05/17/2011 17:08
Cultivating a Self-Fulfilling Prophesy
I'm a big believer in positive self-talk. If we can have a bad self image through negative self-talk, we can have a good one with positive self talk. Though we always seem to be more willing to believe the negative, the positive can get through. too. And what a difference it makes!
Someone asked me how long it took for the positive self-talk to start having an effect. For me, it was literally just days before I started feeling a lot better. I think it depends upon how often you turn those thoughts around, and how many of them you have in a day!
The first few days felt awkward, as I tried to think in the direct opposite direction I had done for so many years. Like Martha Beck says in her book, The Four-Day Win, after the fourth day of concentrated effort, it started to become easier, and I began to really believe what I was telling myself. I even had to force the direct opposite of those thoughts that tried to call my new voice a liar!
To help me along, I had postit notes all over the place (especially on mirrors!), reminding myself to cultivate those positives. Most of them were affirmations. On mirrors I had those that said, "I'm so happy I can see the beautiful person that is me." On the fridge, "I'm so proud of myself for making healthy choices today." In the car, "I go past drive-thrus because the healthy food waiting at home is one of the wonderful things I do for myself."
From time to time I do slip back into some of those old destructive thoughts—old habits die hard. I've learned to pay attention to the warning signals: The speeded up, self-centric negative thoughts,withdrawing from contact with others, being hyper-sensitive to remarks by wondering if I should take offense, and the biggest red flag of all, responding to the urge to eat when I'm not hungry.