05/15/2011 16:39
Fear of Flying
One thing I see many people admitting when they first start a weight loss regime is that they feel fear. I was there myself when I first decided that it was time to stop the yoyoing and constantly climbing scale, and get serious about lifestyle change.
I was afraid, first and foremost, because I had failed to complete the journey so many times in the past. Was I headed, despite my best intentions, to another failure?
I was afraid because it meant that I would have to find a way to break away from dependence on food to deal with my emotions.
I was afraid because it meant after taking a long time to recover from a knee injury, I was going to have to face down pain to rehab the knee and re-establish good activity and exercise habits.
I was afraid of my fear of hunger. Understand, there has never been a time in my life when I've had to go hungry. Never. Yet I had this terrible fear of not being able to get enough to eat. I think it arose out of my dependence on food to manage emotions. If I couldn't turn to food, what was I to do about the storm in my head?
I was afraid because every time I had gotten close to my goal in the past, I had gotten the attention of men, and it caused jealousy problems with my husband. Would this awaken the old suspicions and fights?
I was afraid because I have always had a bit of fear of success—at everything. I would work very hard to accomplish something, and then it would fall apart just as the rewards started. I was afraid of how success would change my life.
And I was afraid to confront my fears.
Yes, I can understand the fear people experience when they start a weight loss program. Success spills over into so many areas we might not be ready to manage. Yet.
Posted By: Helen Wheels
05/15/2011 05:56
Understanding . . .
Reading that was like reading my own words Helen! I understand that fear . . . in a lot of things in my life. Right now, my newest fear is not eating enough (see my last blog post).
I have always said weight loss is not physical . . . it is mental and emotional. People who have never had to lose weight don't understand how hard and mentally challenging it is. It is the constant battle of changing our entire life because of our dependence on food. It is reprogramming the way we think, act and do. It is society telling us we have to look a certain way to be accepted. The ONLY times in my life I have successfully lost weight was when I was doing it for health and for MYSELF, and while doing it, I had to constantly fight myself!
It is hard . . . one of the hardest things in the world! The "fears" involved are real. I know myself that my Fiancee' will have bouts of jealousy once I am down 40-50 lbs. - I have experienced the reaction of men when I lost in the past AND in my current body (Self esteem seems to be an attractive trait in a woman to A LOT of men!). I have to fight my fear that it may cause a rift in our relationship and remember that he is not a "jealous" person by nature . . . he loves me . . . but he has insecurities, too, and one of them is losing me (He has said this to me in the past. Seriously, I am the luckiest woman alive to have a man so wonderful to love me that much . . .and good looking to boot!). I will deal with that when the time comes.
I guess we all have to learn to sublimate our fears and turn them into positives. I am taking each day at a time - the best way to do it. I am going to deal with each fear as it comes and I will beat them this time!
My biggest weight loss fear - of doing it alone - has already been managed with this website! Seriously, I am finding that seeing other people go through the same thing I am and UNDERSTANDING how hard it is is helping me! I noticed that I could not wait to get on here this morning! That is a good thing!!!!!
