while but next week I will start working out on the days I don't have bootcamp too. I think I'm just going to do 45 minutes of cardio those days tho.

I missed bootcamp this morning though :( Yea, I was pretty  upset with myself but I couldn't help it, I overslept because I stayed up late last night celebrating. It was pretty historic so I won't be too hard on myself. But I will be making it up by going to the gym tonight after I finish my homework.

Eating wise: I have my good days and then I have my bad days. I have not stuck to meal planning. I have not even had time to grocery shop. Although I have picked the healthier options when eating out or drinking more water. I don't eat sweets and no sodas. Small steps is what I keep telling myself because the perfectionist in me wants me to just quit since I can't get my eating under control. But I will. I have before and I can again. I just have to finish organizing my life. Lately I've been working on my studies because I have to get good grades so I can graduate in May. *sigh*

I wish my life would slow down a bit but I know it will dramatically once I graduate. So I'll deal with it.

I don't want to talk political talk on here but Obama's acceptance speech moved me to tears. I had chills watching him embrace his wife. It was an aw moment I will never forget. November 4, 2008 will go down in history books.