hello world...

..ahem

*poke*

buh bye water weight....

hello normal looking feet..

I LOVE the first week of a diet (nonono, way of life!) when everything seems to come together and click.

10 lbs ...that I swear had all settled in my feet - gone. I thought that maybe I lost all I was going to lose (in big numbers like that) two days ago because the scale stopped dropping... but this morning much to my surprise was down another kilo (2.2 lbs) this morning from yesterday morning. Hot dog!

Now comes the grind. . :P The water weight is gone and the work begins.

I set some goals.. wrote them down.... But I'm taking a different approach and broke it down into smaller, not so intimidating numbers. Instead of saying I want to lose 50lbs by New Years (omg....) I want to lose another 20 by Halloween. 170lbs by October 31st. . . and that's a number that I know I start to feel more comfortable in my skin. (165 really... but SOOO much better then 200lbs. :p) ..and I look at pictures of myself at 160something and I remember feeling so, so fat but uhhhhh.. I wasn't.

Which brings me to something I really really REALLY need to work on. The incredibly distorted view I have of myself. I have always looked in the mirror and seen 'the fat girl...' ..i need to change my view - starting now! Or I'll get back to where I was, or to my goal.. and still see her. :(

So much easier said than done. :/

Goals...

I haven't really focused on this yet... which is weird for me, cos that's normally my motivation to get started. Writing them down, breaking them down into shorter term goals, how to get there, etc. This time - I just started. I landed in Greece and that was it. Diet On. All I knew is something must be done. And so far so good.

The ultimate goal right now is to lose weight ..to get pregnant (ha, won't that be fun! ;p) And I haven't settled on a number at which I'll be comfortable. 150-155 maybe? Basically right now my body just hurts under the pressure of the weight I've gained. ..and I want the hurting to stop before I decide to put on baby weight. My lower back inparticular. . . I've also got this nagging feeling that actually getting pregnant isn't going to be a cakewalk, so I feel like the more I do to help myself the better off I'll be. Hopefully.

I took my measurements today.. labeled them 'OH, THE HORROR!' :P And I admit to taking a peak at the scale. . . the water weight is thankfully coming off in leaps and bounds -- but I'll wait to record on Friday. I knew it would be since my feet were SO swollen and completely unrecognizable. Should be a good chunk of the vacay weight tho. :)

Thanks guys for the welcome back. It feels good to be back on track... :)

In non-diet news... For anyone who is interested I have started a photo blog - a photo a day for 365 days... you can find it here.. It gets me out of the house and walking on most days to take a picture of something altho I can't promise it will be a picture of something interesting :P

Step two...

...start posting!

Well, I'm back. . . and quite obviously, I need to be back!

Life got the best of me for a few months. .

After my last post in Feb. I flew back to Athens and after the jetlag wore off ...I landed a nasty flu bug. . . then after about a week things started going wrong. I was dizzy and my fingers and feet started to go numb... We thought it was dehydration from the flu. . . but after a few days of no improvement (and walking into a lot of walls!) we called the Dr. He came to the house (they do that in Greece! :p) and said it's probably nothing but go to the ER since there is a teenie chance it could be Guillain-Barre. . . but the odds of that are slim to none since it's so rare. (Ten ppl in Greece diagnosed with it a year..) Well, I had it. The public hospital sent me home saying 'it's nothing, maybe you are depressed.. take some aspirin' ...eh?! But after another day and a half of *not* feeling better -- we took me to a private hospital and after convincing them I wasn't pregnant, the neuorologist nailed it.  The link will explain it better than I can -- but in a nutshell -- the flu virus I had had the same genetic code as my nervous system. So, when my body attacked the flu ...I attacked my nervous system as well. Scary. As. Hell. I was paralyzed from the neck down and my face was starting to go numb. I *really* didn't want to talk because it was hard (weird to say it was hard, but ..it was??) but husband was excellent and enforced a little tough love.. made me at least say 'yes' or 'no'. Lung failure was a concern - but thankfully never happened. My neurologist was fantastic. . and pushed for starting treatment before it could actually be diagnosed (takes 10 days after the symptoms show up for it to test positive..) He had ruled out everything else that it could be. ...which was just a terrifying list of choices . . . MS, brain cancer... etc. And as fast as I got really sick... I got better. It was 5 days of medicine via IV.. and the first 3 days I would continue to decline before I showed signs of improvement (just the way the medicine works..) Ten days in the hospital and I walked out on my own (ok, husband held my hand... and I might not of been mrs. speedy or balanced ;P) ..sporten a really cool eyepatch since my vision was still a little screwed up.

However, the flu 10 days in the hospital with no appetite was great for my weight loss. Altho, it didn't last. :P I gained a few back once I started eating properly again and then played with a few lbs. gain, lose, gain, lose... right up until about a month ago ..when I went back to the states for my brothers wedding in July and then husband joined me Aug. 1 for his first visit to the states. :) BUT that meant many many many BBQ's and beers and ice cream.. etc. And barely any water... You get the picture. :P In a months time I gained just over TWENTY lbs. *cry* It was so shocking when I got on the scale that I couldn't even be upset, it was just crazy. I had to laugh...

But now - it's back to business. Drinking my water, aware of what's going in my mouth and taking the time to get out and walk each day. When it cools off I'll rejoin my gym but for now I'll ease back into it with walking and a bit of swimming. It's too darn hot (constantly) to even think about an eliptical. :P

As soon as I can muster the courage, I'll post some new 'before' pictures.

reality check time..

oh my GOD...

..well, this is the first step. .

