So far
I'm classed as obese! woooo....
I've battled with my weight since i was about 10, and at 10 i wasnt even that bad?
I was the same weight from about 12 till about 17? tried everything to lose it and then i started college and everything fell to bits. since then ive gained a ridiculous amount and i feel like ive failed my former self. failed my dreams of starting university happy. This is wrong completely! i'm so happy at university and i've realised that all that crap i told myself about how if i lost weight i'd have more confidence and people would like me more. It's crap. I needed more confidence, i needed more self esteem, and i've achieved that. I haven't changed much since school, but i've accepted who i am and i'm happy with myself.
I feel like having this weight will be the final banishment of my past. It will stop the fears of an early death and i dont want it to get any more out of control. However, i'm so happy and it's so easy to think why don't i just forget about it?!
Uni is temporary, so its so easy to think that this weight is temporary too. When i go home i'm reminded of the permanance in my life, including my weight. I have to stop it now and just get it done and get it gone. I say this every week and the thing is i don't even want to lose that much?!
i'm in a rut. and i've got an awful feeling i'm staying there for a very long time.