05/18/2011 03:00
Boundaries, Not Extremism
All-or-nothing diet extremism can derail us far too easily. Extremism is the approach that causes us to throw a whole day away after we eat one item that is an extra that we consider a cheat. We give up all hope with the tiniest mistake or slip, convincing ourselves that we were crazy to even attempt to do this thing at which we are convinced we will fail. The day can lead to a week, and before we know it, yet another attempt to manage our weight has slipped away.
Diet extremism leads to more negative self-talk, and more negative lies to ourselves about our abilities. We get so wrapped up in this that we find it nearly impossible to get back on track, and we make the same erroneous assumptions that got us in trouble in previous attempts.
Let's use the road analogy in how we approach our plan, keeping ourselves between the sides of the road instead of binding ourselves up with a narrow tunnel to squeeze through. Like traveling on a highway, the road will narrow or widen as we go, and we simply need to be a little flexible and aware of where we are on the road.
If we veer off a little close to the edges of the road, we need to be aware and alert to where the edges are. Bumping into the curb does not amount to a stuck-in-the-ditch crash landing. Even if we do end up in the ditch, we don't just leave the car there and abandon it—instead we just haul it out of the ditch, make repairs, and head down the same road. And just because we always crawled out of the ditch and turned around, donned a hair shirt and walked back the way we came in the past, it doesn't mean we have to do it this time.
We can look upon things like maintenance and or a celebratory meal as going through a little bit wider stretch of the road before the road narrows after the passing lane ends.
When having a special dinner, plan the day in regards to food and exercise, and create a realistic triptych. The three panels of the triptych represent the three major meals of the day. The road is narrow at breakfast and dinner, and wider at lunch, when the meal with friends will be eaten. Exercise is a nice long walk after lunch, already planned. The triptych is complete.