Whoosh!

Wait, what?? ..what's that noise??? Oh THAT would be the water weight just falling off. :p 5.5 lbs......

I'm not foolen myself, but I'm also thrilled. I even kind of fell off the water drinken bandwagon the last day and a half. Not totally, just wasn't as good as I should of been. And... last week my dad asked if he could take to me lunch today to a tavern that has been there for at least 30 years we figure -- and serves burgers. Just burgers (and fries and onion rings.) A small burger or a jumbo burger. :P So, lunch wasn't exactly full of stellar choices, but then it was nice to go to lunch with dad. ..and since that doesn't happen that often, especially now that I'm living overseas, I didn't let the burgers stress me out. Plus, they are famous for them - so I guess if it's going to be a big ole hamburger, it might as well be a good one.

That said, not steppen on the scale in the morning ;) Give that one a few days :p

5 days till I'm heading home. . . Can't wait to see husband  I promise once I'm back I'll get back in the groove of checken in on you guys... I've checked when I can, just haven't commented. The computer situation here isn't exactly ideal :P

Hope everyone is doing well -- Have a great weekend!

All I can say...

is you guys are the best...  I can't even tell you.. thanks for the comments

..and it looks like things have changed around here. ;p I'll have to take a better look when I get home on my computer (and not sat with the laptop perched on a pillow daring to hurdle itself onto hardwood floors ;p)

Being home is great... altho, I have to say.. I'm ready to get back to Athens (!) and husband :) It's very weird tho.... Portland will always be home -- but now it's just a little off, hard to explain. And I'm calling Athens home now when talking to ppl but yet ..the feeling isn't quite there and I'm don't know if it ever will be. My only conclusion is that home is where husband is. ;p

But there are bagels here... mmMMMmmm. I've only had 2 (in almost 3 weeks time!) so that's gotta count for something. ..and I can't wait to be 8000 miles away from Ben and Jerrys again. It's a much safer world :p

Anyways... I've been watching what passes my lips. I can't say I've been perfect but I'm at least aware ..which is more then I can say for the last month or so. And, I've been getting in my water. I think I was about 16 oz. short yesterday but the day before and today were good. I've gone down to track and walked 3 of the last 4 nights.. 3-1/2 miles.. One night I only did 1-1/2 miles because it was unbelievably cold and I couldn't get moving fast enough ;p So, until I get home -- that's the plan. :)

I'm so glad to be back... making the first post was really half the battle... getting thru the next week and a half of temptations is the next step. Just get me on that plane!

Take care all..

Oh my...

Well ladies (and gentleman, of course..) I've been shocked back into the game.

 I don't even know what to say, I'm so mad at myself.

One horrifying step on the scale and I dropped everything, put on my workout clothes and went to the track to walk 3-1/2 miles. ..and filled up a water bottle on my way out the door.

So, I'm back. Mostly. I'm actually in Oregon right now visiting family and friends for another week and a half then I'm back home to Athens. But I am not waiting till I get back to get started. My goal is to be 5lbs lighter by the time I step on the plane. I realize that's kind of a large number for 11 days but two words, water weight. And even tho I know it will be just that - I don't care! It's still 5lbs. Then when I get home I'll step on my scale asap ...anticipating that it's probably going to be a different number then the scale here at my parents. ..and haul myself back to the gym.

This is short and sweet but if I didn't get it posted now, I knew I would just keep putting it off. I'll try to post daily before I go back home but it may be spotty.. But here I am, heavier then I've been in YEARS, embarressed... and I'm back :)

Funk

Oy, hello.

First, lemme say thanks for the comments and emails. . . Funny how the world works. The last week or so I've been thinking about everyone and EP in general ..and the total lack of attention I've been paying my blog. And then, this morning for some random reason my inbox was flooded w/ email notifications from old comments. If I was waiting for a neon flashing sign or an engraved invitation -- I'd say that's it.

My absence wasn't totally voluntary. My computer did eventually go belly up. BOTH drives and memory were apparently eaten by a virus. (yeah, thanks wonderful virus writing scumbags.) I nearly lost *all* of our photos ......because someone hadn't backed them up....... but my brother-in-law performed some computer geek hocus pocus and saved our photos and music. Now I think husband has about 739 firewalls up and various virus protection crap -- I've nick named my computer Alcatraz.

But ...in all honesty. I've been in a mean, nasty, ugly funk.

/tantrum on

I'm homesick and I wanna go home. I want rain. I want crisp cold nights. High school and college football. Pumpkin patches and apple cider. I miss my family. My mom and brother are a riot (..fairly certain my dad thinks we are baboons and wonders where we came from..) I miss my friends.

/tantrum off

I've decided to use my airline miles and fly home in January for a month. Yay! The horrible news is that husband can't come with me. Last time I went home (sans husband) I was in tears because I want so badly to show him my home. But ....next August. He will come home with me.

And NONE of this has to do w/ weight loss, does it?!

The good/bad news on that front is I've pretty much stalled out. Not gained, not lost. ..the bad bit is that I am still working out like a bunny. . . and the scale is not budging. On Monday I am going to call the Dr. and find out about having my thyroid checked. I've gained and lost a lot of weight and I've never hit a wall like this. So, we'll see. If that's not it -- then I'll just keep pluggen away.

I hope everyone is doing well... ..and I'm soooooooooooo sorry for being a bad EP friend. I will have time this weekend to check in on everyone ..husband is going to Thessolonikki for some appts so I've got the weekend to myself.

But today is our 2 year wedding anniversary. Yay.